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OP has probably already dealt with the boy at this time, however I wanted to toss something out for this particular issue.
Not really yet. Last night I told him bad day bud. We'll sort it out this morning. After he realized I didn't get the mask, he was actually very helpful (I'm sure he was trying to save the party). He even tried to top up my wine. I think he was trying to get me drunk...
Anyway, he's not going to the party. Or going out tomorrow to mess around with motocross bikes with some of these boys. I'm sure I can find plenty of things to keep him occupied for the weekend. See, yesterday I was going to ground him for a while but I think it's more appropriate to just cancel Halloween for not caring about the school's Halloween rules. I will say something about the texting, I don't really think it qualified for another breaking the rules moment. And I'll have his phone too thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
Is he the class clown or the class smart a--? From your other post I gathered it was the second. If he's a fun, funny guy who goes too far once in a while then I totally cut him a break. But if he's smarting off and doing/saying things that are TOTALLY inappropriate he is washing the roof.
This group of guys are all funny guys. I don't think that any of them individually are the class clown or the class smart a$$ or the.....class a$$hat as someone else mentioned (). The school doesn't have any problems with my son by himself....I think they might think that they can get away with things when there's a few of them (actually, it just draws attention).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sawdustmaker
He thinks, for some reason, he can get away with what he did today. Why does he have no respect?
That's my question too. Last night to start with he wasn't looking overly concerned about it all. Until I ruined his life by telling him I didn't get the mask (really, when was I going to if I even wanted to anyway?). I'm sure that he will say that Halloween was the justification (even though Halloween was the reason for the specific rule to begin with...).
Except this appears to be repetitive behavior. A kid pulling a prank or being silly is one thing. I understand that boys especially can be cut-ups. The thing that is consistent in your posts is your DS is "unconcerned" about the trouble he's continually getting into. With more than one teacher, being elevated to adminstration and still it continues. THAT is what would concern me. That is more than simply being a funny kid who crossed the line.
Also if someone gave my child for detention for texting me during school or even having it in a locker, I would be pissed.
I think we can agree that it's not necessary to text: 'yr gettin th mask yea?' and, when I ignored that, 'daaaaaad i neeeeed th mask tmrw'. Don't text me to whine kid... (and he would have gotten detention if he'd been caught, and I really wouldn't have complained)
The kids can survive a day in school without texting their parents....or having their phone turned on. I've never had a problem getting a message to my children via the school.
Except this appears to be repetitive behavior. A kid pulling a prank or being silly is one thing. I understand that boys especially can be cut-ups. The thing that is consistent in your posts is your DS is "unconcerned" about the trouble he's continually getting into. With more than one teacher, being elevated to adminstration and still it continues. THAT is what would concern me. That is more than simply being a funny kid who crossed the line.
He did become concerned about his conversation problem after the AP called. No more problems with that so far. I'm sure he does care about the trouble, he can look initially unconcerned but when he gets time to think then he becomes more serious - I don't think he will be "unconcerned" today - I'm not sure if that processing time is a problem, or if it's '13' or if it's his personality...
I would also guess that he's not seeing the repetitive behavior side of things. Sure, we can see the overall picture. He might be a little surprised to hear me connecting it to how he hasn't been respectful of other school rules recently (which I will point out) - I won't be surprised if he just thinks that he was messing around on Halloween.
I'm not sure how many kids flouted the Halloween rule (which I'm sure would also influence how seriously son might see it - the attitude that came through in the text messages made it seem like he didn't see a big deal in it). I can say that the AP wasn't looking for a long conversation when he called.
This is true. And really, I can't talk. I managed to find time to do plenty of stupid things with friends. But I do think (this is how I remember it anyway) that I could tell the difference between a good idea, a bad idea, a bad idea that nobody was going to find out about, a bad idea that had some room for anonymity, and a bad idea that was just plain blatant.
(and again, I don't think the AP's phonecall would have bothered me so much if he hadn't called me last week aswell)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jb03
Yeah...this one's not lacking in confidence...We're seeing this fine line too. Thus far, I don't know if it's something to do with 8th grade top dogs but it's looking to be a lot more obvious this year.
You crack me up. You must be a terrific dad. Seriously, your humor and concern is what will get you through the next few years.
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Originally Posted by cheerbaby112
In these instances I would rather have my child have a cell phone on her. Some messages arent even taken down in school.
I really really hope you do not have children.
And how often does something like bombings and shootings occur? We had a bomb threat many years ago when I was in high school. Our school was out in the middle of nowhere. Cellphones weren't invented yet. The school was evacuated, checked out and we went back to our classes. That was back when boys carried their hunting rifles in their cars and trucks parked in the school parking lot.
Don't take yourself so seriously. Honestly, the chance of NEEDING a cell phone during the school day is so remote.
jbo3, the school did what they were supposed to; they took the mask and informed you to pick it up. You did what you were supposed to; you left it there to pick up at your convenience. Too bad it won't be available for the party your son won't be going to because his mask is at school where HE took it.
Sounds like your son is thinking he is on the top of the heap being in 8th grade. Next year he will be at the bottom. That ought to even things out a bit. Right now he lacks maturity and looks to his buddies as his beacon of behavior. It's never good when a pack of 13 year old boys all have the same mentality. They will outgrow this behavior and it too shall pass.
Just don't lose your sense of humor while leading your young man into adulthood.
Yeah, I'm one of the "mean moms" on this one. A) They told the kids NO masks. He got up in the morning, said, "Meh! screw 'em! Me and the guys are bringing our masks anyway! They can't tell me what to do. I don't have to listen. I'm doing what I WANT to do. Screw the rules! " THEN he does it again! He texts you twice....again, breaking the rules. I'm for chores and maybe no party. What rules is he going to defy if he goes? Where is the party? Is is supervised? Will it even matter!? Your crappy mood is totally justifiable. Your kid's being a defiant little brat. Time to show him who's boss. Chores, chores, chores!
I think we can agree that it's not necessary to text: 'yr gettin th mask yea?' and, when I ignored that, 'daaaaaad i neeeeed th mask tmrw'. Don't text me to whine kid... (and he would have gotten detention if he'd been caught, and I really wouldn't have complained)
The kids can survive a day in school without texting their parents....or having their phone turned on. I've never had a problem getting a message to my children via the school.
This would tick me off to no end. He is the one who broke the rules and got it taken away. Then he keeps bugging you by texting because he now wanted YOU to get your day interrupted, stop what you were doing, and schlep down to the school to get the mask that HE got taken away. Really disrespectful of your time. I realize you didn't go (good!) but the fact that he kept texting you thinking you would/should shows he really didn't take the punishment by the school too seriously or realize what he did.
13 year olds can be bone heads for sure. But he needs to learn to respect rules/authority, whether he thinks they are stupid rules or not. I also assume that the mask rule at the school is for security reasons. He needs to really understand that. Kids that age aren't always aware of things that have happened in the past at others schools, etc., or understand the gravity of it and why, unfortunately in this day and age, there have to now be those rules.
Your child can think about what punishment he deserves for breaking school rules and you will rule tomorrow on it.
The child gets to decide his punishment?
While my kids probably would have looooooved this..... "Um yeah. My punishment is having a single cheeseburger, not the double-double."
No! Not on the planet we lived on. I'm the mom. The tall fellow is the dad. The little law-breakers are the children. The people attempting to raise children who will benefit society decide the pnishment.
He did become concerned about his conversation problem after the AP called. No more problems with that so far. I'm sure he does care about the trouble, he can look initially unconcerned but when he gets time to think then he becomes more serious - I don't think he will be "unconcerned" today - I'm not sure if that processing time is a problem, or if it's '13' or if it's his personality...
I would also guess that he's not seeing the repetitive behavior side of things. Sure, we can see the overall picture. He might be a little surprised to hear me connecting it to how he hasn't been respectful of other school rules recently (which I will point out) - I won't be surprised if he just thinks that he was messing around on Halloween.
I'm not sure how many kids flouted the Halloween rule (which I'm sure would also influence how seriously son might see it - the attitude that came through in the text messages made it seem like he didn't see a big deal in it). I can say that the AP wasn't looking for a long conversation when he called.
I just really hope you and hubby are on the same page (if you've a hubby). In reality, it's not the mask that's a big deal, but rather the total lack of respect for authority and rules. It's tough for some of these kids to understand that there are hoops in life one has to jump through. You don't have to like them, but the rules are there for a reason. Believe me, I've got 4 kids of my own....I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "That's just stupid!"......or how many times, I've thought the same thing. Unfortunately, it's also given me the opportunity to share with my kids that some people go too far...do things that are horrible and ridiculous...don't be mad at the rulemakers...be ticked off at the fact that some boneheads did something so stupid that there had to be rules made because of their actions!
You crack me up. You must be a terrific dad. Seriously, your humor and concern is what will get you through the next few years.
Haha. Thanks. I do try to remember to keep a sense of humor and laugh at times - because sometimes the other alternative is to [censored for members who will state that they need to call CPS and have my IP tracked]. Agree?
Quote:
Originally Posted by infipossi
Sounds like your son is thinking he is on the top of the heap being in 8th grade. Next year he will be at the bottom. That ought to even things out a bit. Right now he lacks maturity and looks to his buddies as his beacon of behavior. It's never good when a pack of 13 year old boys all have the same mentality. They will outgrow this behavior and it too shall pass.
I do feel like this 8th grade thing is an important part of it all. He's not causing problems anywhere else. He's not coming home and being a defiant little brat.
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). The school doesn't have any problems with my son by himself....I think they might think that they can get away with things when there's a few of them (actually, it just draws attention).
