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I also have a son in the Army, he is taking classes now, and plans on using his G.I. Bill for college tuition. But he loves the excitement of being in the military, and the travel. That is an option as well.
Thank you. It is about being realistic. No one "needs" to go away to college if you live in a town with a community college, and public university. Sure, loans would have been nice to have, for car payments, insurance, whatever. But my kids knew our financial situation, and did the responsible thing. They did not apply to go to a fancy school, because, even applications cost money. There is nothing wrong with community college classes. Both of my sons did unpaid internships, which got them their current jobs. Anyone who graduates from college without a job... My sons also worked while in school. They did not have fancy clothes, or cars, or go on spring break vacations. We are not a rich family, why pretend? And we were a team on paying for tuition, they did not expect me to pay for everything, I did not expect them to, we are a family. College was an investment. My sons are independent, and employed. They don't live at home with their Mama now...
I do not think it is irresponsible to take out student loans, if that is the way to get the education.
Your story is an example of how everything turned out well. I especially like that you worked as a team. That is what we did, too, in a different financial situation. We emphasized to our kids that the money was all going into one "pot"; there really wasn't "our" money and "thier" money, per se. That's why we didn't get into who was paying the car insurance, etc. We felt if we said the kids had to pay for a specific expense out of their checking account, we'd just have to pay for something else out of ours. They did, of course, take care of their expenses on campus with their accounts, but we did add to those accounts from time to time. The money was all mixed together; it was never clear just "whose" money it was.
How about keeping it set aside to help them buy a house or start a family or for their children's education? Since they're not going to college they can likely use it.
For the record: the vacation comment implied it was disposible.
How about making sure that you tell them "No" enough times, while they're growing up, so that you CAN put some money aside for them for later?
Well that's not completely true either. My son did get offered a free ride at our local university via an academic scholarship. If he had not been accepted at the college of his choice, there's a good chance he's have been going there instead.
Yes - and you're lucky. Some kids are mature and very driven, very motivated while in high school and will be able to get an academic scholarship based on achievement and not income or anything else at all. You don't hear of too many of those any more.
In regards to the OP:
Parents are on the hook when colleges realized they COULD put parents on the hook for those college bills.
My mother got her Bachelor's for free in the early 70s and her master's for FREE. College education was free. No student loans for her.
Education costs are what they are because the public was sold on the idea that college is necessary (I'm not arguing whether it is or isn't). Businesses (such as colleges) can't squeeze blood from a stone (the unemployed students). Banks would not want to loan money to students with no collateral and no income. Tuition stayed low at many schools due to this.
However, lending regulations were eased and the government began to back student loans lowering the risk to lenders. Now that students had easier access to loaned money, tuition costs could rise.
The fact that FAFSA requires a student to submit their parents' income is such BS. So, now when the student does not get a grant from the school for lower tuition because the parents earn too much money, well, its the parents fault. They should be paying for it. And THAT is the key reason that tuition has outpaced inflation for years. Most adults start college at 18+. Sorry, but that is the age of majority. In eyes of every other facet of society, an 18-year-old is responsible for themselves legally. Why is college education different?
That remark was not personal...please don't take it as such.
Kids want things. We are by no means wealthy and I know very few people, in our locale who are. Kids want "things", some want to be involved in something constantly, some of us WANT our kids to be involved in positive activities. Frankly, all of these "things" and "activities" cost money. For most parents, it can be damn hard to put money away when you're raising a bunch of kids for whom you're constantly doling out money for things and activities, while trying to keep food on the table, running transportation, utilities, cable, internet, WSG, clothes on their backs, etc.
My Mother and I both helped my brother pay for his college education, i'm very glad we did.
He worked and paid for his own apartment, food and car insurance.
There was no way we could afford to do it but we both buckled down and got a second job and we are still alive.
Ironicly he majored in computer science but is currently a general manager for a major tire store
Grew up in a regular middle class town and everyone I know paid for college between some combination of student loans, work and scholarships....
When did this become the parents responsibility?
I do not think it is your responsiblity. Once they are adults they can do as many others have done, hard work.
I am not saying that you cannot help them in some form but the bottom line is that at that point they are adults. As such they can find ways to get their college education if it means a lot to them.
My wife and I did not save a single penny for our daugthers education. Instead of spending much effort in saving for the education we spent time. That is something many parents do not do. We spent a lot of time helping them with homework. We spend countless hours taking them to the library to do research and giving them extra work in areas we felt they needt to improve on.
We encouraged them to volunteer in the community for two reasons, to instill their civic sense in helping others and to make sure they could put community service in scholarship applications, it helps a lot.
On our daughter's senior year my wife spent countless hours looking for scholarships on the computer. She had our daughter sing probably a 100 applications and who know how many essays that were required.
The results? Our daughter got enough money from different scholarships to cover all four years and half of her masters program she will complete this december.
The only thing we did is buy a brand new car and told her that that car was ours, not hers. We bought it for her to use and make sure it did not break down on the road but once she is done with education that care stays with us.
We believe our method covered many areas where we train them for the future. With homework we train them to be punctual and neat in their work. With community service we trained them to have a taste of how it is to work out there with customers and interaction with other people.
Again, in my opinion you are not responsible to pay for their college. We felt we are responsible to help them get the skills to be responsible and proficient citizens. Those skills is what got them through college in a very successful way and we did not spend a single penny paying for their education. We simply did what many do not do, parenting. Take care.
No one is entitled to have a fully funded college education.
I may choose to assist my children in funding their education but it is because it is my choice and not because it is my responsibility or because I owe it to them. But they need to know that they have to work for it too! They should at the very least hold down a part time job to fund their non-scholastic activities.
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