Do you formally introduce your self to neighbors when you move into a new home? (business, issues)
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What you dont like crack heads? They are so cool! They smell really nice and have great teeth. They also like to try to get into your home without having to be invited! A lot of them are mentally ill and should be hospitalized which will make for wonderfully rich conversation and experiences...oh wait...nevermind...lol
I think its just plain STUPID to knock on anyone's door you dont know. Its their house, you dont know what they are going to be doing because you are just popping in....
You can know everything you ever need to know about your neighbor just by sitting on your front porch and watching. Ask anyone over 65...well maybe 75.
I grew up in a small town and then moved to some of the roughest urban enviroments. You DONT go and knock on doors unless you want to chance something terrible to happen to you. Plain and simple. I hope you are not raising your children to be as niave and unprotected as you. Here recently a girl was stabbed to death by her neighbor in her apt because she opened up the door to him. I would rather have cancer than scissors in my throat or an AIDS shl8ng up my arse.
Life is a buffet and it isnt all good stuff.
It really amazes me how niave people are.
No wonder serial killers and the likes are so successful.
Well, aren't you the rugged individualist? Hey, I've probably lived a lot more life than you have, and seen a lot more. Unless you choose to live in a crack alley, there are good neighbors wherever you live.
What you dont like crack heads? They are so cool! They smell really nice and have great teeth. They also like to try to get into your home without having to be invited! A lot of them are mentally ill and should be hospitalized which will make for wonderfully rich conversation and experiences...oh wait...nevermind...lol
I think its just plain STUPID to knock on anyone's door you dont know. Its their house, you dont know what they are going to be doing because you are just popping in....
You can know everything you ever need to know about your neighbor just by sitting on your front porch and watching. Ask anyone over 65...well maybe 75.
I grew up in a small town and then moved to some of the roughest urban enviroments. You DONT go and knock on doors unless you want to chance something terrible to happen to you. Plain and simple. I hope you are not raising your children to be as niave and unprotected as you. Here recently a girl was stabbed to death by her neighbor in her apt because she opened up the door to him. I would rather have cancer than scissors in my throat or an AIDS shl8ng up my arse.
Life is a buffet and it isnt all good stuff.
It really amazes me how niave people are.
No wonder serial killers and the likes are so successful.
This is part of why I would never live in a "rough, urban neighborhood" and I am raising my children to be friendly, good neighbors. That dosn't mean they are naive, just not bitter, unhappy people. There is a difference.
cpg, I wanted to say maybe it's just a southern thing, but it's not. I grew up in the Detroit area and it was the same way with my neighbors there. There's always a few neighbors that keep to themselves and that is fine. I think what your and I are talking about is the neighbors that "want" to get to know one another, hang out with each other and lend a hand. Just different personalities I suppose. And I also don't think cpg lives in a rough urban neighborhood either.
I just don't understand. Why on earth wouldn't you at least want to know the names of your neighbors? Are you people just total sociopaths? What do you people do when you get home from work, sit inside and watch television eight hours before turning in? It just seems like an impoverished life if you ask me.
After interacting with people five days a week at work, plus seeing friends and family socially, I frankly don't see how anyone who doesn't want to add neighbors to their already-large-enough list of social relationships can be described as a sociopath or someone with an "impoverished" lifestyle. Our home is our sanctuary, our retreat from the hustle and bustle of the world. Calling someone who values their at-home privacy a "sociopath" is about as fair as if I called the household of someone who loves having company over, a "zoo".
When we get home from work, we RELISH the PEACE AND QUIET that we can finally ENJOY after putting in a long hardworking day.
And I have never lived in anything even close to a 'rough neighborhood' in my life, so that has nothing to do with it.
As MonaLisaVito says, it's mostly a personality thing but IMO she's right, it's also a regional thing. I suspect that many (not all, but MANY) people who think it's appalling that others prefer not to socialize with their neighbors, are either in or from what the media calls Small Town America. I'm NOT INSULTING small towns here, people!!!! Just calling attention to the lifestyle difference between a small or mediumsize town environment and that of the suburbs of a major city, which is where we've always lived. I also think it makes a difference whether a family has kids or not. If you have kids and are in a neighborhood of kids, you pretty much can't avoid your neighbors because you need and want to know where your kids are at when they're playing elsewhere than home. But once you're out of that stage, honestly now, is there any practical NEED to know your neighbors? IMO not.
As for security, we'd rather depend on our security system than a neighbor any day. And it'd be a cold day you-know-where before we'd ever give a key to our house to ANYONE else, ever. Not paranoid, just practical.
After interacting with people five days a week at work, plus seeing friends and family socially, I frankly don't see how anyone who doesn't want to add neighbors to their already-large-enough list of social relationships can be described as a sociopath or someone with an "impoverished" lifestyle. Our home is our sanctuary, our retreat from the hustle and bustle of the world. Calling someone who values their at-home privacy a "sociopath" is about as fair as if I called the household of someone who loves having company over, a "zoo".
When we get home from work, we RELISH the PEACE AND QUIET that we can finally ENJOY after putting in a long hardworking day.
And I have never lived in anything even close to a 'rough neighborhood' in my life, so that has nothing to do with it.
As MonaLisaVito says, it's mostly a personality thing but IMO she's right, it's also a regional thing. I suspect that many (not all, but MANY) people who think it's appalling that others prefer not to socialize with their neighbors, are either in or from what the media calls Small Town America. I'm NOT INSULTING small towns here, people!!!! Just calling attention to the lifestyle difference between a small or mediumsize town environment and that of the suburbs of a major city, which is where we've always lived. I also think it makes a difference whether a family has kids or not. If you have kids and are in a neighborhood of kids, you pretty much can't avoid your neighbors because you need and want to know where your kids are at when they're playing elsewhere than home. But once you're out of that stage, honestly now, is there any practical NEED to know your neighbors? IMO not.
As for security, we'd rather depend on our security system than a neighbor any day. And it'd be a cold day you-know-where before we'd ever give a key to our house to ANYONE else, ever. Not paranoid, just practical.
Quite frankly, I work just as hard as anybody. So does my wife. We have three children who are involved in just about everything, and we're on the treadmill as much as any working parent can be. What's more, we live in a big city, too. That being said, if you're really devoting so much of your energy and attention to work that you don't know a little something about your neighbors on either side of you, then I contend that something is seriously out of whack in your life. No, you don't have to barbecue with them every Saturday (We don't). No, they don't have to be a constant presence in your social life (Maybe once a year, we have the neighbors over for a drink, so you can't make that claim either). But if you don't have it in you to greet your neighbor by name if you're both outside at the same time, or have the occasional five minute conversation out by the mailbox, then I think that does make one a sociopath.
But if you don't have it in you to greet your neighbor by name if you're both outside at the same time, or have the occasional five minute conversation out by the mailbox, then I think that does make one a sociopath.
Okay, I can see we're talking about 2 different things here. I'm not saying that we turned a cold shoulder to the 2 neighbors we knew, we always did exactly as you describe: a wave and a "Hi John" or "Hi Mary" in passing (sorry but I've never lived in a neighborhood that had mailboxes out by the street, they've always been attached to the house!). I'm saying that there are many people who prefer not to take neighbor relations any further than that, and IMO that is NOT being a sociopath. It means that the person values their privacy and that of their neighbors as well.
As for people dropping in, no matter who they are (neighbors, friends or family), it so happens that both my SO and I were taught as kids that doing that is RUDE. And we're not anomalies either, in fact in my entire 50+ years of life I've only met ONE person who thought that "just dropping in" was acceptable behavior. But I do realize that some people view it as a friendly gesture. Different strokes for different folks! Again IMO this is NOT a matter of the "right" or "wrong" way to behave: It's either personal preference or the way you were raised, and I'd hope that any adult would respect that everyone's entitled to their own opinion/preference about that too, without being labeled either a "sociopath" or a "rude busybody" because of it.
Okay, I can see we're talking about 2 different things here. I'm not saying that we turned a cold shoulder to the 2 neighbors we knew, we always did exactly as you describe: a wave and a "Hi John" or "Hi Mary" in passing (sorry but I've never lived in a neighborhood that had mailboxes out by the street, they've always been attached to the house!). I'm saying that there are many people who prefer not to take neighbor relations any further than that, and IMO that is NOT being a sociopath. It means that the person values their privacy and that of their neighbors as well.
As for people dropping in, no matter who they are (neighbors, friends or family), it so happens that both my SO and I were taught as kids that doing that is RUDE. And we're not anomalies either, in fact in my entire 50+ years of life I've only met ONE person who thought that "just dropping in" was acceptable behavior. But I do realize that some people view it as a friendly gesture. Different strokes for different folks! Again IMO this is NOT a matter of the "right" or "wrong" way to behave: It's either personal preference or the way you were raised, and I'd hope that any adult would respect that everyone's entitled to their own opinion/preference about that too, without being labeled either a "sociopath" or a "rude busybody" because of it.
EXACTLY. Sorry about the misunderstanding. To be honest, I don't want my neighbors barging into my kitchen all the time either. I'd never get any work done. The sociopaths I am referring to are the ones who don't know who their neighbors are, don't want to know who their neighbors are, and would probably step over the neighbor's dead body on the way to the mailbox.
Well, knowing that your neighbors are crack addicts would be useful information, don't you think?
I don't need to knock on their door with a Bundt cake to know that...
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You have crack addicts next door?? Sounds like you need to move to an area with better neighbors!
Oh, so we should only knock on the doors of NICE neighbors, huh? I'll remember that.
Sometimes in life, we are exactly where we need to be...
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Not getting to know your neighbors is benifical how?
A non sequitur, but I'll indulge you this once ...
NOT getting to know them is beneficial because
You don't blab important and private information to them, thus putting yourself at risk
You don't have leeches coming over for everything under the sun
There will be no hard feelings when you two get into the inevitable argument
One less entry to clog up your iPhone
One less person to send birthday and Xmas cards to
One less Jones to keep up with
Your lawn mower and tools will remain yours
Your wife / husband will remain yours
Your privacy will remain yours
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