Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If she's throwing the "I'm 18 and legal" in your face, you throw back "and you ain't gonna pierce your self, tatt yourself etc. while you live at home and if you don't like my rules: here's the door."
Why are parents so afraid of their children reactions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
Some parents want their children to stay at their house a few years past 18. Saying "As long as you live in my house, you live by my rules" is a sure fire way to have a kid take you up on the "here's the door." YOU might be totally happy watching your 18 year old hit the streets before being ready to take care of him/herself OR you might think your child wouldn't head out the door. But there are parents who know better than to pressure their children into moving out too soon. There's such a thing as choosing your battles. Just because a parenting style is different than yours doesn't make it wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach
If an 18 year old that is dependent on their parents for support is willing to throw that away to have a face piercing or whatever, then that's a decision that they make. "Do I want to remain home with my needs met until I am able to move out on my own or is this piercing so important to me that I'm willing to completely alter my lifestyle to have it?" As an 18 year old, they should be able to weigh the pros and cons of a potential decision and decide which is more important to them. Putting them into the position of having to make that decision does not make the parents ogres.
I don't think it's a question of parents being happy to see their 18 year old put something like this ahead of their greater well being and leaving the home but again, it's a choice that the kid gets to make. If they don't like the house rules, they are free to set up their own home and do whatever they want.
I can understand that some parents say "It's not a big deal to me" but the fact is that it is a big deal to some parents. You may not understand or relate to that in any way but that is the other parents' reality and as aghast as you are that they would battle over such a thing, they would be aghast at those who let their kids do this at that age. It's all about how you run your home.
I was merely answering Sawdustmaker's question! LMAO!
Of course you as the parent should have the last say. But i think people mean by it not being a big deal is because it doesn't hurt anyone. What you get is parents who don't personally like the look feeling their kids shouldn't either. Yes it is your house and your rules...but do you really want to damage a relationship over something so silly?
This is exactly what I mean. You see this as silly; some people do not see it that way. You may have a particular rule in your home that others think is silly but to you it's very real and not negotiable. Nothing wrong with that. All I'm saying is that there are very conservative parents who would say "If you want to pierce yourself in the face and get tattoos you can do that when you're not living in my house." Call it stupid, silly, be baffled by it, laugh at it, call it horrible or whatever you'd like but that will not change the parents' mind if that is how they run their home.
That's why I say it's a kid's choice to make. I am thinking of my own parents and some of my siblings who are parents. They would say "Don't come home with your face pierced up or full of tats or you will be on your own very soon." Whether I agree with that or think it's stupid and a battle left alone does not change that reality in those families.
This is exactly what I mean. You see this as silly; some people do not see it that way. You may have a particular rule in your home that others think is silly but to you it's very real and not negotiable. Nothing wrong with that. All I'm saying is that there are very conservative parents who would say "If you want to pierce yourself in the face and get tattoos you can do that when you're not living in my house." Call it stupid, silly, be baffled by it, laugh at it, call it horrible or whatever you'd like but that will not change the parents' mind if that is how they run their home.
That's why I say it's a kid's choice to make. I am thinking of my own parents and some of my siblings who are parents. They would say "Don't come home with your face pierced up or full of tats or you will be on your own very soon." Whether I agree with that or think it's stupid and a battle left alone does not change that reality in those families.
The problem is with kids esp teens you have to give some ground or they will do it anyway...along with other things. And no my rules are fairly normal i think for our families. But if my daughter wants to have tattoos as a teen or piercings even a vch i will let her. I will inform her some people will judge and it sometimes can affect your job. But i understand what you are saying....i have seen parents and kids stop talking over dumb stuff like this though.
I want to get my image the way I want it, I want some control over my life, which is what I am doing.
I am getting my image the way I want it to be.
I hope your OUTSIDE image isn't all you are thinking about. All we've learned from you has to do with the outside. Piercings, bracelets. As I've said before, now is also the time to put some serious thought and effort into becoming a strong, in-control, DIGNIFIED, quality woman. You can "project" all you want but true control of your life comes when you start being responsible for who you are inside.
After having to deal with a 16 year old coming home pregnant a few years ago.....I can truly say that if she had just come home with a piercing or a tattoo....I would've considered myself blessed.
I think we have a tendency as moms to forget that our daughters aren't an extension of us. They are individual people with the right to be who they are. Our only continued requirement is to love and respect them no matter what. I sure will agree it isn't always easy.....but we do live through it.
After having to deal with a 16 year old coming home pregnant a few years ago.....I can truly say that if she had just come home with a piercing or a tattoo....I would've considered myself blessed.
I think we have a tendency as moms to forget that our daughters aren't an extension of us. They are individual people with the right to be who they are. Our only continued requirement is to love and respect them no matter what. I sure will agree it isn't always easy.....but we do live through it.
That is a good way to put it- they are individuals and i do respect and love her-I didn't blow up or anything-I am just not into tattoos and piercings- I am sure a peircing vs a pregnant teen is amuch easier- sorry that you had to deal with that!! What was outcome of your pregnant teen ?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was merely answering Sawdustmaker's question! 
LMAO! 
I'm afraid of you! 
