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I have a dear friend and we get along well and help each other out. I've been backing off spending time with her over the past six months or so because I end up getting irritated with things she tells me about her adult daughter.
The girl is a class A con artist. She's 40 y/o and has been on disability for 10 years. She used to work under the table to get her health insurance paid for through Medicaid. She cheated on her husband, got pregnant, and decided to stay with him and told the baby's father the child wasn't his. She now gets SS checks for the child because her husband is also disabled and has him listed on the birth certificate as the father. She drives a big SUV and had it parked at her Mom's so the repo company couldn't find it. She bought or leased another big SUV since then. She "claimed" she was hurt in a minor fender bender and sued. She just claimed bankruptcy after buying new top of the line appliances and having work done in her house by retailers on those credit cards. She still gets Medicaid for her and the child. According to my friend, they're making over $3,000 a month on Social Security Disability. The house is paid off, so they have no mortgage payment, but they also don't pay their taxes on the house. She's healthy enough to ride a quad, but not work?
I'm going out with my friend next week and I know I'll hear about some new con. I don't want to hurt my friend, but I have a really hard time listening to the constant scams of her daughter. I've caught my friend in a couple of lies in things she's told me about her daughter, so I'm not sure I can trust everything she says.
I'm not sure how to politely tell her that it irks me to listen to these scams. Do I leave things as they are and just have a limited friendship and keep my mouth shut or do I risk losing a good friend because I'd lay into my kid for trying to scam anyone?
Personally, I would lay it out on the table. You find her daughter's cons morally reprehensible, and don't want to hear any more about them. Put the ball in your friend's court, but refuse to listen to any excuses she may make. The friendship may end, but you don't seem to be on the same wavelength anyway,
Personally, I would lay it out on the table. You find her daughter's cons morally reprehensible, and don't want to hear any more about them. Put the ball in your friend's court, but refuse to listen to any excuses she may make. The friendship may end, but you don't seem to be on the same wavelength anyway,
Well said.
It should be easy not to talk about the things that her adult daughter is doing. It is not like your friend is sharing information about her tween or teenage daughter.
i would suggest you say you are trying to be a supportive friend but you find it difficult to listen to her daughter's situation as you have a different value system. Suggest that you talk about something else and have a more pleasant topic ready for discussion.
It should be easy not to talk about the things that her adult daughter is doing. It is not like your friend is sharing information about her tween or teenage daughter.
Thank you both for your input. I really appreciate the suggestions!
Just my opinion but if someone lies to me they are not a friend. For some reason this turns me off like a light switch..
I'm pretty much the same way, but she honestly has been a good friend to me, so I guess I have more tolerance for someone that I know is a good person. It was like 2 lies in a 5 year period and it was actually stupid things about her daughter.
Illegal activity should be reported to the proper authorities.
Agree. I wouldn't let her away with this behaviour for a second. Disgusting.
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