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^^^Good grief. I don't think the OP is looking for pity! I'm sure she's been "swept away" by plenty in her life, like the rest of us. Gorgeous sunsets, a smile on a loved one's face, dramatic natural vistas, thrills from various nerve-tingling activities, world-class artwork or architecture....
Lots of us are very engaged with a plethora of interests, and not razor-focused on just one. I think that is healthy. We don't need exclusivity, even though some find fulfillment there.
We can feel passionate about the activity or interest while engaged in it, but then can move on to something else.
Life and abilities change and hopefully we can adjust and roll with the changes, find new interests, new people.
Lots of us have too many interests to focus on just one. Nothing sad about that!
^^^Good grief. I don't think the OP is looking for pity! I'm sure she's been "swept away" by plenty in her life, like the rest of us. Gorgeous sunsets, a smile on a loved one's face, dramatic natural vistas, thrills from various nerve-tingling activities, world-class artwork or architecture....
Lots of us are very engaged with a plethora of interests, and not razor-focused on just one. I think that is healthy. We don't need exclusivity, even though some find fulfillment there.
We can feel passionate about the activity or interest while engaged in it, but then can move on to something else.
Life and abilities change and hopefully we can adjust and roll with the changes, find new interests, new people.
Lots of us have too many interests to focus on just one. Nothing sad about that!
^^^Good grief. I don't think the OP is looking for pity! I'm sure she's been "swept away" by plenty in her life, like the rest of us. Gorgeous sunsets, a smile on a loved one's face, dramatic natural vistas, thrills from various nerve-tingling activities, world-class artwork or architecture....
Lots of us are very engaged with a plethora of interests, and not razor-focused on just one. I think that is healthy. We don't need exclusivity, even though some find fulfillment there.
We can feel passionate about the activity or interest while engaged in it, but then can move on to something else.
Life and abilities change and hopefully we can adjust and roll with the changes, find new interests, new people.
Lots of us have too many interests to focus on just one. Nothing sad about that!
At age 70, I truly have to wonder if I am unusual in that I have never had any driving passions in my life....
I’ve just always been a practical sort of person willing to put in the time, effort and funds to anything I believe in until it stopped making sense. I am sort of jealous of a person who will sacrifice just about everything to pursue a passion. Wonder, at this stage in life, how much joy I have missed out on. Am I unusual?
Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71
Good post.
I have to say that in a way, what you described can be thought of as a very good, stable, fulfilling life with contentment...the pot of gold so many people might just overlook while they chase their passion.
Secondly...IMHO..."passion" is sometimes a misused/misunderstood/over-rated term.
I think this is a very interesting question, and when I gave it even just a minute's thought I realized that my own customary evaluation of my life has been romanticized a bit out of whack. Now, having reflected about it some more while washing the dishes, I am inclined to feel that what I might have considered "passion" has been a more prosaic combination of curiosity and an inclination to sticktoitiveness.
From my late teens to early midlife my life was filled with extreme ups and downs, quite a few major changes and thoughts of being "passion's plaything", which essentially was an extended trip into self-indulgent jackassery. Scrape that away, and what remains underneath of those years is a very reasonable curiosity aroused by living in a new environment on my own, marked by some sensible one foot in front of the other exploration. And when middle age arrived the dubious "colorfulness" dissipated and I stayed interested in things longer, but probably in fewer at a time.
What is nature and what is nurture I can't sort out. I've had hundreds of interests, and then dropped a great many of them simply when my interest was exhausted....and then energetically picked up something new perhaps. I don't know that anything has set that mysterious thing we call "soul" on fire, or just that I will happily work my butt off as long as what is on my plate pleases me.
There was a Brazilian diplomat and popular songwriter, Vinicius Morães who composed many well-known love songs (many have popular English versions.) But he commented, rather surprisingly and matter of factly, "Love is forever, as long as it lasts."
Applying his observation to more than romantic love, I don't see - or maybe I mean, haven't felt - any cynicism in that remark.
This is not a diatribe against passion, but life of less extreme flows and ebbs hasn't been without joy, happiness, fulfillment by any means...nor their opposites as well, of course. So, in response to the OP, I don't think it is unusual, nor do I think it is a lack.
[This veers too far away from the OP, but a major strand of Japanese culture is an emphasis and exploration of the subtle and undramatic contrasts in life.]
At age 70, I truly have to wonder if I am unusual in that I have never had any driving passions in my life. Oh, I liked my career, I liked being a parent, I loved/love my husbands, I enjoyed music and home ownership. I like travel, I do dog rescue. But, internally there has never been a deep, deep compelling engagement with anything that took over all other facets of my being. ?
I've had hundreds of interests, and then dropped a great many of them simply when my interest was exhausted....and then energetically picked up something new perhaps. I don't know that anything has set that mysterious thing we call "soul" on fire, or just that I will happily work my butt off as long as what is on my plate pleases me.
There was a Brazilian diplomat and popular songwriter, Vinicius Morães who composed many well-known love songs (many have popular English versions.) But he commented, rather surprisingly and matter of factly, "Love is forever, as long as it lasts."
I love this. Thank you.
Back in my 20s I bought the book 'The Artist's Way' and did the program meticulously, in an attempt to find and nurture my "passion."
What I found was invariably I ended up drawn to different interests along the way, and usually in a more natural, organic fashion. I wasn't forcing anything.
I think most people have busy lives and ever changing interests that make them well-rounded people without a real passion for any one thing.
Others have found something they're passionate about and really enjoy getting immersed in it.
One isn't any more fulfilling of a life than the other, I don't believe.
It sounds like you wish you had something to focus on at this point in your life. If that's the case, be curious, try a lot of things and you'll find it. I know retired men who took up woodworking and make amazing furniture. I know a woman who retired and took up painting - and is now selling her work. Another has learned French. One took a photography class and wonders where the camera has been her whole life.
Grandma Moses didn't start painting until she was in her 70's. Laura Ingalls Wilder was in her 70's when she had her first book published. Frank McCourt was in his 60's.
If you feel you want more at this point in your life - get out and see where your interests take you.
It is very helpful and comforting for me to read this perspective. Thank you!
To the original poster, I definitely relate to your post about not having a life-encompassing or life-defining passion. It seems like young people are not truly helped when they are advised by their teachers and coaches to find their 'passion' or 'do what you love.' What happens is many people feel lost, confused, and/or failed in life if they have not discovered this one focus or passion by their teens or early adulthood.
I'll take a "fondness for interests" over passion and "contentment" over happiness, any day of the week. Passion and happiness are emotions that really start to drain you after a while. I'll stay smiling and well-rested!
At age 70, I truly have to wonder if I am unusual in that I have never had any driving passions in my life. Oh, I liked my career, I liked being a parent, I loved/love my husbands, I enjoyed music and home ownership. I like travel, I do dog rescue. But, internally there has never been a deep, deep compelling engagement with anything that took over all other facets of my being. I’ve known people in the performing arts, or collectors, or helicopter parents. I know people who love history and continually explore new aspects or historical discoveries. Etc. etc. etc.
I’ve just always been a practical sort of person willing to put in the time, effort and funds to anything I believe in until it stopped making sense. I am sort of jealous of a person who will sacrifice just about everything to pursue a passion. Wonder, at this stage in life, how much joy I have missed out on. Am I unusual?
I think you put yourself out there reasonably in expectations of a modest return in whatever you were pursuing. Nothing wrong with that. It is just a testament that you weren't a "bet the farm" kind of person when giving your time or efforts.
Just because you didn't join a traveling circus, or become the next Mother Teresa, doesn't mean you led a life unfulfilled.
At age 70, I truly have to wonder if I am unusual in that I have never had any driving passions in my life. Oh, I liked my career, I liked being a parent, I loved/love my husbands, I enjoyed music and home ownership. I like travel, I do dog rescue. But, internally there has never been a deep, deep compelling engagement with anything that took over all other facets of my being. I’ve known people in the performing arts, or collectors, or helicopter parents. I know people who love history and continually explore new aspects or historical discoveries. Etc. etc. etc.
I’ve just always been a practical sort of person willing to put in the time, effort and funds to anything I believe in until it stopped making sense. I am sort of jealous of a person who will sacrifice just about everything to pursue a passion. Wonder, at this stage in life, how much joy I have missed out on. Am I unusual?
We can be jealous of the $, someone has, so they can practice making gingerbread houses year after year and winning contests, or whatever their dopamine inducing activity is. But other than that, don't read too much into passion (unless it's music). Passion is a disguise of addiction, therapy or obsession, said in a good way.
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