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She sounds like a drama-junkie. I have a friend like that, a complete disaster magnet, most of it completely of her own doing. Sadly I don't think people like that will or want to change, but having a child in the mix is tragic. It sounds as though she should never have gotten married in the first place either. In my situation I interact with my friend, but without my children present. You can suggest counselling, do you think she would take it seriously?
I suggested therapy to her. I even told her about my own experiences with therapy and how it does help in circumstances like hers. I also told her she needs to drop her ex and the lover. Stop having contact with both of them and let her ex focus on his own therapy and getting better. As for the lover, let him repair his marriage and leave him alone.
She just laughs. She called me last night to tell me her ex lost his job over this recent debacle and she thought it was funny! Her daughter was in the background listening and repeating every word.
I had a friend who was making bad parenting decisions via having a dramatic life with loser men.
I eventually had to tell her that I could no longer talk to her until she got her act together.
I told her that I cared about her, I'd still be there for an emergency---a real emergency not the normal drama.
We kept in touch via bi-annual phone calls for a few years. Eventually, she got her life back in order and we started visiting in person again.
Sometimes you need to step away. It sounds like this relationship has come to that for you.
Thank you Hopes! I really appreciate it. I think I am going to have to do it because it pains me to see her harming herself and her family this way. We have always been there for one another but I think getting it off my chest to you guys has cemented what I need to do.
She sounds very cavalier. Could she be depressed, or altered in some other way?
Zimbo I think she is depressed and she is doing a great job in hiding it behind smiles and laughter. And if she is not, then God help her because to be that cavalier makes one wonder.
Mrs. X you said she "changed". People don't change without a reason. As I was reading your post the first thing I thought of was drugs. (Even before you said she changed.) Does she do illegal drugs? What about perscription meds? Especially anti-depressants, sleep agents. Do you know if she's on any of those? She could also have snapped because of the whole sorry drama with her ex. Has she had anything else going on in her family? How's her health? She drink?
She's not having normal reactions. And if something is wrong chemically in her brain, she's never going to understand that she isn't processing correctly. You can talk to her forever and she's never going to listen. She thinks you're the looney.
Meanwhile, I wouldn't get in a car with her and I wouldn't expose my child to her or her child. What a sad situation.
[quote=DewDropInn;19122107]Mrs. X you said she "changed". People don't change without a reason. As I was reading your post the first thing I thought of was drugs. (Even before you said she changed.) Does she do illegal drugs? What about perscription meds? Especially anti-depressants, sleep agents. Do you know if she's on any of those? She could also have snapped because of the whole sorry drama with her ex. Has she had anything else going on in her family? How's her health? She drink?
She's not having normal reactions. And if something is wrong chemically in her brain, she's never going to understand that she isn't processing correctly. You can talk to her forever and she's never going to listen. She thinks you're the looney.
Meanwhile, I wouldn't get in a car with her and I wouldn't expose my child to her or her child. What a sad situation.[/quote
She doesn't do drugs that I am aware of and drinks on social occasions. I have not noticed an increase unless she is hiding it.
Trust me I have no intentions on getting in a car with her anytime soon, that day was the last time.When she went back home I asked her to contact me as soon as she got in because I was worried of her getting into an accident.
You hit the nail on the head regarding your comment on she is not having normal reactions.
I'm sorry to say but she probably is doing drugs of some kind, especially if it's not her normal character to laugh about uncomfortable or sad situations.
Mrs. X there are bound to be other people around her who have noticed how she is acting. Do you know anyone close to her who is in more of a position to sit her down and talk with her and try and get her help. Any family members? Siblings? Parents? Old friends?
Dew--Thats the thing her parents live in the same area as her and they have sat her down and told her she needs help. She told me this when I told her she needs therapy and she just shrugs it off. She takes their advice with a grain of salt.
Hopes---I think she would be more of a closet drinker than drugs. The lover she was with like drinking...
Hopes---I think she would be more of a closet drinker than drugs. The lover she was with like drinking...
My girlfriend was heavy into coke and prescription drugs (died of an accidental overdose). Her boyfriend turned husband was an alcoholic.
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