NEPAs Own Off-Topic Thread ( family, home, photos) (eat, yard)

[I LOVE PA!]

George...hate to say it but looking outside tonight...wel...it's nothing but DARK. It was a very cloudy, overcast, dark kinda day. There was about 5 minutes of (kinda) sunshine.

Your pics are fabulous!!

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by I LOVE PA!

George...hate to say it but looking outside tonight...wel...it's nothing but DARK. It was a very cloudy, overcast, dark kinda day. There was about 5 minutes of (kinda) sunshine.

Your pics are fabulous!!

I don't know if you saw it, but I put a post on the NEPA Cookin' thread the other day that's gotta link to HUNDREDS of Holiday recipes in Mrs. Claus's Cookbook!!!!

[rockky]

Summering, I'm glad to see your little guy's tubes went in easily.

The moon put on quite a show here at the DE beach. It's H U G E!

JG, I looked at site you posted. It's really got a lot of nice stuff!

[Jungle George]

When I'd take Chica out for a walk in the morning, I'd see this beautiful hawk sitting on the wire 15 feet above my head (probably thinking how he could get at that little "tasty morsel" with the big, bad human attached)

After seeing him a few times, I kept taking the camera with me & (of course) he wouldn't be in "his spot" so I stopped taking the camera.

Today, there he was, so I ran back & got the camera & at the moment I pressed the button, he took flight!!

He's real pretty!! He's white & grey & his chest reminds me of the old English king's ermine cloaks...white with black (or dark brown) spots!!

Oh well, here's the pic...hopefully I'll get one of him BEFORE he takes flight next time...

[Jungle George]

Christmas Party's ( If anyone has any this year)....



As the Christmas Holidays begin, I wanted to pass these tips along to
you.
Enjoy the spirit of the festivities.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You
cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for
me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you' ll need after circling the buffet table
while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies or pralines in the shape and size of Santa,
position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can
before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair
of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with th e
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;
start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally
worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great Christmas season!!

[lialleycat]

JG, I see your "Christmas Party Tips" and raise you an "Italian Christmas Eve" Warning, this is a long one!


I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parent's house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays. I thought my mother and my date would hit it off like partridges and pear trees. So, I was wrong.

I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the invitation. "I know these family things can be a little weird," I told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun on Christmas Eve." "Sounds fine to me," Karen said.

I had only known my mother for 31 years when I told her I'd be bringing Karen with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really looking forward to meeting all of you." "Sounds fine to me," my mother said. And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me. What more could I want?

I should point out, I suppose, that in Italian households, Christmas Eve is the social event of the season -- an Italian woman's raison d'etre. She cleans. She cooks. She bakes. She orchestrates every minute of the entire evening. Christmas Eve is what Italian women live for. I should also point out, I suppose, that when it comes to the kind of women that make Italian men go nuts, Karen is it. She doesn't clean. She doesn't cook. She doesn't bake. And she has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being. I brought her anyway.

7 p.m. - we arrive. Karen and I walk in and putter around for half an hour waiting for the other guests to show up. During that half hour, my mother grills Karen like a cheeseburger and cannily determines that Karen does not clean, cook, or bake. My father is equally observant. He pulls me into the living room and notes, "She has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being."

7:30p.m. - Others arrive. Uncle Ziti walks in with my Aunt Mafalde, assorted kids, assorted gifts. We sit around the dining room table for antipasto, a symmetrically composed platter of lettuce, roasted peppers, black olives, salami, prosciutto, provolone, and anchovies. When I offer to make Karen's plate she says, "Thank you. But none of those things, okay?" She points to the anchovies. "You don't like anchovies?" I ask. "I don't like fish," Karen announces to one and all as 67 other varieties of foods-that-swim are baking, broiling and simmering in the next room. My mother makes the sign of the cross. Things are getting uncomfortable.

Aunt Mafalde asks Karen what her family eats on Christmas Eve. Karen says, "Knockwurst." My father, who is still staring in a daze, at Karen's chest, temporarily snaps out of it to murmur, "Knockers?" My mother kicks him so hard he gets a blood clot. None of this is turning out the way I'd hoped.

8:00p.m. - Second course. The spaghetti and crab sauce is on the way to the table. Karen declines the crab sauce and says she'll make her own with butter and ketchup. My mother asks me to join her in the kitchen. I take my "Merry Christmas" napkin from my lap, place it on the "Merry Christmas" tablecloth and walk into the kitchen. "I don't want to start any trouble," my mother says calmly, clutching a bottle of ketchup in her hands. "But if she pours this on my pasta, I'm going to throw acid in her face." "Come on," I tell her. It's Christmas. Let her eat what she wants." My mother considers the situation, then nods. As I turn to walk back into the dining room, she grabs my shoulder. "Tell me the truth," she says, "are you serious with this tramp?" "She's not a tramp," I reply. "And I've only known her for three weeks." "Well, it's your life", she tells me, "but if you marry her, she'll poison you."

8:30p.m. - More fish. My stomach is knotted like one of those macramé plant hangers that are always three times larger than the plants they hold. All the women get up to clear away the spaghetti dishes, except for Karen, who, instead, lights a cigarette. "Why don't you give them a little hand?" I politely suggest. Karen makes a face and walks into the kitchen carrying three forks. "Dear, you don't have to do that," my mother tells her, smiling painfully. "Oh, okay," Karen says, putting the forks on the sink. As she reenters the dining room, a wine glass flies over her head, and smashes against the wall. From the kitchen, my mother says, "Whoops." I vaguely remember that line from Torch Song Trilogy. "Whoops?" No. "Whoops is when you fall down an elevator shaft."

More fish comes out. After some goading, Karen tries a piece of scungilli, which she describes as "slimy, like worms." My mother winces, bites her hand and pounds her chest like one of those old women you always see in the sixth row of a funeral home. Aunt Mafalde does the same. Karen, believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, bites her hand and pounds her chest. My Uncle Ziti doesn't know what to make of it. My father's dentures fall out and chew a six-inch gash in the tablecloth.

10:00p.m. - Coffee, dessert. Espresso all around. A little anisette. A curl of lemon peel. When Karen asks for milk, my mother finally slaps her in the face with a cannoli. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Karen, believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, picks up a cannoli and slaps my mother with it.

"This is fun," Karen says. Fun? No. Fun is when you fall down an elevator shaft. But, amazingly, everyone is laughing and smiling and filled with good cheer - even my mother, who grabs me by the shoulder, laughs and says, "Get this ***** out of my house."

Sounds fine to me.

THE END
If you aren't in stitches by now, you don't know Italians!

[I LOVE PA!]

JG...great post...I printed it our for all to read!

[Summering]

Aren't they funny............and so true.
I know the first thing to greet me will by my cousins Egg Nog Punch. But, it is the only time of year, or ever that I touch the stuff. I hate Egg Nog..........but there is something good in having the Cool Whip added and cinnamon.......Something strange happens........gosh, darn, stuff tastes reallllll good.

[Summering]

Originally Posted by rockky

Summering, I'm glad to see your little guy's tubes went in easily.

The moon put on quite a show here at the DE beach. It's H U G E!

JG, I looked at site you posted. It's really got a lot of nice stuff!

Thanks...........tubes went well. Christmas pagent went fantastic....and today I did a good deal of Christmas shopping. Took off real early.........
I had my list in hand and I did a good 90% of it. Love those lists!
Getting ready for a couple of Christmas Parties coming up. I love this season....and I think I'll follow JG plan. Just enjoy everything until January...

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by lialleycat

JG, I see your "Christmas Party Tips" and raise you an "Italian Christmas Eve" Warning, this is a long one!
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LOLOL!!! I just sent it to all my Italian friends!!