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What do I think they'll do? Follow you home & molest your kid there, or bonk you over the head in a parking lot... FFS they're addicts.
I can't believe anyone would even consider endangering their child by exposing him to a room full of addicts talking about how much casual sex they did, how they hurt people, and how terrible they were... and when they're done, everyone applauds!?! Talk about mixed signals.
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Originally Posted by slambango
I know AA is full of alcoholics and many of them are probably addicted to other substances as well. I also know some people show up to meetings just to troll for drug contacts.
I'm not sure which of those is a good influence on children, especially when drug abuse is basically the topic.
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Originally Posted by KylieEve
To each his own I guess. I think they should only be taken as a complete and utter LAST resort.
Can you - either one of you - describe what an alcoholic looks like?
I am 99% sure neither one of you can. I'll do it for you:
Dress: neat, clean, and possibly wearing what you last saw your wife, mother, father, or brother wearing as they went off to work.
Work? yup, mostly employed - truck driver, waiter, dentist, doctor, surgeon, SAHM, grandmother, secretary, CEO, salesperson, teacher, college professor, college student, high school student.
Want a picture? Find every picture of your own family and I can say with pretty good certainty that there is at least one relative who is in trouble with alcohol. Ah, sorry, I didn't use the derogatory term of alcoholic. Street bum. Derelict. Homeless person. Drunk.
My estimate, however, isn't too far out of line with the figures given by Bill C. in a 1965 article in the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol.vii In it, he reports that of 393 AA members surveyed, 31% had been sober for more than one year; 12% had been sober for more than one year but had had at least one relapse after joining AA; 9% had achieved a year's sobriety; 6% had died; 3% had gone to prison; 1% had gone to mental institutions; and 38% had stopped attending AA.
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The success rate calculated through analysis of the 1996 AA membership survey is hardly more impressive. The survey brochure indicates that 45% of members have at least five years' sobriety.
Using the figure of five years' sobriety as the criterion of success, one arrives at an AA success rate of approximately 2.6% to 3.5% (in comparison with the total number of "alcoholics" in the U.S. and Canada). And the success rate is lower than that if one defines "success" as AA does-as lifelong abstinence.
It could be argued that this is an unfair way of evaluating the effec tiveness of AA, and that only "alcoholics" who have investigated AA should be considered.
That's a reasonable argument, but there's evidence that a very high proportion of "alcoholics" have at one time or another checked into AA.
Anyone who has attended many AA meetings can testify that droves of newcomers show up, attend one, or a few, meeting(s), and then are never seen again-the "revolving door effect."
As well, roughly 270,000 individuals accused or convicted of drunk driving and other alcohol-related crimes are coerced into 12-step treatment every year in the United States.viii Based on the sheer numbers of such persons, it seems probable that well over 50%, perhaps as many as 90%, of American and Canadian problem drinkers investigate AA at some time during their drinking careers.
My estimate, however, isn't too far out of line with the figures given by Bill C. in a 1965 article in the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol.vii In it, he reports that of 393 AA members surveyed, 31% had been sober for more than one year; 12% had been sober for more than one year but had had at least one relapse after joining AA; 9% had achieved a year's sobriety; 6% had died; 3% had gone to prison; 1% had gone to mental institutions; and 38% had stopped attending AA.
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You could argue that point all day. There is NO particularly successful program, when it comes down to it. Hardly anybody succeeds in quitting drinking the first time they try to - so the success rate is going to be low no matter what method you're looking at. Relapse is expected, but at some point people "get" it. They may get it through AA, or on their own, or with medication - whatever, at some point you either stop drinking or you die. It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you do.
I fail to see how this is relevant though, with regards to whether or not you should take a child to an AA meeting.
It is not common to see a child at a mtg that does not have child care available. If a child was to be present, most would understand and probably help that person find child care for the next mtg.
And as was so perfectly said: Only by the grace of god (or whatever deity one believes) do I go.
I fail to see how this is relevant though, with regards to whether or not you should take a child to an AA meeting.
Some of the responses don't really garnish a response & are pretty much exactly why some addicts cannot find the inner strength...
For someone who actually does take their child to a mtg where child care is not available, it would be extreme; and unfortunately, could be for either the right or wrong reason. It's not a perfect world but the fact there are outlets out there such as AA is truly a blessing for many.
whatever, at some point you either stop drinking or you die. It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you do.
And for some, this does require completely breaking away from family & friends. I don't think many understand the complexity of having to do such a thing & is also a reason addicts do go back to drinking; it is far easier to drink than break a bad habit or to completely stop talking to a sibling, parent or spouse.
As for the "success rate" (very funny as it is obvious some do not understand the nature of addiction) & I think you may have even written...nothing in AA is designed for a "success rate"...for many addicts who have stayed clean due to AA, you shouldn't even know AA was a strong contributor b/c the very next moment an alcoholic can take a drink.
There is a reason AA/ALANON/ALATEEN do not take outside donations. It is not a promise; it is not a guarantee...
As a responsible parent you need to actively network and create a support system for the welfare of yourself and your children. Humans are social beings and we do better when we have others to help and to help us. No, not everyone has a supportive family but as adults we can make friends and associations to benefit ourselves and our children. Local churches can be a great resource in networking with members of your community.
Some of us are not religious and won't use a church as a babysitting service. Now I am not in need of AA, but I have been in a place where I had literally no one to help me.
Some of us are not religious and won't use a church as a babysitting service. Now I am not in need of AA, but I have been in a place where I had literally no one to help me.
There is no religious denomination to AA. The reason many mtgs are held in churches is b/c churches are willing to open their doors, have the space & many times, rooms already children friendly. Child care that is provided does not include religious activities, etc.
As a responsible parent you need to actively network and create a support system for the welfare of yourself and your children. Humans are social beings and we do better when we have others to help and to help us. No, not everyone has a supportive family but as adults we can make friends and associations to benefit ourselves and our children. Local churches can be a great resource in networking with members of your community.
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Originally Posted by Magritte25
Some of us are not religious and won't use a church as a babysitting service. Now I am not in need of AA, but I have been in a place where I had literally no one to help me.
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Originally Posted by 121804
There is no religious denomination to AA. The reason many mtgs are held in churches is b/c churches are willing to open their doors, have the space & many times, rooms already children friendly. Child care that is provided does not include religious activities, etc.
If you will re-read lifelongMOgirl's post you will see that I was responding to networking at local churches as a possible childcare avenue vs. AA meetings.
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