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Tell him to stop texting you and then stop responding to anything after that. Around the neighborhood, just be cordial and say what's up and then keep moving. Just be quick about it and move on.
Im amazed that grown people have such a difficult time drawing boundaries. Maybe its social media that has screwed up peoples brains, I dont know. What is so difficult with....dont answer. Just dont answer. If he should talk to you on the street about why you dont answer, you say you just dont text anymore. Simple. Done. If he keeps texting and you dont want to be bothered, block his number. Draw your own boundaries.
Partly it's because our society has it drummed into our heads that we need to be "nice" and "polite" and that we always owe people an answer to everything.
And, frankly, partly it's because these days, you never know who's unhinged and is going to fly off the handle if they perceive that you slight them. OP being rude to a neighbor could start a years-long feud, and who knows the kinds of things this guy could do to annoy or "get back at" OP. Especially in these days of internet. People are painfully aware that if they **** off someone who has their personal information, that information could be posted online with derogatory claims, calls to harass the person, etc. This guy has OP's phone number and, it sounds like, knows where OP lives. And we know he's got issues. I guess I wouldn't want to risk this guy's retaliation, either. The stakes can be too high.
Partly it's because our society has it drummed into our heads that we need to be "nice" and "polite" and that we always owe people an answer to everything.
And, frankly, partly it's because these days, you never know who's unhinged and is going to fly off the handle if they perceive that you slight them. OP being rude to a neighbor could start a years-long feud, and who knows the kinds of things this guy could do to annoy or "get back at" OP. Especially in these days of internet. People are painfully aware that if they **** off someone who has their personal information, that information could be posted online with derogatory claims, calls to harass the person, etc. This guy has OP's phone number and, it sounds like, knows where OP lives. And we know he's got issues. I guess I wouldn't want to risk this guy's retaliation, either. The stakes can be too high.
And thats why the OP shouldnt keep engaging. Just stop answering. There is no law that says you have to answer texts, any more than you have to answer the phone. Just dont answer. There is nothing rude about that. In fact its probably safer than keep engaging. You never know if what you say or text will **** him off. Just. Dont. Answer.
OP, I don't do texting since I think it's an addictive habit that can lead to some pretty serious social problems. You are proof of that, your own situation is evidence of the kind of problems that can happen when you get involved with an unbalanced text addict and get into the habit of responding to all their texts. It becomes a vicious circle.
But IF I did do texting and was getting texts from a barely known acquaintance who was becoming overly familiar, condescending and insulting I would send them this text and end the association:
"This is my last text to you. Lately I've noticed that you have been texting me too often and you have become increasingly insulting towards me in several of your texts to me. I have been responding to your texts to be polite but I don't like being targeted for insults and am not required to tolerate rudeness from anyone. Under the circumstances I have decided it will be better for both of us if we end our association and no longer text each other. I am blocking your texts from now on so don't bother trying to send me any further texts and don't try to contact me or speak to me in person."
Just send that message to him and leave it at that. Keep a record of it. Be sure that you DO block him so that you can't receive any more texts from him and therefore won't be tempted to read his texts nor respond to them.
And from now on exercise more discretion and caution about who you make friends with and who you give your phone number to.
Yea but I got a feeling this dude is gonna text me in the morning. He’s either gonna send some political video or music video from YouTube. What if he does? Should I respond to it
Since there's a possibility he might be unstable, I wouldn't risk antagonizing him in any way - including telling him his texts are unacceptable. Don't respond to the texts, or at most if you think it better initially respond with a single emoji a few times before starting to ignore them.
When you run into him and he asks what you thought, say something like "I couldn't think of anything to say" or "I don't know much about that." Then immediately make an innocuous comment about the weather and tell him you're late and gotta run.
And thats why the OP shouldnt keep engaging. Just stop answering. There is no law that says you have to answer texts, any more than you have to answer the phone. Just dont answer. There is nothing rude about that. In fact its probably safer than keep engaging. You never know if what you say or text will **** him off. Just. Dont. Answer.
Is that not what I advised him to do?
But it's still not easy to just ignore a person who is standing right in front of you talking to you. And that is OP's worry, that he is going to run into this guy and the guy is going to talk to him or ask why he doesn't respond to text messages.
Is he really 40 years old? He acts like he is 10 and I mean no disrespect to 10 year olds as some of them are way more mature than this guy. He is a loser. Lose him, block him, disassociate.
OP, you got plenty of good advice here. Follow it.
I too am shocked a man your age needs online advice about something so basic as this; as one person said above, we are not obligated to be polite/kind/etc to all people in all situations. This "buddy" of yours has terrible social skills to put it lightly and he may be unhinged, on drugs, or something of the sort.
In the not too distant past, a person I knew in college and whom I had not had any contact since the early days of the Bush administration found me on social media. That person was somebody I thought was nice but we had a rather awkward falling out. I completely backed out and backed off, moved on with my life, and here I was at the end of this decade when I heard from this individual.
While I was surprised, I agreed to engage that person in social media. Phone numbers were exchanged and our texts started nicely enough. I asked this individual what was the reason behind seeking me out after so long. This person said something of the effect "I've been a hermit and I wanted to get back in touch with people who were nice."
Fair enough. Didn't go much beyond this.
A few months later this person texted me a very odd request, begging for money to pay some bills or this person would be rendered homeless. Having no way to verify the information (and even if true, I wouldn't have complied), I politely said I was in no position to send cash and recommended social services. This person then sent a text which was clearly coercive, "if I did you can keep my stuff."
I didn't text back and blocked this individual.
A short while later, another request on the same social media... another attempt to connect.
I ignored it.
This person never texted me again.
The conclusion: silence does make people leave you alone.
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