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We faced the same dilemma, and chose to move. I still feel guilty at times, but I really do think we made the right decision for us. My parents are visiting right now, and having a great time with the kids!
^ This. We moved away from our families in California so my husband could get a better job in Illinois. In doing so, we were able to afford our first home and live in an area we really like. We do miss our families, and so will you, but you've got to put yourselves first.
We moved about 3 yrs ago from WV to SC. We left all of our family behind when we moved. Hubby found a job online, applied and got the interview. He was offered the job and we moved in 2 weeks. We rented a town house when we first got here. We lived in a trailer in WV and my parents sold it for us. We now own (well in 12 more years) a nice brick ranch in SC, 20 miles from the beach. This is where I have always wanted to live. I miss my family a lot. We drive back up to WV a few times a year. My family comes here a couple times a year, it's a free place to stay while they go to the beach
It can be hard. My husband and I only have each other here. We have no baby sitters. I work 8 am to noon and he works 3pm to 10 pm so one of us will always be here with the kids. My dad is getting older and having health problems and I am not able to be there to help. If my car breaks down I can't use my mom's for the day. My hubby is a teacher, so if I call him he would have to leave to let the whole class out early to come get us. I was once at Pizza Hut and my car didn't start after we picked up our pizza. So me, my 10 yr old and 1 yr old walked home. I was so glad I had the stroller with me.
But I love the weather here, my hubby loves his job, we have made a few friends. This is now home. Give it a lot of thought before you jump into anything.
this is what i am kinda scared of that something would happen to my family when we move and that we would not be able to get back to see them. other than that, the not have a babysitter is not that big of a problem being that my husband and i are not that big on going out and even being with in 2 hours of my family and his we only get to go out by ourselves one ever 2 months or so. so we are used to it lol
^ This. We moved away from our families in California so my husband could get a better job in Illinois. In doing so, we were able to afford our first home and live in an area we really like. We do miss our families, and so will you, but you've got to put yourselves first.
julia do you guys like living in the snow and cold ???
julia do you guys like living in the snow and cold ???
It can be a little tiresome, but the other seasons are lovely. Spring and autumn are just beautiful, and even the hot summer isn't too bad, although there were lots of mosquitos last year. It's humid but not as humid as the South, and it's not as cold as some places up north. It did take some adjustment, but after the first winter we were OK. We've been through the coldest winter in like 100 years (our first winter, 2008) and one with record snowfall (this winter), so I figure we're due for some easy ones. Neither was unbearable, though, just cold.
Ok, my problem is this my husband and I are not happy where we are living at this time. there is nothing here for us besides my parents and grandparents and that is what is keeping us here we do not want to take our 3 kids ages 7 4 and 2 away from thier grand and great grand parents. I guess my question is are we doing the wrong thing by making everyone else around us ( like my parents and grandparents) happy by keeping the kids close to them but making ourselves miserable by staying??
Hope to hear what you think!! Thanks.
I would suggest that you first decide *why* you are unhappy with the place you are living in.
Is it the weather? Is it the fact that there are few activities you enjoy? Is it that you have no friends even though you have family there? Is it that your jobs are not satisfactory?
Make a list of pros and cons and see what list has the most.
How far away would you want to move? Make sure that the place you would be moving to doesn't have similar cons to your current area. The grass is always greener when you are looking from afar, but it may be brown close up.
I do agree with others that happy parents make for happy children, so if you really need to move to be happy, you should do it.
I would suggest that you first decide *why* you are unhappy with the place you are living in.
Is it the weather? Is it the fact that there are few activities you enjoy? Is it that you have no friends even though you have family there? Is it that your jobs are not satisfactory?
Make a list of pros and cons and see what list has the most.
How far away would you want to move? Make sure that the place you would be moving to doesn't have similar cons to your current area. The grass is always greener when you are looking from afar, but it may be brown close up.
I do agree with others that happy parents make for happy children, so if you really need to move to be happy, you should do it.
We have done the pros and cons list and we have decided why we dont want to be here yes part is the weather we are not winter people we dont like the cold and snow, it is hard to get the kids outside they are just not into playing in the snow. we do not have many friends well in that case anyfriends in wisconsin becasue all the people that are anywhere around our age (26 and 27) just want to party and drink and were not into that. none have kids so they dont understand that we cant just drop things to do anything when we want so they just quit call which is fine we dont need that. we have a lot of friends in florida which is where we want to go. our kids love the beach and ask us on almost a daily bases if we can go to the beach but then we say yeah and then they cry and cry cause they dont want to leave there grandparents. my husband grew up in florida and we know right now would not be the best time to move but we would not go until i am done with school (i have one year left in nursing school) so i know i could find something when and if we decided to move.
i agree that we have to be happy for the kids to be happy but i dont want anyone to think that are kids are not happy becuase they are great we hardly ever say anything to them about moving because it upsets them and we dont want to do that.
if you dont mind me asking how far from your home state or city did you move?
from California to Colorado. Both sets of grand parents have driven and flown out periodically. We've gone home about once/year to visit. It is getting harder now that the kids are in school and involved in sports and things. But we love it here. I think we found the right place for us.
If your kids quickly find a new better set of friends in your next locale, to replace their old friends, that will make the transition easier. If not, and all you hear for an eternity is: I miss my friends so much, and my grandparents, then it's going to be more problemetic.
You may have to wait years for a big thank-you from them, when they become adults, and they're torn with the same decision to make, move away from the parents/grandparents.
And when that time comes, you will rise to the occasion and tell them: I moved away from my family years ago to be more happy, so don't torture yourself with this decision as I had done, go, go, go! Be happy!
Last edited by tijlover; 03-22-2011 at 08:27 PM..
Reason: edit/change wording
We have done the pros and cons list and we have decided why we dont want to be here yes part is the weather we are not winter people we dont like the cold and snow, it is hard to get the kids outside they are just not into playing in the snow. we do not have many friends well in that case anyfriends in wisconsin becasue all the people that are anywhere around our age (26 and 27) just want to party and drink and were not into that. none have kids so they dont understand that we cant just drop things to do anything when we want so they just quit call which is fine we dont need that. we have a lot of friends in florida which is where we want to go. our kids love the beach and ask us on almost a daily bases if we can go to the beach but then we say yeah and then they cry and cry cause they dont want to leave there grandparents. my husband grew up in florida and we know right now would not be the best time to move but we would not go until i am done with school (i have one year left in nursing school) so i know i could find something when and if we decided to move.
i agree that we have to be happy for the kids to be happy but i dont want anyone to think that are kids are not happy becuase they are great we hardly ever say anything to them about moving because it upsets them and we dont want to do that.
thanks
Have you looked at the schools where you want to move? Imo, the schools in Wisconsin are head and shoulders above the schools in Florida although with the governor decimating things that may not last.
Also, look carefully at the job market in Florida before you move. That is something that you need to watch for since I don't think anyplace is great right now.
Have you looked at the schools where you want to move? Imo, the schools in Wisconsin are head and shoulders above the schools in Florida although with the governor decimating things that may not last.
Also, look carefully at the job market in Florida before you move. That is something that you need to watch for since I don't think anyplace is great right now.
yeah we have looked at the schools in florida and there are some really bad ones but yet there are some really good ones too, i know wisconsin does have some better schools in some areas. the school i went to in wisconsin is one of the worst school there is here so i know how bad they can be. my husband went to school in florida and he went to some pretty good schools.
yeah we have looked at the job market in florida we know its not good right now but on the up side the best way to get a job there right now is in the health field so i think i will not have to much of a problem but we wont be moving for at least a year maybe two because im still in school here and i want to finish.
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Neither was unbearable, though, just cold.
