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I'm 48 and my mother still worries when I get into the car to drive long distances. I have to let her know where I'll be and a phone number (duh, Mom, I have a cell phone!!), what time I'll be leaving, and promise to call when I get there.
I agree it shoudn't be an issue, because you pay for the car's upkeep, it's a short drive, your mom knows everyone you'll be with. If you were my kid, I'd let you go.
Keep working on your mom. Promise to call her when you get there. Heck, promise to call every day. Call her when you leave to return home. Let her know exactly what you'll be doing the whole time. The whole time, act as if it's a done deal, that you're going no matter what. Be confident. If she still objects, but you really want to go, say something like "I'm sorry you don't agree, Mom, but I believe I'm ready for this step." And go. She probably won't mind as much as you think she will.
But don't say that "so-and-so is allowed to drive 800 miles away ..." Mothers hate that!
I don't think you should go unless you can talk to your mother frankly about the trip and if not get her enthusiastic approval at least not incur her wraith.
As a 19-year old, working, attending school, and paying bills, you can make a good argument for your maturity, and how the trip will enhance your ability to be a grown-up in a grown up world.
Make a list of all the positive reasons for you to go; and a list of those reasons your mother claims are not good reasons--talk to her point by point, and I hope she'll see that it is time to let you fly.
And, yes, calling and letting her know your are safe is probably way up there on the list of promises to be made and kept on taking the trip.
b/c i want to be able to sit down after i get back if u know what i mean.
Are you saying that your mother is going to hit you when you get back if you go without her permission? If so, you've not bigger problems than not being able to take a road trip.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow
b/c i want to be able to sit down after i get back if u know what i mean.
Are you saying that your mother is going to hit you when you get back if you go without her permission? If so, you've not bigger problems than not being able to take a road trip.
not to that extent (just kidding), but i can imagine there will be reprecussions if i go without her permission, after all i still live in her house.
Whew! Glad you cleared that up. You do live in her house, but if you're as mature and responsible as you claim to be there's no reason you can't take a road trip.
To put it all in perspective, people your age are fighting in Iraq this very minute. You're a man now, not a child. If your mom doesn't recognize that, it's time to break it to her kindly and respectfully. I'm not sure what sort of repercussions you would face, but if she kicks you out of the house over it, it was probably time to go anyway.
Sounds Like Your Mom Is Having A Hard Time Seeing You As A Young Adult.
Even though you are 19, it seems like your mom is having a hard time seeing that you are coming into your own as an adult. I honestly don't think that she fears that you would do anything wrong. I think what she fears is that your visit might prompt you to want to move out on your own. I think she has to understand that it is not the visit that might prompt you to move, it is her unwillingness to let go of you that will..
If she is that worried about your safety, I would not go by car. How about a short airplane ride? Someone could pick you up at the airport. Our son is 18 and we still worry about him. He works late and we worry, it is only natural. We did not let him go to Mexico with his class last year and we wont let him go this year either. There are 19 and 20 year old young men dissapearing all the time, not just young women. I am sure you are very capable of making the trip, it just seems to me there are more preditors among us today.
I think you need to promise to call her at certain intervals during the drive and once or twice per day while you're there. Let her see that you're going to conduct yourself in an adult manner------ I don't know that I would even give her the option to stop you. Just tell her you're going, you'll call from Point A, Point B and when you get there. And during your visit every day at 5PM and same calls on the way back.
All I can say is I hope my 14 year old son is as responsible, caring, eloquent and mature as you seem to be when he's 19. I'll be very proud if he is.
So what's the latest on this? Are you going to be able to work this out with your Mom?
<inquring minds want to know>
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Sounds Like Your Mom Is Having A Hard Time Seeing You As A Young Adult.
