Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Two guys leave the bar one evening after having quite a few, when they see a dog licking himself. One of the guys says to other man I wish I could do that, and the other said me to but the dog would probably bite me.
A lady discovered a drip under the sink and called a plumber to come and repair it. She told the plumber who was an acquaintance of hers, "I have to run a few errands but I'll leave the door unlocked. I have a large pit bulldog but if you ignore him he won't bother you. But I have a parrot that is very dangerous. You must not talk to the parrot under any circumstances. He assured her that he would not.
When he entered the house the dog did not object, so he started working on the pipes. The parrot began screaming at him very loudly, cursing and swearing and calling him names. After about fifteen minutes the man could take it no longer, and he shouted, "Shut up, you stupid bird!"
Once upon a time there was a talking dog named Rover who would always accompany his master to the local bar. One day while they were there the master ran out of cigarettes and the vending machine was broken, so he gave Rover 3 dollars and sent him out for a pack of cigarettes. Thirty minutes later Rover had not returned, so the man went outside to look for him. There was a big commotion down on the corner. When the man got there he saw Rover in the middle of the street copulating with a female dog. All the traffic had stopped and people were standing around watching and laughing.
The man yelled, "Rover, you've never embarrassed me this badly."
During the war there was a reluctant hero who badly wanted to fail his medical. He limped in and stated that he had one leg shorter than the other. He was passed in A1 condition.
"What do you mean A1 condition?" said the reluctant hero. "I told you that I have one leg shorter than the other!"
"That's alright sonny," said the medical officer, "where you're going the ground is uneven anyway!"
A lady heard about a rare breed of dog called the Mexican Hairless dog, and she wanted one in the worst way. She pestered her husband incessantly to find one for her. After weeks of searching, he gave up and got her a miniature schnauzer instead.
She was very dissatisfied with the schnauzer. But she got the idea to remove all the hair from the dog and tell her friends that it was a Mexican Hairless. She went down to the pharmacy to get a tube of Nair hair remover. The pharmacist who was an acquaintance of hers said, "This is a good product, but it may cause some redness and discomfort under your arms."
She said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
He said, "Well, if you put it on your legs you may experience some chaffing and a mild rash for a few days."
She said, "It isn't for my legs either. I'm going to put it on my schnauzer."
He said, "You won't be able to ride that Honda again for a month."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Mexican Hairless Dog
