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I am the kind of person who quickly responds to emails, phone calls, and texts.
If you put something out there - like a text, and get no response, it means something - and in this case, what I think it meant was that she was busy and for whatever reason, she doesn't see responding to me as a high priority in her life.
I give family members great precedence over all others and if someone in my family texted me saying they wanted to talk about x, y, or z, and the text came at an inconvenient time, I would text back "now is not good - can we talk (whenever)") - I wouldn't just ignore them. I felt very hurt based on the fact that she seems to have little regard for my feelings.
You will continually be disappointed by people if you keep expecting them to respond the way you think they should. Youve admitted this woman is bad-tempered and doesn’t see anyone else’s point of view. Contact someone once. If they don’t respond, move on, regardless of whether you think what you have to say will benefit them or not.
I text because it is faster, and usually more convenient to do so. I take the same view of responding to texts. If it isn't urgent, I respond when I have the time, which is rarely immediately.
I have a relative who says she loves me. I texted her yesterday to tell her I would like to talk to her when she has time. She is away on business and I know that - I just wanted to say, "When you have time, let's talk" (and told her what it was regarding).
She did nothing wrong. You made a statement, not a request. You established your expectation when you said "when you have time, let's talk." She hasn't had time, so you haven't talked. There was no expectation communicated that you were waiting for a reply.
What you should have said was "I know you're out of town for work, but when do you think you'll have time to talk about [whatever]?"
I text because it is faster, and usually more convenient to do so. I take the same view of responding to texts. If it isn't urgent, I respond when I have the time, which is rarely immediately.
This.
I am not glued to my phone and have all notifications off except for the ringer (sometimes that goes off too); as the owner of the phone, I get to choose when to be ‘bothered’, not the other way around. Best thing i ever did was to turn of the ‘read’ feature of my texts.
When I had only a landline, I screened my calls first using an answering machine and the using caller ID.
The OP is being unreasonable. They knew this person was on a work trip and yet still reached out (TWICE!) and expected an immediate answer.
My dd has a friend like this. She will text and if dd doesn’t respond within 5 mins she send another and then another and then she sends the “I don’t know why you’re mad at me” text. @@ 80% of the time my dd is napping with her baby and has no idea there’s 15 texts from this girl. Sigh. Who has the time to deal with this?!
She finally responded that she was at dinner and could we talk when she returns home in a few days.
So she DID respond, just not as quickly as you would like.
People are not obligated to answer the phone or return texts immediately. That is the nice thing about texts. Recipients can read and respond at their convenience.
I have a relative who says she loves me. I texted her yesterday to tell her I would like to talk to her when she has time. She is away on business and I know that - I just wanted to say, "When you have time, let's talk" (and told her what it was regarding).
Silence.
Today I tried again.
More silence.
She finally responded that she was at dinner and could we talk when she returns home in a few days.
Totally acceptable, and she could have said that instead of ignoring messages.
She called me to say she is not glued to her phone (except she is because of business) and she just saw my message on her watch. She thinks it's perfectly acceptable to not respond at all.
This is the type of person you cannot argue with - she has a bad temper, and is unable to see another person's point-of-view.
I know this about her, but still I texted because I wanted to talk to her about something. It didn't occur to me she might not respond AT ALL.
I think a text saying "Can we talk about this when I get home? I am super busy," would have been no big deal. To leave someone just hanging is not cool.
I asked her what she would do if she texted her fiancé and he didn't respond and she said she would call him. I called her and it went to voice mail!
Just inconsiderate (and the irony is that I wanted to run something by her that would benefit her).
And she says she "loves" me (but has no regard for simple courtesies).
/rant almost over
I always think that if you need an immediate response to something, CALL. You know, you can call people on cell phones, it works.
If it is not urgent - text. You can return texts to your convenience and I think, waiting to text back for a day or two if it is just a relative with a non urgent request, no big deal.
So it took her 24 hours to respond to a non urgent text where you clearly stated "WHEN you have time" but you actually meant "NOW." You know she is a busy woman but you still needed to be pushy and add another text when you did not get an answer right away? Not polite at all.
My dd has a friend like this. She will text and if dd doesn’t respond within 5 mins she send another and then another and then she sends the “I don’t know why you’re mad at me” text. @@ 80% of the time my dd is napping with her baby and has no idea there’s 15 texts from this girl. Sigh. Who has the time to deal with this?!
I also occasionally experience this. Someone I talk to once in awhile will send a text, then will move to phone calls within a few minutes, almost obsessively. It's never urgent, just a "Hi how are you, what's up" type communication. I'm not glued to my phone, I'm out and about and busy.
She did nothing wrong. You made a statement, not a request. You established your expectation when you said "when you have time, let's talk." She hasn't had time, so you haven't talked. There was no expectation communicated that you were waiting for a reply.
What you should have said was "I know you're out of town for work, but when do you think you'll have time to talk about [whatever]?"
yeah...this.
You didn't set an expectation. You just...told her something, and made it sound like there was no hurry to respond.
I don't text while driving, while working, or in many other situations. I will get back to you when I get back to you. Life is much easier when you don't obsess over what anyone else is thinking or doing.
I have a relative who says she loves me. I texted her yesterday to tell her I would like to talk to her when she has time. She is away on business and I know that - I just wanted to say, "When you have time, let's talk" (and told her what it was regarding).
Silence.
Today I tried again.
More silence.
She finally responded that she was at dinner and could we talk when she returns home in a few days.
Totally acceptable, and she could have said that instead of ignoring messages.
She called me to say she is not glued to her phone (except she is because of business) and she just saw my message on her watch. She thinks it's perfectly acceptable to not respond at all.
This is the type of person you cannot argue with - she has a bad temper, and is unable to see another person's point-of-view.
I know this about her, but still I texted because I wanted to talk to her about something. It didn't occur to me she might not respond AT ALL.
I think a text saying "Can we talk about this when I get home? I am super busy," would have been no big deal. To leave someone just hanging is not cool.
I asked her what she would do if she texted her fiancé and he didn't respond and she said she would call him. I called her and it went to voice mail!
Just inconsiderate (and the irony is that I wanted to run something by her that would benefit her).
And she says she "loves" me (but has no regard for simple courtesies).
/rant almost over
She's probably not texting you back because you come off as incredibly needy and neurotic, which is a drain to any rational person.
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