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I want to know what you guys think about kids lying to their parents for various reasons:
-Lying to avoid getting in trouble
-Lying to avoid conflict
-Lying to avoid an argument
-Lying to avoid getting a no answer
-Lying to avoid parents being too involved.
I won't say what's sparking this question but do you ever think it's ok for teens/young adults to lie to their parents for any reason?
And what would you do if you found out your teen/young adult was lying to you for any reason?
And I'm talking about 18 and older here, but i'll include 16 and 17 for kicks and giggles.
And we all know where this discussions going because we all know that I would paddle my teen / young adult for lying and you wouldn't.
Oooh ahhh ssss discussion on spanking. Hmm did that just happen on another thread
Hi buddy!
And OK this is soooo not going to turn into a spanking thread.
What if they were afraid to tell you something because they knew you'd be judgmental and mean about something? Or if they were afraid of getting emotionally hurt by telling you?
All I can say is "winner's never cheat" Any of my children get caught lying they know the consequences. They are ground. They have been taught to be honest, they know how disappointed I am in them when they lie which of course makes them feel worse. I believe a lie is a lie and they know that I would rather here them making a mistake with drugs, sex, whatever then have the lie about it. They know as a family we can deal with the truth in the present. But that is just me.
I think lying is pretty much the worst thing a person can do to another person. Whether it is child - parent relationship or just between two people. To me it shows distrust and disrespect.
As an aside, I feel that the justice system almost forces people to lie because the sentences are so draconian. So we have all these lawyers getting fat off defending people. Some of whom should be able to plead guilty, get punishment, and then get on with life.
In the case of a teen / young adult, I see no reason why they should lie especially to a parent. To me there should be a special level of trust and openness between a child and a parent. Surely this is needed to be able to talk about puberty for example. Likewise who else but your child do you drive across town for at 1am to pick them up because they have called to say that they are in a difficult situation. Why should you argue with your child. You are the parent. If you say to do something then they should comply - period. At the same time, you have a responsibility not to antagonise them. So again no need to lie to avoid conflict because there should not be conflict.
I think lying is pretty much the worst thing a person can do to another person. Whether it is child - parent relationship or just between two people. To me it shows distrust and disrespect.
Hypothetical situation: Adult child doesn't tell parents s/he is dating because they know the parent would start problems and become overbearing.
Or
An adult child hides something from a parent for fear of judgment?
Do those situations warrant the kid having poor character?
Yes. You are not a kid...you are 21 years old for pete's sake. As an adult you ought to be able to handle difficult situations without lying.
That you can't do that does reflect a weakness in character and lack of maturity.
Everyone lies at some point in life. Every single teen has lyed to their parent in some way, anyone that says they didn't is....well....lying. With that said, it's never ok. The teen is lying because they know they are doing/did something their parent would not approve of. Parents are here to guide their children and teach them right from wrong, so I don't think a parent here would say it's ok to be lied to.
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