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Sending a letter like that is presuming to tell the educators their job, and presuming that you, someone else's parent, know what someone else's kid needs. It isn't your call to make, whether David needs "something more" than punishment. You, a parent, are not qualified to determine whether or not David's behavior is concerning. You CAN express that YOU are concerned with what you've heard about David's behavior.
You don't KNOW what's going on, you know only what you've heard third-hand, and some by children whose interpretation skills are not as advanced as grownups. For all you know, it could be that this kid David gets picked on regularly and all of his violence has been attempts to defend himself. Or, he might be mentally handicapped, medicated, and the staff knows perfectly well what his deal is, but it's none of your business, so they won't tell you. The only thing that's your business is that your child got hit.
The staff knows what's going on, they know what to do, they know their job. It's not your place to tell them what they need to do. It IS your place to file a complaint, to let them know, for the record that you are disturbed by the reports you've received about this situation and you'd like it looked into.
And then leave it to the professionals to decide what needs to be done.
The child punched Lisalan's child, kicked him in the stomach, punched and hit several other children.
Why is the parent not qualified to be concerned about his behavior?
The problem is that while the teachers and other school personnel may know what to do, they are not doing it. This is probably due to financial constraints from the administration. This kind of letter puts the administration of the school on notice that they *must* do more.
The letter does NOT tell them what to do either. The parent is not telling them *how* to do their job, just that they are not effectively addressing a problem she is concerned about it.
The child punched Lisalan's child, kicked him in the stomach, punched and hit several other children.
Why is the parent not qualified to be concerned about his behavior?
The problem is that while the teachers and other school personnel may know what to do, they are not doing it. This is probably due to financial constraints from the administration. This kind of letter puts the administration of the school on notice that they *must* do more.
The letter does NOT tell them what to do either. The parent is not telling them *how* to do their job, just that they are not effectively addressing a problem she is concerned about it.
Have a little respect for parents, please.
Dorothy
There is a whole lot of information that we do not know here. We do not know that "nothing is being done about this child's issues". You can not take a child who has problems, get him in a "special" meeting, and expect this child's behavior to turn around immediately. Just because this child's behavior hasn't changed, it doesn't mean that the situation is NOT being addressed.
At least in our state, this is how things work... A child has anger or impulse control issues....he/she is placed on "at-risk" status. By classifying said child as at-risk, the school receives additional funding for anything the child needs, such as counselling, whether the child attends or not, the school district receives this funding. Now here's the real clincher...the children who lash out at this child?...they can also be classified as "at-risk" for anger problem children as well. Guess what? The school district receives extra funding for these children as well. Believe me, whether the schools are actually able to change the behaviors of said children, they are still eligible for the extra funding, simply because they have shown them to be "at risk". Kinda ishy, huh?
There is a whole lot of information that we do not know here. We do not know that "nothing is being done about this child's issues". You can not take a child who has problems, get him in a "special" meeting, and expect this child's behavior to turn around immediately. Just because this child's behavior hasn't changed, it doesn't mean that the situation is NOT being addressed.
At least in our state, this is how things work... A child has anger or impulse control issues....he/she is placed on "at-risk" status. By classifying said child as at-risk, the school receives additional funding for anything the child needs, such as counselling, whether the child attends or not, the school district receives this funding. Now here's the real clincher...the children who lash out at this child?...they can also be classified as "at-risk" for anger problem children as well. Guess what? The school district receives extra funding for these children as well. Believe me, whether the schools are actually able to change the behaviors of said children, they are still eligible for the extra funding, simply because they have shown them to be "at risk". Kinda ishy, huh?
Actually from what was said, I think they are probably doing *something.* In one of the posts the OP talked about a special education teacher being involved with him.
Of course I would not expect a child's behavior to turn around *immediately* even if he is in a program, but I would expect the child to be carefully monitored to prevent this from happening. That might mean an extra aide on the playground and/or the cafeteria actually. The funds for these are not so easy to obtain.
Extra funding from? As far as I know the federal government does not provide funding even when they mandate programs. If your state actually provides such funding, it is not the norm.
The funding for our district came from federal and state funds at the time. Currently, I'm not sure where it comes from, due to cutbacks. You're right Dorthy, I believe they are doing something. Unfortunately, the changes do take time. Working with the other children, however, could only help them later on, as they will encounter "Davids" throughout their entire lives...unfortunately. I totally agree with you on the extra supervision. There are so many children to supervise and so few able bodies to do so....the little buggers are running in every direction! LOL Good heavens, I only had 4 at home to keep track of at one time and even then it could be a challenge.
The funding for our district came from federal and state funds at the time. Currently, I'm not sure where it comes from, due to cutbacks. You're right Dorthy, I believe they are doing something. Unfortunately, the changes do take time. Working with the other children, however, could only help them later on, as they will encounter "Davids" throughout their entire lives...unfortunately. I totally agree with you on the extra supervision. There are so many children to supervise and so few able bodies to do so....the little buggers are running in every direction! LOL Good heavens, I only had 4 at home to keep track of at one time and even then it could be a challenge.
Many times there are several regs to the funding & only certain personnel w/in the school are allowed to admin. procedures. And if the school does not have the licensed personel who qualify for the funding...
And it can take time to get the funding.
On top of that, some states req that certain personnel work in buildings that are not physically attached to the main school building, again, due to laws that go w/ the funding.
And when students go for the pysch exam, they can answer ?'s in a manner that they think should be answered, which may not necessarily be the truth.
And w/ the funding, there is NO WAY a principal or pyschologist would be allowed to talk to another parent about the issue at all. You want a lawsuit? Have a principal talk to a parent about another child in a manner which defames that child's character. THe child could be the devil himself. By LAW, the principal is not allowed to divulge information about that student to another parent.
THe OPs "scenario" is not in the United States.
It's funny as many complain about that one problem student. Well, the school not only has that "one" but many others, on top of all the other students who all have their unique needs & learning styles. It's easy to get angry that the school appears to be doing nothing, but keep in mind, that is not the one & only issue the school is dealing w/ & unfortunately, all the other issues have parents who all think their issue deserves to be forefront. Most parents I know, along w/ myself, have their hands full w/ 3-4 kids. Thus, a couple hundred is something to think about. Still the schools responsibility, but something to think about.
In the middle, education is suppose to be occurring.
It's quite the mess that has been created. Unfortunately, the bullies haven't created the mess
Many times there are several regs to the funding & only certain personnel w/in the school are allowed to admin. procedures. And if the school does not have the licensed personel who qualify for the funding...
And it can take time to get the funding.
On top of that, some states req that certain personnel work in buildings that are not physically attached to the main school building, again, due to laws that go w/ the funding.
And when students go for the pysch exam, they can answer ?'s in a manner that they think should be answered, which may not necessarily be the truth.
And w/ the funding, there is NO WAY a principal or pyschologist would be allowed to talk to another parent about the issue at all. You want a lawsuit? Have a principal talk to a parent about another child in a manner which defames that child's character. THe child could be the devil himself. By LAW, the principal is not allowed to divulge information about that student to another parent.
THe OPs "scenario" is not in the United States.
It's funny as many complain about that one problem student. Well, the school not only has that "one" but many others, on top of all the other students who all have their unique needs & learning styles. It's easy to get angry that the school appears to be doing nothing, but keep in mind, that is not the one & only issue the school is dealing w/ & unfortunately, all the other issues have parents who all think their issue deserves to be forefront. Most parents I know, along w/ myself, have their hands full w/ 3-4 kids. Thus, a couple hundred is something to think about. Still the schools responsibility, but something to think about.
In the middle, education is suppose to be occurring.
It's quite the mess that has been created. Unfortunately, the bullies haven't created the mess
You are absolutely correct here. Even though you might have a child in the 2nd grade and you're hearing about "a" troubled child in school, there are so many of them that it's ridiculous. When my older kids were in school, I was a volunteer pianist for gradeschool, middle school, and high school programs. Many years, I worked with all three. Working in that capacity showed me that I was NOT cut out to be a teacher. You see so much and have to deal with such a vast array of personalities. I was fortunate to only be expected to sit quietly until the teacher and/or aides got their students under control (or removed them from the area).
I have the utmost respect for those working in the educational system. As you said, with all of the disruptions and wide spectrum of "distractions" going on...education is supposed to be occurring! Wow....just wow! LOL
This thread has gotten really long with ideas on how to get help for David, and while I don't think any of the ideas are bad ideas, I think something is being missed here.
Although we have no direct evidence, I still believe that the chances are good that the boys playing "tag" were playing it at the expense of David, not in a friendly way, but a taunting way, and I think the OP should really sit down with her son to get the FULL truth.
After getting the full truth, the OP should have a long talk with her son about how to treat others who are different, what to do when his friends start teasing/taunting/bullying others, how it makes a child who is being teased/taunted/bullied feel, and so on.
This thread has gotten really long with ideas on how to get help for David, and while I don't think any of the ideas are bad ideas, I think something is being missed here.
Although we have no direct evidence, I still believe that the chances are good that the boys playing "tag" were playing it at the expense of David, not in a friendly way, but a taunting way, and I think the OP should really sit down with her son to get the FULL truth.
After getting the full truth, the OP should have a long talk with her son about how to treat others who are different, what to do when his friends start teasing/taunting/bullying others, how it makes a child who is being teased/taunted/bullied feel, and so on.
That is a good idea, but there are a lot of parents out there who think that their kids are perfect and could do no wrong.
This thread has gotten really long with ideas on how to get help for David, and while I don't think any of the ideas are bad ideas, I think something is being missed here.
Although we have no direct evidence, I still believe that the chances are good that the boys playing "tag" were playing it at the expense of David, not in a friendly way, but a taunting way, and I think the OP should really sit down with her son to get the FULL truth.
After getting the full truth, the OP should have a long talk with her son about how to treat others who are different, what to do when his friends start teasing/taunting/bullying others, how it makes a child who is being teased/taunted/bullied feel, and so on.
MY son is the one with the bruise on his face not David
My son says everyone knows David is a bully and HE is the one constantly teasing people. I really think it was an innocent game of tag. However, if it wasn't I guess David got a taste of his own medecine.
MY son is the one with the bruise on his face not David
My son says everyone knows David is a bully and HE is the one constantly teasing people. I really think it was an innocent game of tag. However, if it wasn't I guess David got a taste of his own medecine.
But that again begs the question of why, when everyone knows David is a bully, were the kids playing an "innocent game of tag" with him? I realize your son is the one with the bruise on his face, I am not condoning with David did and the school clearly needs to put something in place in ensure something like this doesn't happen again.
However, I don't believe you've gotten all the facts, that's all.
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