And One For The Guys
It's great to be a man because...
1. ...a five day holiday requires one overnight bag
2. ...phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
3. ...queues for the bathroom don't exist
4. ...you can open all your own jars.
5. ...when clicking through the channels you don't have to stall at every shot of someone crying.
6. ...you don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around.
7. ...you can go to the bathroom without a support group.
8. ...when your work is criticised, you understand that everyone doesn't secretly hate you.
9. ...you get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
10. ...you never have to clean a toilet.
11. ...you can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
12. ...you save time and money by washing up in bulk every third week.
13. ...wedding plans take care of themselves.
14. ...if someone forgets to invite you to something, it means that they forgot to invite you. It doesn't mean that they hate you, and he or she can still be your friend.
15. ...you don't have to shave below your neck.
16. ...none of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
17. ...you don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
18. ...if you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
19. ...biological clock? What's that?
20. ...chocolate is just another snack.
21. ...flowers fix everything.
22. ...you never have to worry about other people's feelings.
23. ...reverse parking is easy.
24. ...window shopping is what you do when you buy windows.
25. ...Michael Bolton does not exist in your universe.
26. ...if you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends and they won't try and work out what the problem is.
27. ...dieting involves getting regular sized fries with your burger.
28. ...you don't have to clean your house if the meter reader's coming by.
29. ...car mechanics tell you the truth.
30. ...you don't give a rat's ass if no-one notices your new haircut.
31. ...you can quietly watch a game on TV with a buddy for hours without ever thinking he's mad at you.
32. ...one mood, all the time.
33. ...gray hair and wrinkles add character.
34. ...the remote control is yours and yours alone.
35. ...you have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
36. ...you don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
37. ...your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "so... notice anything different?"
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