If you moved away from family,how was it? (Charlotte: condo, vacation home)

[tpr]

it almost seems like a good kind of jealousy.every one wants to do what we are doing but are afraid.i was to in the beginning but once we started realy looking into this it wasn't that hard to make a decision.we said the same things they are saying like "i can't leave all my family is here" etc. but everything is positive now and they can't wait to visit us . plus we'll be back for christmas and once in the summer. we'll probaly see them more when we move than now 700 miles away.

[Jewels36]

I think we actually see our family more now that we moved. We visit them often and they visit us several times a year as well. When we visit (or they visit), we actually spend much more quality time together because it is a vacation and we do not have other distractions. The visits are all about visiting and nothing else. A lot of our visits back home often involve a huge family get together that we would not have normally had if we were living there. We see family members that we normally only saw at Christmas.

There is also the phone, email, snail mail, and pictures to keep in touch in the meantime.

It is great if you can live in one place and get everythig you need from that area but that is not always possible. Some places offer lots of family near by but horrible conditions for raising "your" own family. When that is the case, the obligation is to "your" own family, at least IMHO. The adults will adjust and survive. The children need to come first.

[mindync]

Originally Posted by Jewels36

When that is the case, the obligation is to "your" own family, at least IMHO. The adults will adjust and survive. The children need to come first.

I agree. We could have stayed in OK and OK isn't a bad place. But here our kids can go to so many more places to experience history and nature and beauty. We can take them to the mountains one weekend and the beach the next.

Kids learn best when they have had many experiences to draw from. For example, it's much easier to learn about sea creatures when you have SEEN them...it's easier to remember mountain ranges when you have been there, or details from the war when you have toured the areas. I also believe when you show kids there is a whole world out there, they have more ambition to do well in school, get a great education, and then go and do whatever they set their mind to. I hate to see it when kids don't know there is life beyond their own backyard. I guess it is the teacher in me....

[momof2boys]

Well said, mindync

[mmdj43]

Originally Posted by jerseymom

I also come from a very close knit family (and none of them are happy about this move!). My husband and I just feel we have to do what's right for our IMMEDIATE family. And I'll echo the other posts "it feels right"!

We feel the same way. We want more for our daughter. We are living comfortably on Long Island, but my fear is that one day my husband could be laid off from his job and then we would have to scramble to figure out how long we can keep our home before being forced to sell it. I don't ever want to be in that position which is why I finally told my husband one day that we should make the move. As much as I know that it won't be easy leaving our family here, we are the ones that have to pay the bills.

[silverwing]

Originally Posted by AM210

My family doesn't understand why anyone would move out of state.They believe that you do your best to stay near family no matter what.

Well, I was glad to put a greater distance between myself and some of my relatives

That being said, Spouse and I are of just too different a mindset from our folks. It probably has to do with us being childfree, but we saw no reason to root ourselves in one spot. And the Midwest is no place for people with restless spirits. Here in this part of the country, we've never been bored.

Our families are the opposite, happy to be rooted in one spot, and think the distance is too great to travel to see us ("well, you guys are the ones who moved away.") We finally laid down the law: the road runs both ways, and told them that they'll have to make the trip down here. After all, how many times can you visit the St. Louis Arch or one of the riverboats on the Mississippi? It's just beyond our ken that we live in such an interesting part of the country, they live in Stick-in-the-mudsville, and they aren't interested in taking advantage of our hospitality to get a chance to see something different

[ITChick]

Silverwing,
I noticed you mentioned you're CF. Can I PM you with a few questions that are beyond the scope of this board (CF stuff about the NC area)? Thanks!
-itchick

[silverwing]

Originally Posted by ITChick

Silverwing,
I noticed you mentioned you're CF. Can I PM you with a few questions that are beyond the scope of this board (CF stuff about the NC area)? Thanks!
-itchick

No problem. Be glad to assist

[just_sayin']

well I'm back from being "Banned" for no reason at all (I'm not just saying that, i got the message that siad "You have been banned for the following reasons: none, ban will be lifted June 14 2006". This coming shortly after I got "familyof3" banned for being a troll. Anyways, I'm probably the last person you'd want advice from and sort of the odd ball out here. While everyon here has stated they miss their families but feel they made the right choice for their immediate family, I am moving home to be near my "extended" family (which includes my parents so I don't really think of it as extended", and for what I consider better for my immediate family. Granted, I'm moving to a relatively affordable place, even compaired to NC, while most on this forum are moving from very expensive places.

[NYer]

I appreciate your viewpoint. Who wants to hear only the upside when making such a momentous decision?
Welcome back.