Horrible Mother-in-Law wants to visit (affection, wife, husband, children)
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Nope, nothing. No email or phone call to me or my husband. You're right, very rude.
Tickets have not been purchased. She was speaking to my husband about dates and times. But fortunately, no airline tickets have been reserved. Maybe she won't even want to come now. But that's up to her. However, I gave her the option of the hotel with my husbands 100% approval. Now he is so mad that he doesn't even want them to come.
Well I hope it works out that they don't come. I'm sure it would be stressful at this point. I would think there would at least have been some kind of reply or HER trying to speak with your husband without your knowledge. Thats what my ex MIL would have tried.
Nope, nothing. No email or phone call to me or my husband. You're right, very rude.
Tickets have not been purchased. She was speaking to my husband about dates and times. But fortunately, no airline tickets have been reserved. Maybe she won't even want to come now. But that's up to her. However, I gave her the option of the hotel with my husbands 100% approval. Now he is so mad that he doesn't even want them to come.
CONGRATS for standing up for yourself! Just think what you would have endured, had you not sent that email! Glad to hear your hubby's finally catching on!
More than likely, the Monstor-I-L's brain will not "allow" the contents of the email/letter to sink in. And her brain will work around the facts of the letter, until the letters realign and then confirm some hideous translation, which only she can see and understand.
This MIL of yours has an evil twin in Wyoming!!! And most likely many other cities and relationships.
KUDOS for sending the email and remember to try and not let her behavior stress you. Because I can guarantee her little world is not being rocked by her own behavior, YOU are the only one feeling the stress. Sad, but true.
Making them stay at a hotel is a sure cop-out if you have the room at your home. My mother-in-law would pick non-stop. So I asked her many questions on how she would do something. Also put her to work around our home. What the heck 5 boys, I took advantage of the whole visit. Learned more short-cuts on house cleaning from her. Took her grocery shopping with me, learned about cheaper cuts of meat that would just melt in your mouth. Learned how to use a pressure cooker the, RIGHT WAY without it blowing up on me, and having the dog with noodles draped over his snout. After all my husband was one of 6 kids. The boy's loved grams and gramps, my husband would just smile at me!
Making them stay at a hotel is a sure cop-out if you have the room at your home. My mother-in-law would pick non-stop. So I asked her many questions on how she would do something. Also put her to work around our home. What the heck 5 boys, I took advantage of the whole visit. Learned more short-cuts on house cleaning from her. Took her grocery shopping with me, learned about cheaper cuts of meat that would just melt in your mouth. Learned how to use a pressure cooker the, RIGHT WAY without it blowing up on me, and having the dog with noodles draped over his snout. After all my husband was one of 6 kids. The boy's loved grams and gramps, my husband would just smile at me!
Not every mother in law is like yours. This one is a very negative, manipulative and controlling person. No one should have to be mistreated at all but never mind in their own home as Springhill has had to deal with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by girleylips
just show the in-laws love regardless of what's going on....
Being nasty and manipulative is showing love? If you believe that then you have some wires crossed.
girlylips, it's hard to show someone love when all they have done is emotionally abuse you. She has tried everything to get me out of her sons life. She even went as far as accusing me of sleeping with my husbands best friend. She also told my husband that she saw me in the mall making out with some guy....I was at work at the time she specified and my husband knew that since he spoke with me on that day right around the time she stated.....so her plan did not work.
Well...still no email or call from her. I really wish she would at least call and talk to my husband about whatever she is feeling. He is even more frustrated that she has not responded than I am. I just want us to get along and have her treat me with respect. I have always been nice to her. I am the type of person that stands up for myself but with her, because she is my husband’s mother, I never did. I always thought that it would create more problems and make things a lot more unbearable for both my husband and I. I just wish she would respond so we can start the repair on our relationship.
girlylips, it's hard to show someone love when all they have done is emotionally abuse you. She has tried everything to get me out of her sons life. She even went as far as accusing me of sleeping with my husbands best friend. She also told my husband that she saw me in the mall making out with some guy....I was at work at the time she specified and my husband knew that since he spoke with me on that day right around the time she stated.....so her plan did not work.
Well...still no email or call from her. I really wish she would at least call and talk to my husband about whatever she is feeling. He is even more frustrated that she has not responded than I am. I just want us to get along and have her treat me with respect. I have always been nice to her. I am the type of person that stands up for myself but with her, because she is my husband’s mother, I never did. I always thought that it would create more problems and make things a lot more unbearable for both my husband and I. I just wish she would respond so we can start the repair on our relationship.
I agree, your MIL is, unfortunately, the EVIL MIL, and I pity you for having her as your MIL, but commend you for standing up for yourself. Hey, you ARE the mother of HER grandchildren, so unless she can give you total (not some) respect and own up to her faults (ie, what I bolded above), she does NOT deserve your house hosting capability at all.
Now, as far as her not responding via email or phone calls, what she is doing is called SILENT TREATMENT. Trust me from my own experience, silent treatment is better than any contact from her at all. I don't think your MIL will change, so enjoy this silent treatment for as long as you can. Silent treatment = peace of mind .
I agree, your MIL is, unfortunately, the EVIL MIL, and I pity you for having her as your MIL, but commend you for standing up for yourself. Hey, you ARE the mother of HER grandchildren, so unless she can give you total (not some) respect and own up to her faults (ie, what I bolded above), she does NOT deserve your house hosting capability at all.
Now, as far as her not responding via email or phone calls, what she is doing is called SILENT TREATMENT. Trust me from my own experience, silent treatment is better than any contact from her at all. I don't think your MIL will change, so enjoy this silent treatment for as long as you can. Silent treatment = peace of mind .
OH man the silent treatment is so awesome. There are people in my life that I purposely make mad so they will give me the silent treatment.
When you don't care that they aren't talking to you, then you take their control away from them.
girlylips, it's hard to show someone love when all they have done is emotionally abuse you. She has tried everything to get me out of her sons life. She even went as far as accusing me of sleeping with my husbands best friend. She also told my husband that she saw me in the mall making out with some guy....I was at work at the time she specified and my husband knew that since he spoke with me on that day right around the time she stated.....so her plan did not work.
Well...still no email or call from her. I really wish she would at least call and talk to my husband about whatever she is feeling. He is even more frustrated that she has not responded than I am. I just want us to get along and have her treat me with respect. I have always been nice to her. I am the type of person that stands up for myself but with her, because she is my husband’s mother, I never did. I always thought that it would create more problems and make things a lot more unbearable for both my husband and I. I just wish she would respond so we can start the repair on our relationship.
Okay, now that you've mentioned that she's tried and continues to try to destroy your relationship/marriage with your husband, then I have to become more firm than I was in my initial reply. It's one thing to have difference of opinion, personality conflicts, and minor things like that, (minor irritations that one can live with), but for a MIL to come out and blatantly lie about her DIL (accuse her of cheating, fabricating stories), for that, all h*ll would break loose and things would be settled that day or as soon as possible. If she has done this to you in the past, then the boundaries need to be set by your husband and even your FIL. She sounds like a real pain in the as* who has learned how to manipulate people quite well. Not sure why she hasn't responded to you yet, but even this might be some form of manipulation.
I'm betting that she's playing the "I'm the mother card" all the time, wanting respect from you, her son, and her husband, and she's gotten it. It's too bad that she doesn't respect the "She's the woman that married my son and I need to respect that" card.
The wedding ceremony even ends with "What God has joined together, let no man (woman) put asunder)." Your MIL does not have the right to tear your marriage apart; she is clearly out of line.
These types of people cannot be left unattended to run amuk and wreck lives. If she attends an organized church or religion, her pastor/priest needs to counsel her on her role as an in-law/MIL and let her know that what she's doing and what she's done is unacceptable. What she has done, is very serious. She has gotten away with it because she's not been called on it by your husband and her husband (your FIL). This woman has been left to her own devices for too long. She needs someone to set her straight by being very blunt with her. No kiddie gloves for her. Again, what she has done, she has no right to do to you. If she has done this, she's bloody lucky that you and your husband even have anything to do with her.
I know that you're waiting for a reply from her. Not sure what your e-mail said, but she sounds like a very controlling person.
Again, I'm really sorry that this situation has gone on so long and that it's been left unattended for so long. I do hope that some kind of reconciliation/agreement/new start can be reached, if that's what you want. If not, go on with your life and forget her staying in her house. The woman that tried to destroy my marriage would not be welcome; I would have no problem telling her to go where the sun doesn't shine. You must not let your marriage be manipulated by some controlling person who lies and fabricates lies. This is very serious to me. I do not want any lying snakes in my house, she has to accept you as being her son's wife; if you're married, you made a commitment to each other, you've joined each other's lives in holy matrimony, this is a sacrament. She has absolutely no right to do what she has done. I'm pretty sure that I've repeated myself three times over already. I sincerely wish you the best. Your marriage deserves better treatment and respect by your in-laws.
P.S. - Your husband also needs to be reminded of the sacred marriage bond/covenant and the marriage vows that you took at your wedding. These weren't just simply words; he needs to stand by you always, and put you at the helm, as this is where you belong. His parents are still to be respected and there should be mutual respect. If you need help backing this up, please see your pastor/priest/counselor, depending on your religious orientation.
Last edited by Donna7; 06-09-2008 at 01:50 PM..
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Serious REPS for the OP.
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