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Do people who ignore texts not care when someone does the same to them? I think not. I think they probably care just as much but for some reason, they give themselves more leeway than they would give others in the same situation. It's just a selfish outlook and I was hurt because I was trying to "do good," and I wasn't expecting to be ignored.
When you are ignored and it's family, it's not like you're never going to talk again - so it has to be resolved to everyone's satisfaction.
If the solution is never to text her again (because this kind of thing could happen and it's not good for my mental health) - it's not a practical solution because we have to communicate.
And I don't want to punish her by doing the same thing to her (she would flip out - so ironic).
I don't text or communicate through Facebook. I prefer speaking face-to-face but will do phone calls. It's too impersonal and too easy to misunderstand or miscommunicate.
Good communication is crucial to smooth relationships and on the menu of life I consider texting to be substandard, the fast food of communication. LOL.
I've discovered that people younger than I automatically assume that I communicate as they do. Then they can also automatically assume all kinds of erroneous ideas about my relationship with them based on that. Why? Because they're not taking time to talk to me face-to-face so they miss the cues for sincerity and goodwill.
I need to get that straight whenever I make a new acquaintance. Right up front before the confusion begins.
No, not lonely at the moment, though the non-response did trigger me.
I am the kind of person who quickly responds to emails, phone calls, and texts.
If you put something out there - like a text, and get no response, it means something - and in this case, what I think it meant was that she was busy and for whatever reason, she doesn't see responding to me as a high priority in her life.
I give family members great precedence over all others and if someone in my family texted me saying they wanted to talk about x, y, or z, and the text came at an inconvenient time, I would text back "now is not good - can we talk (whenever)") - I wouldn't just ignore them. I felt very hurt based on the fact that she seems to have little regard for my feelings.
You seem a bit needy if that hurts your feelings. The women is on the road on business and not glued to her phone to answer your texts. Apparently it is not a life or death situation so talk to her when she can.
People who want to communicate with me reach out to me not punch three acronyms into their phone in 10 seconds.
There is a very old and very true saying: "Actions speak louder than words." Although this probably doesn't apply to the OP, just to put it out there:
If I don't get back to someone right away, it is because I don't WANT to get back to that person (or more often, business).
In the case of businesses, I will ignore the call or e-mail, but after the third one, I will reply with something like, "I am not interested at this time, so please don't call or e-mail me again. If I am ever interested, I will contact you." If I get another call or e-mail from them after that point, I will just erase the email or phone message without even reading/hearing it. And in the case of people I know but that I don't like, my replies will be polite but very short -- and I am certainly not gong to do anything to encourage more contact!
I know this is a vent, but I become very irritated with people who won't take a hint or take NO for an answer!
There is a very old and very true saying: "Actions speak louder than words." Although this probably doesn't apply to the OP, just to put it out there:
If I don't get back to someone right away, it is because I don't WANT to get back to that person (or more often, business).
In the case of businesses, I will ignore the call or e-mail, but after the third one, I will reply with something like, "I am not interested at this time, so please don't call or e-mail me again. If I am ever interested, I will contact you." If I get another call or e-mail from them after that point, I will just erase the email or phone message without even reading/hearing it. And in the case of people I know but that I don't like, my replies will be polite but very short -- and I am certainly not gong to do anything to encourage more contact!
I know this is a vent, but I become very irritated with people who won't take a hint or take NO for an answer!
I am with you. MIL kept dialing all four lines last night then she started texting on them - to ask the daily question "I am doing great, will talk at you later". Yes, at which is her way of communication.
I understand.
I have a male friend i see occasionally, and he'll text me....'are you working?'....i reply 'no are you?'. And then that's it! No reply back lol
That was one example..he does it all the time.
So, i'm seriously thinking abt doing it to him...it's abt time i did lol.
But i try to get back to my texts right away if I'm able to.
Unless my phone is being charged, or i turn it off for the night.
I despise cell phones for exactly this reason. Before cell phones, I could wait until a convenient time and place to return calls, and nobody thought the worse of me. Now, if I don't respond within two minutes, my family & friends assume I'm laying in a ditch somewhere. For goodness sake, nobodysbusiness, give this person a little space to get back to you. If s/he is away on business, then accept that it might be several days before s/he returns your call. Patience is a virtue.
I see text messages as limited in their usefulness and appropriate for things such as "I'm running late" or something simple.
Detailed conversations and situations where its important to know the non verbal aspects of the communication are not for texting.
Furthermore, texting and IMs are intrusive if the expectation is an immediate response. You are basically saying, "drop whatever you are doing right now and answer me right now."
Most of the time, I have no need or desire to drop whatever I am working on at the moment to answer every text, especially unsolicited ones
Ok. Got it. I am "neurotic and needy" for expecting a simple courtesy acknowledgement (even if "k") to the receipt of a text to a family member.
I hope all of the "mean people" get their karma in their loved ones not responding to them so they can see how it feels to be left hanging.
A text is a conversation starter . . . it is not done in a vacuum. There are two people involved and communication "should be" courteous and reciprocal.
There is no reason, after 24 hours, why a person could not respond with "k" or "talk later." If you think that's too much to ask, then I think you have little regard for the people trying to communicate with you.
And I know. It's your "right" not to care about others or how your behavior might impact them.
The world is so uncivil today.
If you teach your kids about common courtesy, be sure to tell them not to give a crap about other people and to think only of themselves at all times.
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