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One thing that kind of bugs me is how families always expect you to see them, i mean, just because they are your parents, the parents of your spouse,e.t.c, doesnt mean you should have to see them, and especially when you are an adult, you should be able to decide whether you see them or not.
I have an older brother who hasnt seen my dad for years, they never speak on the phone and never visit each other, and another brother who rarely visits my dad, i'm looking for my own place at the moment, and i may not see much of my family either after that, as sometimes they have been too controlling.
The thing is,unfortunately, you cant help the kind of family you were born into, and saying you should respect someone just because they gave birth to you is ridiculous.
As for a spouse's family, i guess you can help which kind of a family you go into, as if you dont like someones family, you could always not marry the person who's family it is, but that wouldnt be right if you love the person, as you are marrying them, not their family.
Both my parents families are as different from each other as you can get,and my parents themselves are, and i often wondered why they got married in the first place.
I wouldnt know what it is like to have a family in-law yet though myself as i've never been married.
I think you should print this up and keep it in a safe place for when your children grow up and have children....
People are not always going to think alike...but I've found and was a young wife myself...and the things that I found irritating about my MIL then, now seem so small....but wait until your 50 -70 years old and then perhaps you can answer that question.
I for one am a loner, so I don't need people....but when it comes to the son you carried for 9 months and raised and had a very good rapour with....and then he marries a very immature self imposed immature woman who is so intimated by her mil, that she devises lies and stories to drive a wedge between the two of them...and complains to her hubby constantly about the MIL???? What good can come of it...it's still his family, right or wrong....and he loves them...
I wonder sometimes if young wives are simply jealous and do not know how to share her husband with his family....???? I don't know....but it's awful the fights that happen between families...and filled with pain and heartache.
Well, I finally heard back from my MIL. She apologized for all of the things she had done (which I included in the email) and then some. She sounded very sincere however I am taking it with a grain of salt. I will allow her the chance to prove to me that she can have boundaries as well as try to have respect for me as her son’s wife. We also spoke about her potential visit. We both agreed that it would be best for her not to come. So as of now, things are looking up. I guess I should have taken this step a long time ago.
I want to thank everyone for their honest opinions and suggestions.
Well, I finally heard back from my MIL. She apologized for all of the things she had done (which I included in the email) and then some. She sounded very sincere however I am taking it with a grain of salt. I will allow her the chance to prove to me that she can have boundaries as well as try to have respect for me as her son’s wife. We also spoke about her potential visit. We both agreed that it would be best for her not to come. So as of now, things are looking up. I guess I should have taken this step a long time ago.
I want to thank everyone for their honest opinions and suggestions.
Good for you, Springhiller! I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how it all went.
I have a bit of advice, you sound like you will not need it, but here I go. Be gracious and accept her apology but be cautious! The saying goes something like this...First time burned, shame on you. Second time, shame on me. Have a great, stress free summer!
My ex mother in law was definetly the one who couldn't let go. Before I happened on the scene, everyone said Bev had the longest umbilical cord in the world and they said this about all her kids.
YES I resented it, NO I wasn't going to let it beat me down, those were my sins for the persecution she gave me.
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