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Sorry if someone already said this, but just imagine if someone from a different ethnic background or minority group said this. OMG, the uproar it would cause. People would be screaming their heads off even more, if it were a white person saying this. That person would be accused of being racist, and no one would give a second thought to what was said.
I don't understand why Asians get a pass in this country to be able to say such things. Maybe it's because their superior...lol.
In the article, neither "garbage" or The Little White Donkey bothered me as much as the list of things the girls were permitted/not permitted to do. Parents sometimes have really bad moments with their children. It happens, but to me, limiting the girls to certain kinds of activities (only piano or violin, no sports or drama) not only types some interests as more valid than others, but it's also harmful to the girls whose natural talents may lie in athletics or the arts.
And, that's an important lesson Chua learns from her younger daughter, who quits violin to pursue tennis on her own terms. It's the entire crux of the story. What you read in the WSJ article is a compilation of excerpts from the first couple chapters of the book, but there is so much more!
When I read the WSJ article, my interest was piqued because I realized from the memoir's subtitle that Chua would fall victim to her hubris, and I wanted to see how that played out. I remain somewhat surprised that others missed it when the plotline was so blatantly obvious.
I also think it's hilarious that Americans have wrapped themselves around the axle, so to speak, over this book. Post after post at C-D/CNN/WSJ tout western superiority in the reading of emotional cues, and yet we apparently can't recognize the self-deprecating humor in Chua's book unless beaten about the head and shoulders with it. (Yes, that's hyperbole.) Perhaps all that community theater and neighborhood kickball games weren't so effective after all.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 01-21-2011 at 11:37 AM..
I also think it's hilarious that Americans have wrapped themselves around the axle, so to speak, over this book. Post after post at C-D/CNN/WSJ tout western superiority in the reading of emotional cues, and yet we apparently can't recognize the self-deprecating humor in Chua's book unless beaten about the head and shoulders with it. (Yes, that's hyperbole.) Perhaps all that community theater and neighborhood kickball games weren't so effective after all.
You're absolutely right. I played way too much kickball when I was a kid. You're going to really hate this but I also surfed. My parents never forced me to learn to play the violin. Nah. They encouraged me to skateboard. Horrendous. Someone should have called CPS on them.
Yup. All I did was go to college and graduate with honors. Then I became one of those foolish Americans who become self-supporting and pay taxes so what do I know about life? I confess: I'm a Liberal Arts menace to society who is totally clueless. Well, my Asian friends think I'm kind of cool because I know how to play the bongo drums, but that's neither here nor there.
I played kickball, too. A lot of kickball! And I spent many weekends running around the woods behind my house, climbing trees and daydreaming.
I also spent hours and hours practicing the flute, taking lessons, playing in ensembles, and competing. I suspect I practiced just as much as the Chua girls, but I did not achieve the same level of individual success.
Alas, there are only so many hours in a day, so my schoolwork suffered. No honor roll for me. My parents were very involved in their careers and dealing with a struggling sibling when I hit high school and floundered academically. In hindsight, I wish they'd realized what was happening and been more demanding, but I think it's important to take responsibility for my own failures.
After reading Chua's book and pondering it, perhaps a little too much, I have come to believe that there is no one perfect way to raise children -- a point, btw, that I do not think is lost on Chua. I further believe that our children ultimately teach us how to parent them. It's a symbiotic relationship. We push and they resist. We grow. It's a dance, especially between mothers and daughters.
Reading is also a dance, a complex interaction between writer and reader. In the end, I'm glad I picked up "Tiger Mother" because it forced me to confront some uncomfortable truths about myself and my relationship with my children. Chua pushed. I got angry, resisted, and put down the book. I picked it up again, read some more, and wrestled with what she had to say. Ultimately, I grew, and that's what I want to happen when I read.
Reading is also a dance, a complex interaction between writer and reader. In the end, I'm glad I picked up "Tiger Mother" because it forced me to confront some uncomfortable truths about myself and my relationship with my children. Chua pushed. I got angry, resisted, and put down the book. I picked it up again, read some more, and wrestled with what she had to say. Ultimately, I grew, and that's what I want to happen when I read.
With that first sentance I can tell you one thing: You're smart. I also think, if I may say it, you are too hard on yourself. I failed to understand that when I read your last post. Which I misinterpreted to some extent. I'm sorry. I gave you too much of a flippant answer and you didn't deserve that. (I read your post several times and still didn't "get" what you meant. Such is the danger of a message board.)
I think, when all is said and done, the vast majority of mothers try very hard to do the right thing. Looking back always gives us 20/20 vision.
I plan on reading the book but I'm on the waiting list. Behind several Asian mothers who were all raised by Tiger Mothers. I look forward to hearing their comments when they have each finished the book.
I'm glad you grew from reading this book. When all this hoop-la has died down that is what will matter. I think Ms. Chau would be pleased. All of us attempt to grow and learn. All of us hope to not repeat the mistakes of our mothers. Asians. Africans. Caucasians. Everyone.
Ms. Chau is causing all of us to reassess and to think. That can only have positive results.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 01-21-2011 at 06:13 PM..
Some of those rules seem off the wall. Like, playing just the violin and piano? What's wrong with the clarinet or oboe? Or is it so they can't be in the school marching band and go to games?
It's what you get with a one track mind. Just how some parents demand nothing less than getting into an Ivy League.
Dewdrop, I was flippant in that post. You had reason to respond the way you did.
I got a lot out of "Tiger Mother" because it came to me during an introspective time in my life. Others may think her book drivel (hopefully after they've taken the time to actually read it ), and that's okay. It's unfair of me to expect that my response is the one and only correct response.
I'm looking forward to comparing notes with you once you have the book in your hands.
Dewdrop, I was flippant in that post. You had reason to respond the way you did.
I got a lot out of "Tiger Mother" because it came to me during an introspective time in my life. Others may think her book drivel (hopefully after they've taken the time to actually read it ), and that's okay. It's unfair of me to expect that my response is the one and only correct response.
I'm looking forward to comparing notes with you once you have the book in your hands.
I may have to break down and buy it. (Against my religion unless it hits the best sellers list and they mark it down 40%.) I talked with the first friend who is reading it. She said she had to put it down for now so who knows when she'll finish it.
I was talking about this book with one of my brothers. He said he thought WE had a Tiger Mother. And she was Polish! I'm wondering how close to home it will hit for me. I may be in for a bit of introspection myself.
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), and that's okay. It's unfair of me to expect that my response is the one and only correct response.
