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Better to post it here so I can respond and we can all comment.
If you start DMing me I'll have to charge you by the hour for my fabulous advice. And I ain't cheap.
(There also isn't enough hair dye in the world to cover up the damage, lol.)
No because Julia will come in with her look, then I'll see I have a new notification from Julia and its never to tell me how much she loves me, its always an infraction of some sort.
In a lot of cultures, love isn't even considered when planning a marriage. It's purely economical or otherwise based on how it would benefit the two parties and their families (or one party and their family) involved.
In a lot of cultures, love isn't even considered when planning a marriage. It's purely economical or otherwise based on how it would benefit the two parties and their families (or one party and their family) involved.
In the past too in "western" culture and across times and places, a lot of marriages as arrangement/compromise between two families often still overpowered choices done "out of love".
Even if not completely forced, families still were involved (and still are) in meddling and some sort of brokering their deal.
After all, even today, many young couples have to "get past" each others' families approval.
There's a reason why Romeo-and-Juliet stories were/are such a basic plot type.
In the past too in "western" culture and across times and places, a lot of marriages as arrangement/compromise between two families often still overpowered choices done "out of love".
Even if not completely forced, families still were involved (and still are) in meddling and some sort of brokering their deal.
After all, even today, many young couples have to "get past" each others' families approval.
There's a reason why Romeo-and-Juliet stories were/are such a basic plot type.
Sure everyone wants their parents approval, they want their parents to love their future spouse but by no means are American young adults not marrying someone just because of what their families think.
My friends parents were iffy of her new fiance but she doesn't care of any of us think and she lets us know everyday how much she doesn't care and how much she loves him and how she is going to be with him no matter what.
My friends parents were iffy of her new fiance but she doesn't care of any of us think and she lets us know everyday how much she doesn't care and how much she loves him and how she is going to be with him no matter what.
The army isn't for everyone.
And do you expect EVERYONE to be able to move out right as soon as they graduate high school and be successful at it?
As a young woman with rather vague goals in life, one of the best suggestions from my father was military service. I was out of the house at 17 and in the Army. It was a life changing experience for me and really molded me into the person I am today. I look at a few of my friends with kids living at home, lounging around the house, and expecting mom to do all the work. My one friend is having a tough time with her 24 year old son contributing nothing, being a slob, playing on the computer all day long, sleeping til noon, and hanging out at his girlfriend's house, partying, etc. Seeking a job isn't at the top of his priority list. At 24, I was in the Army and in charge of my first platoon living in another country.
If someone is having a tough go at things, the Armed Services indeed can be a life changing event. Many years ago, our neighbor's son was having a horrid time at everything. Had been in trouble, was aimless, disrespectful, etc. He enlisted in the Air Force and it turned his lfe around. He didn't make it a career but it gave him life skills, gave him technical training and he grew up to be a very responsible young man, now with a family of his own. He admits that the AF was one of the best things that happened to him. Wasn't easy at first but he did it.
If one of my kids was going down a similar path, I would be the first to suggest military service.
I'm sure that not everyone is capable--if they have a physical or mental disability that would disqualify them from military service. Many young folks are capable though and a bit of tough love would do them wonders in life.
Before you call me heartless, no, I'm not going to kick my kids out of the house the moment they finish high school. I would hope that college is in the future. If they graduate and have troubles finding a job, they are welcome to live with me in a safe environment. But they have to be trying to find a job, at least help a bit around the house (I'm not a maid), and not be a pain in the ass.
My oldest is still in high school, so I can't say exactly what my expectations are yet. Right now, she wants to join the Navy and pursue nursing, and her father and I are supportive and pleased about that.
I lived at home while I was in college. I went to school full-time, had part-time jobs, and helped out around the house. I vacuumed the house, cooked once or twice a week, cleaned the kitchen almost every night, cleaned the bathrooms on the weekend, and took out the trash. I left home when I got married. I had a curfew, although my parents were fairly lenient with it--I think it was 1 or 2 a.m. I did not dare ask to spend the night at my boyfriend's; I was too sleepy to drive once and slept over, and I thought they were going to ... well, it involves bodily producing a brick, if you know what I mean.
I think whatever rules parents set for adult children are fine. It's their house. Don't like it? There's a simple solution: move out.
I agree that many parents make living at home too cushy, and kids have no inclination to move on with their lives. Many are stuck in perpetual childhood and dependence.
My oldest is still in high school, so I can't say exactly what my expectations are yet. Right now, she wants to join the Navy and pursue nursing, and her father and I are supportive and pleased about that.
I lived at home while I was in college. I went to school full-time, had part-time jobs, and helped out around the house. I vacuumed the house, cooked once or twice a week, cleaned the kitchen almost every night, cleaned the bathrooms on the weekend, and took out the trash. I left home when I got married. I had a curfew, although my parents were fairly lenient with it--I think it was 1 or 2 a.m. I did not dare ask to spend the night at my boyfriend's; I was too sleepy to drive once and slept over, and I thought they were going to ... well, it involves bodily producing a brick, if you know what I mean.
I think whatever rules parents set for adult children are fine. It's their house. Don't like it? There's a simple solution: move out.
I agree that many parents make living at home too cushy, and kids have no inclination to move on with their lives. Many are stuck in perpetual childhood and dependence.
Julia, I don't know how old you are but I am going to venture to say things are much different now than they were then when it came to young adults, pre-marital sex and spending the night at his house type of thing.
Also religion takes into effect too but then again I don't know if you are or not.
The reason I am "allowed" to is because my mom told me she knows sex is going to happen, she won't be ignorant with her children and she would rather us be safe and come to her as needed than not be safe and get knocked up/get someone knocked up (my brother is sexually active or was as well). We also are not religious, so there is no religious compass my mom goes by when determining our rules.
She will tell me not at her house under her roof with my 17 year old brother still here but outside of the house is fine.
I wouldn't say I have it cushy here and I wouldn't say I didn't want to move on with my life, when in fact I really do.
Which is why I said earlier in the thread that when I have kids as long as they are doing what they need to do and going into a direction and doing something with their lives, I don't care what they do outside out of the house and at night, but they wouldn't be allowed to just sit around and do nothing, I also wouldn't "take away" privileges or set curfews for them for doing so, it would just be a simple out or get your crap together.
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for my fabulous advice. 
And I ain't cheap.
