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I have a relative who says she loves me. I texted her yesterday to tell her I would like to talk to her when she has time. She is away on business and I know that - I just wanted to say, "When you have time, let's talk" (and told her what it was regarding).
Silence.
Today I tried again.
More silence.
She finally responded that she was at dinner and could we talk when she returns home in a few days.
Totally acceptable, and she could have said that instead of ignoring messages.
She called me to say she is not glued to her phone (except she is because of business) and she just saw my message on her watch. She thinks it's perfectly acceptable to not respond at all.
This is the type of person you cannot argue with - she has a bad temper, and is unable to see another person's point-of-view.
I know this about her, but still I texted because I wanted to talk to her about something. It didn't occur to me she might not respond AT ALL.
I think a text saying "Can we talk about this when I get home? I am super busy," would have been no big deal. To leave someone just hanging is not cool.
I asked her what she would do if she texted her fiancé and he didn't respond and she said she would call him. I called her and it went to voice mail!
Just inconsiderate (and the irony is that I wanted to run something by her that would benefit her).
And she says she "loves" me (but has no regard for simple courtesies).
I don't have conversations through text with people, and I won't apologize to them for it. If they want, they can call me, send me a message through facebook or come over and see me. I am not obligated to instantly respond to them no matter how they contact me.
I never did get into the texting thing. I don't get the appeal of it, it's also hard to peck on teensy, tiny little keys on a phone.
I had a neighbor that would text really long conversations, all day long, getting upset when I didn't text back and reply to every single text. I don't talk to her anymore. She wants to have some kind of "relationship" with people via texting and that's her thing, that's her approach to people and relationships but it's not mine.
There have been plenty of times where I've seen a text, been unable to reply right away for whatever reason, then forgotten about it. But in this particular case it sounds like she probably doesn't want to talk about the topic you texted her to talk about.
I am the kind of person who quickly responds to emails, phone calls, and texts.
If you put something out there - like a text, and get no response, it means something - and in this case, what I think it meant was that she was busy and for whatever reason, she doesn't see responding to me as a high priority in her life.
I give family members great precedence over all others and if someone in my family texted me saying they wanted to talk about x, y, or z, and the text came at an inconvenient time, I would text back "now is not good - can we talk (whenever)") - I wouldn't just ignore them. I felt very hurt based on the fact that she seems to have little regard for my feelings.
There have been plenty of times where I've seen a text, been unable to reply right away for whatever reason, then forgotten about it. But in this particular case it sounds like she probably doesn't want to talk about the topic you texted her to talk about.
Yes - she said she was not on that wavelength, which is totally understandable - I don't have any issue with that and will most likely discuss it when she returns.
I was trying to convey something to her which would have benefited her, so it's not like I was texting to cause trouble or create drama - it was 100% to assist her with something very important to her.
Do people who ignore texts not care when someone does the same to them? I think not. I think they probably care just as much but for some reason, they give themselves more leeway than they would give others in the same situation. It's just a selfish outlook and I was hurt because I was trying to "do good," and I wasn't expecting to be ignored.
When you are ignored and it's family, it's not like you're never going to talk again - so it has to be resolved to everyone's satisfaction.
If the solution is never to text her again (because this kind of thing could happen and it's not good for my mental health) - it's not a practical solution because we have to communicate.
And I don't want to punish her by doing the same thing to her (she would flip out - so ironic).
I am the kind of person who quickly responds to emails, phone calls, and texts.
If you put something out there - like a text, and get no response, it means something - and in this case, what I think it meant was that she was busy and for whatever reason, she doesn't see responding to me as a high priority in her life.
I give family members great precedence over all others and if someone in my family texted me saying they wanted to talk about x, y, or z, and the text came at an inconvenient time, I would text back "now is not good - can we talk (whenever)") - I wouldn't just ignore them. I felt very hurt based on the fact that she seems to have little regard for my feelings.
If you expect others to think and act like you, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. She did in fact respond, just not immediately. From her point of view, perhaps she thought you were inconsiderate for contacting her regarding a non emergency when you knew she was on a business trip. I personally set aside a time to respond to all non emergency emails at one time and no one has ever told me it was inconsiderate.
I texted her yesterday to tell her I would like to talk to her when she has time.
What you didn't do is communicate that you have something (info?) about (specific subject) that she's been wanting & to give you a call when she's available. Then, if she was motivated about this thing that would benefit her, she'd call back or communicate when she got home. Just saying "I want to talk to you when you have time," doesn't seem like it's anything urgent, important, or time-sensitive. It gives no clue, it buries the lead completely. And maybe it isn't important or time-sensitive.
Reality: many people treat texting exactly like people used to treat someone leaving a message or voicemail (or perhaps still do). If it's important or urgent they'll return a call. If it's not a priority or important it will be cast aside until later, or maybe never. They might do this with most everyone, including family members. They don't see a text or message as important unless someone is high on their priority list, like a boss who you have to please, or a spouse, or their child calling.
I have a relative who says she loves me. I texted her yesterday to tell her I wouldlike to talk to her when she has time. She is away on business and I know that - I just wanted to say, "When you have time, let's talk" (and told her what it was regarding).
Silence.
Today I tried again.
More silence.
You said "when you have time" then texted again?
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