Bringing something to grill to a barbecue. (person, couples, member)
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I have no idea. As I said in my initial post i can't keep track of what is good etiquette these days. I'd always stuck with the bring something other than yourself but have even had some hosts seem insulted when I did bring something.
Some of the things I've seen done at weddings, barbecues, dinner parties, etc over the years just makes me wonder. I could do a separate thread on that stuff.
In this case I don't what brought that on. All I remember was being hounded about it. Whole 'nother topic on that as well.
I don't think it's you and being unable to keep track of what is good etiquette but more than it varies by the host or the group.
I've never been asked to bring our own meat/protein. It's interesting how many twists there can be on what would be a simple cook-out.
If invited, I always ask what I can bring - if everyone brings something, it can really help take the effort off the host, but only if they REALLY bring what they said they would. I can't tell you how many people have said they'd bring something and showed up empty handed, saying they forgot or just didn't feel like making it - both to events I've hosted or other people have hosted.
I was visiting family this 4th of July and went to a friend's barbecue. My mom repeatedly asked me if I needed to bring something to grill. I'm 39 and not once have I been asked to do that nor have I ever seen someone do that (including my parents). Is that a thing? Did it used to be a thing? I've found I can't seem to keep up with etiquette since I turned 30. (A whole 'nother thread!)
If I were vegan I could see bringing something non-Meat --- but I'm not vegan and it does not sound like you are either. I've never brought something to grill to someone else's cookout either. Though if I did I'd bring an extra special cut steak or something, but with plenty extra to share if / when the cuts got ooo's and ahh's from those at the party! My sister in law's husband brought some extra thick cut sirloins to a cookout at my in-laws house (they had plenty of meat to grill on-hand already) once and folks were salivating bigtime. He'd brought more than enough to share-- beyond the feast that my in-laws had furnished.
If I were vegan I could see bringing something non-Meat --- but I'm not vegan and it does not sound like you are either. I've never brought something to grill to someone else's cookout either. Though if I did I'd bring an extra special cut steak or something, but with plenty extra to share if / when the cuts got ooo's and ahh's from those at the party! My sister in law's husband brought some extra thick cut sirloins to a cookout at my in-laws house (they had plenty of meat to grill on-hand already) once and folks were salivating bigtime. He'd brought more than enough to share-- beyond the feast that my in-laws had furnished.
I have a vegan friend who brings her own tofu burger because she doesn't expect anyone else to buy a package of something they don't eat to accommodate her one burger.
It was nice of your SIL's husband to bring the steaks, but at the same time, I don't know if I'd appreciate him bringing steaks for everyone unbeknownst to me, if i was hosting the get together and providing all the food. Maybe with family it's different but I wouldn't presume to bring a main course that overrides what the host is providing.
I can't tell you how many people have said they'd bring something and showed up empty handed, saying they forgot or just didn't feel like making it - both to events I've hosted or other people have hosted.
Or they decide to bring something else. Last BBQ we hosted, we ended up with 8 different desserts for 9 people. I would not bought dessert if I knew others were going to bring multiple desserts.
And most were homemade desserts, so it wasn't that they stopped by the store to get beer and wine, and saw a dessert they thought looked good. They went to the store, bought all the ingredients, and then came home and cooked the dessert. There was plenty of time for a heads up saying they were thinking of making a dessert instead.
I find this interesting. Do you feel this way just about cookouts, or all meal-centric parties in general?
My feeling is that if the host says to bring nothing, I have to respect that. To bring something against their wishes would be rude. Some hosts put a great deal of thought into planning their menu, and bringing something that they would feel obligated to serve would throw off their "vision" for what they have planned.
Yeah, I know that sounds like a bit much when it comes to cookouts, but it's not impossible that a host could have planned a particular menu and really doesn't want anyone bringing anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southking500
I agree with this and I go to parties where the same people do this all the time.
The result is too much food and then the host's food goes uneaten.
A potluck is usually billed as such, otherwise I bring wine or beer.
Thank you! When I host people I hate it when people bring stuff. I have enough trouble keeping track of things as it is and someone bringing in something that needs heating or to be put in a dish or whatever drives me crazy. I do not think it’s rude to show up empty handed and I’d rather not have extra leftovers of anything.
Just want reiterate that I know to being something and I always do. The question is specifically about bringing something to grill so let's stay on topic.
I think it’s rude to take you own meat to grill. I also have food allergies, so would never allow anyone to just bring meat to put on my grill.
I think it’s rude to take you own meat to grill. I also have food allergies, so would never allow anyone to just bring meat to put on my grill.
You have meat allergies?
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