Recommendations/suggestions on where in NOVA are good places for the straight male love-shy to find nice girls? (Arlington: to move, activities)

[CAVA1990]

Have you tried asking your doctor about a prescription that might help you? I believe Paxil works on social anxiety. I'm not joking - I know people who've gotten past stage fright/fear of public speaking by taking it.

[Back to NE]

You may be interested in Single Volunteers of DC (svdc.org). Pretty self-explanatory. I'll be going to the Bach concert in Tenleytown DC on Sunday, they still need more male volunteers, so perhaps you want to come out. Baroque music, snow on the ground and single folks in the Christmas spirit!

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by Back to NE

You may be interested in Single Volunteers of DC (svdc.org). Pretty self-explanatory. I'll be going to the Bach concert in Tenleytown DC on Sunday, they still need more male volunteers, so perhaps you want to come out. Baroque music, snow on the ground and single folks in the Christmas spirit!

Thank you for mentioning the exciting idea...event sounds like it could be a lot of fun to volunteer at! I will be check out the website you had recommended

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

Have you tried asking your doctor about a prescription that might help you? I believe Paxil works on social anxiety. I'm not joking - I know people who've gotten past stage fright/fear of public speaking by taking it.

Yes, my doctor has prescribed some anti-anxiety meds that I've been taking for a while. They have been very helpful so far.

[jenniferprestia]

Has anyone suggested (have you tried) Meetup? (meetup.com) I know for a fact that single females go to that (my DD is one).

My other suggestion maybe completely off base, but I'm wondering once you get over your initial shyness whether you are trying too hard to make that connection?

Ultimately, none of the girls I dated ended up willing to try to give me a serious chance at a relationship with them.

That's an unusual comment to make about a dating pattern that has only stretched to 2 dates, so I'm wondering if you are scaring them off, hence the 2 date maximum. I don't mean play games with them and pretend not to like them if you do, but lots of women find men who start discussing long term commitments on the second date a trifle creepy.

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by Alicia Bradley

I ♥ introverts (and am one myself) but am already spoken for (by an adorable introvert I met online in a special interest community). (And, for the record, I'm not offended by "girls" - it's sort of the female equivalent of "guys," I think.)

Hmm... my brother's single, and my sister met her husband at some kind of fundraiser event in Chicago. He was very gregarious and approached her with some cheesy line that almost scared her away, but he turned out to be a really cool guy and they got married a couple years later.

The guy who was able to win your heart definitely sounds like a very fortunate person indeed to have you, since you really seem like a very nice girl Good luck & best wishes to you guys!

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by jenniferprestia

Has anyone suggested (have you tried) Meetup? (meetup.com) I know for a fact that single females go to that (my DD is one).

Thanks for the advice Jennifer. I think Tone509 may have recommended it...I definitely plan to check out the site when I have a moment.

Originally Posted by jenniferprestia

My other suggestion maybe completely off base, but I'm wondering once you get over your initial shyness whether you are trying too hard to make that connection?

That could certainly be a legitimate issue...ultimately my objective is to try to make them like me more, and to be a nice and respectful person, but I can see how "trying too hard" may negatively impact such attempts. Interesting -- I hadn't quite thought about it that way before.

Originally Posted by jenniferprestia

That's an unusual comment to make about a dating pattern that has only stretched to 2 dates, so I'm wondering if you are scaring them off, hence the 2 date maximum. I don't mean play games with them and pretend not to like them if you do, but lots of women find men who start discussing long term commitments on the second date a trifle creepy.

I haven't mentioned anything about a long-term commitment on a second date so far (envision that as much further out), but am ideally only interested in dating girls where I feel the potential for to build toward a long-term relationship could in fact be there. Not looking for any casual or short-term relationships. But I really hope I'm not coming across as "creepy", or scaring them off...that's the absolute last thing I'd want to do.

[arielmina]

I have to say two things:

1. I'll bet dollars to donuts that your lack of confidence is holding you back. You sound a bit down on yourself, very focused on your failed dating (though I know that's the point of this post). I am worried that you are coming off as desparate or trying too hard in your dates.

2. Don't worry about whether this one date will lead to marriage or not, just have a good time. You never know, this person might be someone that once you get to know them, they appeal more and more to you. Also, who knows, maybe they'll have a friend they want to introduce you too.

I know it's hard to not act desparate when you're feeling that way...but IMHO that is the number one biggest turn off to a woman. I want to be with someone who is happy and independent, not dying for companionship.

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by arielmina

I have to say two things:

1. I'll bet dollars to donuts that your lack of confidence is holding you back. You sound a bit down on yourself, very focused on your failed dating (though I know that's the point of this post). I am worried that you are coming off as desparate or trying too hard in your dates.

2. Don't worry about whether this one date will lead to marriage or not, just have a good time. You never know, this person might be someone that once you get to know them, they appeal more and more to you. Also, who knows, maybe they'll have a friend they want to introduce you too.

I know it's hard to not act desparate when you're feeling that way...but IMHO that is the number one biggest turn off to a woman. I want to be with someone who is happy and independent, not dying for companionship.

Excellent and valid points. Thank you for the valuable feedback arielmina.

[leighland]

My shy friends meet available, mature girls through Young Adult Groups at Catholic Churches such as [URL="http://www.arlingtondiocese.org/yam/young_adult.php"]this one[/URL] and thru interest groups such as political stuff. All the big foundations in DC, such as Heritage, Brookings, Cato, etc.. sponsor lectures and talks with food and discussion afterward- great opportunity to make friends and possible dates.
My DH was very very shy and we met at Church. BTW, now that he's a happily married man with a family, he has a lot more confidence and is not shy anymore, just quiet. (But I knew he'd grow to be that way when I first met him ).
God Bless! The shy ones are the best!