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This is a little difficult, so bear with me...
I have an aunt - my dad's younger sister - sole surviving aunt now (all other aunts and uncles are long gone). We were always somewhat close - she had three kids, all grown now, but we all loved each other and sporadically kept in touch.
Anyway... I was driving down to Florida, made a brief stop in South Carolina, where my aunt and cousins live (her husband, my uncle by marriage, passed away some years ago). I got into their area and tried to call, but the phone is disconnected. So on a fluke I go knock on their door. Oldest cousin comes to the window and I say, "It's me, your cousin Rick!" I lowered my face mask so she could see me clearly. "Cousin Rick!" I said again. She said something I couldn't understand and disappeared without opening the door.
About five minutes later, her brother (my middle cousin) pulls up in his car. I wave to him, "Hi..it's your cousin Rick!" He said nothing, but backed his car out of the driveway and drove away. I waited and waited... no one ever opened the door! I left.
I was always close to my aunt and cousins... I just don't understand this. It hurts me a lot because as I've said in previous posts, there's not many of us left in my family. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles all gone - this is the only aunt we have. And I don't even know if she's well these days - or still with us!
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-21-2021 at 09:40 PM..
Reason: Merged 2 threads on same topic.
That is odd. Quite odd. How long has it been since you’ve seen them or spoken with them? I know now, with Covid, people are odd about opening their doors to drop ins. Not that that is an excuse for their behavior.
If you’re really concerned, you could ask the local police to do a welfare check on her, but if you have spoken in years they might think it’s odd. I don’t know, but I am sorry this happened to you.
While I would not just have popped in on anybody during this pandemic--especially without knowing their vaccination status--their behavior was odd. At the very least, they could have explained why they were behaving as they were (if they, in fact, wanted to keep their distance due to the pandemic). Consider it this way: you were floored by their behavior, they may have been floored by yours.
Last edited by prospectheightsresident; 04-15-2021 at 05:14 AM..
While I would not just have popped in on anybody during this pandemic--especially without knowing their vaccination status--their behavior was odd. At the very least, they could have explained why they were behaving as they were (if they, in fact, wanted to keep their distance due to the pandemic).
Vaccination status? What does that have to do with anything? (We’re not to the star wearing stage yet) You can still catch and pass Covid post vaccine. But, yes, dropping by unexpected in a pandemic is a no-no.
I would reach out to them (in any way you can reach them) and try to have a direct discussion with them. Maybe they couldn’t understand you or for whatever reason it didn’t click who you were; maybe there was some type of emergency going on; or maybe they just have issues. But since a lot of people wouldn’t go for unannounced visitors especially now, and maybe they were freaked out by an unannounced visit, I’d try again, but not in person (I would do phone (if it gets reconnected), mail or email).
I went to visit my cousins once and they ignored me, and I was really offended. But then one reached out to apologize.
Vaccination status? What does that have to do with anything? (We’re not to the star wearing stage yet) You can still catch and pass Covid post vaccine. But, yes, dropping by unexpected in a pandemic is a no-no.
From the CDC:
Quote:
What You Can Start to Do If you’ve been fully vaccinated:
You can gather indoors with fully vaccinated people without wearing a mask or staying 6 feet apart.
You can gather indoors with unvaccinated people of any age from one other household (for example, visiting with relatives who all live together) without masks or staying 6 feet apart, unless any of those people or anyone they live with has an increased risk for severe illness from COVID-19.
This is why knowing vaccination status is relevant. You can still pass and catch Covid post vaccine, but the risk of severe illness/death is tremendously diminished, which is why the CDC has issued the amended guidance. Simply put, if I am the OP's relatives and am not vaccinated (and I'd assume that the aunt isn't a spring buck either in terms of age), I would not want the OP coming through. The OP should probably take certain precautions if not vaccinated either, but that is ultimately up to the OP.
I would reach out to them (in any way you can reach them) and try to have a direct discussion with them. Maybe they couldn’t understand you or for whatever reason it didn’t click who you were; maybe there was some type of emergency going on; or maybe they just have issues. But since a lot of people wouldn’t go for unannounced visitors especially now, and maybe they were freaked out by an unannounced visit, I’d try again, but not in person (I would do phone (if it gets reconnected), mail or email).
I went to visit my cousins once and they ignored me, and I was really offended. But then one reached out to apologize.
That's what I'm wondering... did they not recognize OP? In which case... random-seeming guy knocking on the door or standing in your yard yelling at you... yeah.
(Although you'd think they might call later-- "Hey Rick, were you at our house today?")
I had no intentions of walking into the house and "making myself at home" given the circumstances with COVID and all, but as their phone was disconnected and I had virtually no other way of contacting - they have email, but rarely go online - and they're not on social media, figured I'd just say a fast "Hi" from outside (social distance) ensuring that everyone is alive and well. Just a 5 - 10 minute "Hey, how ya been?" and I'd be satisfied.
Oh, and yes, they will recognize me...even after a number of years. I'm one of those people who still looks the same from childhood through adulthood. I'm almost 60 now and still look the same (save for some gray hair and crows feet). So the answer is yes - they would know me if they saw me!
I say this with all kindness... I think you made a few social errors here.
1) Showing up to someone's house unannounced isn't really a great thing to do in general, you know? They might have been in the middle of putting on hair color, or on a telehealth call with their doctor, or getting busy with a lover. There's a reason if people want to visit, they set up an agreed upon time first. If you'd just showed up at my house out of the blue, I wouldn't have opened the door either.
2) We're in a pandemic. I have not had my family over in 14 months because we're not all vaccinated yet. The closest we've come is all wearing masks and chatting from across a lawn outside. Now, YOUR plan might have been to do that. But they haven't talked to you in forever. So they have no way to know that you're going to respect their safety precautions. They may worry if they open the door, you're going to want to come inside, or say that you need to use the bathroom.
So in short, I wouldn't be upset with your relatives. This awkward encounter was caused by you not calling ahead (or writing/FB, whatever) and arranging a visit where there were clear expectations.
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