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No, I don't think it is normal to just bring a piece of meat to a BBQ without the hosts knowing.
I've had many BBQ's. If someone just showed up with a piece of meat to put on my grill without telling me a head of time I would be annoyed. Takes up more grill space and may mess up my planned meal.
As for other parties that I've had at my house, I HATE when someone just shows up with something without me knowing ahead of time and says, "Oh, this just has to go in the oven at 350 degrees for half an hour. Or, just put this in the frig when my frig is packed with the food I plan on serving.
Now, if someone wants to offer to bring something and tells me a head of time, great! I just think showing up to a party with food that needs refrigeration or cooking without telling the host ahead of time is rude .
I had someone show up at a BBQ with a tray of Ziti to cook in my oven. I told them unfortunately I already had things planned for the oven and didnt' have any room. I put it aside and sent them home with it.
Bringing a tray of baked ziti and expecting you to just pop it in the oven is ridiculous. Good for you that you didn't let it mess up your plans. Also, someone mentioned space in the refrigerator which is another concern when guests bring things without asking. The people bringing the extra food probably think they're being generous but they're usually causing more work for the host/hostess.
I find this interesting. Do you feel this way just about cookouts, or all meal-centric parties in general?
My feeling is that if the host says to bring nothing, I have to respect that. To bring something against their wishes would be rude. Some hosts put a great deal of thought into planning their menu, and bringing something that they would feel obligated to serve would throw off their "vision" for what they have planned.
Yeah, I know that sounds like a bit much when it comes to cookouts, but it's not impossible that a host could have planned a particular menu and really doesn't want anyone bringing anything.
If I'm invited to someone's house for food, whether a sit down dinner or BBQ, I always bring something. They don't have to serve it but I can't go to someone's house empty handed. It may be flowers, a bottle of wine, an ambrosia salad or something similar.
When I was growing up my mom taught us never to go to anyone's home empty-handed and I've taught my kids the same thing. There's a difference between bringing a hostess gift like flowers or candy and bringing something that the guest (or host) expects to be cooked and served.
What the OP is referring to is basically bringing your own entree. That wouldn't fly with my mom and it doesn't fly with me. I couldn't imagine asking guests to come to my home carrying their own pieces of raw meat.
This was my experience over the years, too, back in the day when we were mostly young couples or families.
I wouldn't do that now as old middle aged folks.
I remember that too. Call me grouchy, but at 72 I don't even appreciate pot luck invitations. I suspect others agree, because at the last few I've attended the "brought" food was all store bought store prepared. Not like when we were young and it was homemade and delicious.
Or they decide to bring something else. Last BBQ we hosted, we ended up with 8 different desserts for 9 people. I would not bought dessert if I knew others were going to bring multiple desserts.
And most were homemade desserts, so it wasn't that they stopped by the store to get beer and wine, and saw a dessert they thought looked good. They went to the store, bought all the ingredients, and then came home and cooked the dessert. There was plenty of time for a heads up saying they were thinking of making a dessert instead.
My family once attended a potluck picnic where there were 12 desserts and 11 of them were brownies and maybe two side dishes. Luckily the person planning it had enough hot dogs and hamburgers for everyone but someone had to make a quick grocery run to buy some prepared side dishes.
My family once attended a potluck picnic where there were 12 desserts and 11 of them were brownies and maybe two side dishes. Luckily the person planning it had enough hot dogs and hamburgers for everyone but someone had to make a quick grocery run to buy some prepared side dishes.
That's funny. We went to a small gathering of 6 families. I brought a green salad; everyone else brought beans! Baked beans, green bean casserole, lima beans, 3 bean salad and bean dip.
I would never bring food to someone else's party. They have the menu planned.
Bring a gift for the host. Wine, flowers, or whatever, but not food.
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I'll rep you for that!
