I can't wait for this school year to end! (PDD, appropriate, son)
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Wow. I would pay the teacher no heed at all on the ADHD thing. The school psychologist either. If you aren't seeing anything to indicate ADHD at home, leave it alone. I would totally ignore it.
Give your son a pep talk and remind him the year is almost over and keep up the good work and forget everybody else.
There is no need to take him for any kind of evaluation. Normal boys should not be made something they're not just because his bottom isn't in his seat 100% of the time. I think 20% is just right .
Tell the school, 'Thank you for your interest, but I know how to take care of my son.'.
I've had issues before with this woman and I even suggested to the principal that she needs some training in classroom management, because apparently she just goes in there every day and wings it, and it is NOT working!
I'm not sure that this would be the strategy I would implement. I do see some issues in this situation, but I fear that you coming to the principal to tell them how the teacher should run her classroom is taken about as seriously as if the teacher sent you home a list of corrections for how you should be running your household, complete with a recommendation that you take some parenting classes because you were really doing a crummy job, in her opinion. You'd hit the roof, as would I, if that happened. She is not an authority on how you parent your child, and (I say this with all gentleness intended), you have no specialized training or certification in how a professional educator runs a classroom of 25+ diverse learners. It's not as easy as it looks, and it is not the same thing as what you do at home, with your son one on one.
It's like when your in-laws come over and try to list every little thing you're doing *wrong* in the raising of their grandchild... it's just never well received, even if some of the advice is sound. Yes, it is your business to advocate for your child and I agree there are some things here that I wouldn't have done, the first of which being setting up evaluations without your notification and consent. But then, at some point I think you can overstep a reasonable and measured response, and then everything you say will get dismissed as "she's just the crazy mom" instead of the right people actually listening. Recommending classroom management lessons for the teacher (when you are not a professional educator and have no master's degree in administration) is a bit of an overreach and is more likely to shut down a conversation instead of encourage one.
Sadly, there is symmetry in this situation. You are dismissing everything she says because you are convinced she doesn't like you or your son. You perceive that she overreacts to things your son does, and because of this, you dismiss entirety of what she says as invalid. By the same token, the principal is dismissing everything you say because they are convinced you don't like the teacher. They perceive that you overreact to things she does, and because of this, they dismiss the entirety of what you say as invalid. Perhaps one answer would be a more measured response. You have some genuine complaints. However, when 2-3 legitimate issues are buried within a listing of 20 other trivial gripes, they are drowned out.
I hear you on the "when he's bored, he's not attentive" bit, because I think most people (adults and kids!) are like that. It's something he'll need to work on, as eventually there will be things he needs to learn that he isn't interested in, but sometimes kids just mature past that as they get older. I will also offer that her technique of ignoring certain behaviors is not always a flawed one. Particularly with kids who are often off-task or frequently doing something "wrong", it's important to choose which things are critical and which can be overlooked, so that the kid isn't getting called out 30+ times in an hour (overwhelming and defeating.) Still, you should have been called before any evaluations were done. I agree with you there.
Fortunately the year is almost over. Some of what you are describing is typical little boy stuff. Your son may just be bored and acting out a bit. Some of the things you listed seem pretty innocuous, but it may be that when they look at the overall picture, the small things add up to a consistent difficulty. So while the finding of the doctor might be that it's merely situational, and your son doesn't have any reason for a diagnosis of anything, I don't see that there would be any harm in having him evaluated. If they find nothing, you have that confirmation and if the same thing arises next year in a different classroom, you already have that information.
I'm an elementary teacher. I can't tell if your child is ADHD, but I can tell you a few things that have worked for me and students that have a hard time sitting.
1) I put a box on the floor, the child can move however s/he wants but must stay in the box, they can stand, sit, whatever. That way, the child gets some freedom to move, but not so that it would bother the students by having him/her wander around the classroom.
2) Use an exercise ball instead of a chair. This is a great way for those more active children to get their excess energy out.
3) If he can't get out in line in a reasonable amount of time, he should likely be told to begin a minute or two prior to the rest of class or be rewarded for clearing things faster than normal.
We have several students on behavior improvement plans, they carry around a paper so that every teacher they see that day can fill it out, then it is signed by the parent.
I'm an elementary teacher. I can't tell if your child is ADHD, but I can tell you a few things that have worked for me and students that have a hard time sitting.
1) I put a box on the floor, the child can move however s/he wants but must stay in the box, they can stand, sit, whatever. That way, the child gets some freedom to move, but not so that it would bother the students by having him/her wander around the classroom.
2) Use an exercise ball instead of a chair. This is a great way for those more active children to get their excess energy out.
3) If he can't get out in line in a reasonable amount of time, he should likely be told to begin a minute or two prior to the rest of class or be rewarded for clearing things faster than normal.
We have several students on behavior improvement plans, they carry around a paper so that every teacher they see that day can fill it out, then it is signed by the parent.
My teacher made me go run round the playing fields. One lap.
Then a few minutes later when I mucked up again, another lap.
After about 5 laps I was exhausted and ready to learn.
Personally I do not like the idea of kids carrying round :behaviour slips" - pieces of paper thatthey have to show other teachers to confirm that they are a bad kid. Just reinforces their position in the social ladder.
Right now, I am livid! Last month my son's 4th grade teacher called in the school psych to observe my son. This was done without my knowledge. I was called in a couple of weeks ago and the psych listed numerous behaviors that all point to ADHD. At that meeting the psych did most of the talking while the teacher and myself listened. She suggested I take my son to see a medical doctor.
I digested all this for about a week then set up a conference with the teacher for yesterday to ascertain the ADHD behaviors the TEACHER sees on a daily basis. There was a LOT of contradiction in what she told me. While I do believe she has been having some difficulties with my son this year, I think she is embellishing the behaviors, and in fact contributing to them.
1. She told me he can't stay in his seat and is constantly moving and that she sees this behavior 80% of class time!!
80%??? I say? That is HUGE! Well, then, what percentage of his classwork is not being completed due to this behavior, I ask?
Oh, he completes ALL his work, and usually on time, she tells me. He's VERY smart!
So, can anyone tell me how he accomplishes this amazing feat? He can't sit still or stay in his seat for 80% OF THE DAY, but he ALWAYS gets ALL his work done!? Or maybe they are only BUSY for the other 20% of the time?
2. How is his attention, I ask? What % of the time is he not attending? Oh, about 30% she says.
Well, what % of his work is not being completed due to inattentiveness, I ask?
Oh, he gets all his work done, she says. He is always attentive during instruction time, she tells me. If he is interested in what we are doing, he pays attention and is very engaged, but if he is not interested in what we are doing, he becomes inattentive.
REALLY? Imagine that!?
3. So, I ask, when he DOES engage in the above behaviors, what strategies have you used with him, I ask?
Well, since he usually is not disruptive to either me or the other kids in the class, and since he usually gets his work done, I ignore it, says she.
So, can someone please tell me how a kid that can barely remain seated or quiet for 80% of the day is not disruptive? WHICH IS IT? He is either bouncing around in his seat 80% which I would imagine to be VERY disruptive, or he's NOT!?
4. He's always the last kid to get unpacked in the morning, the last kid to line up and the last kid to pack up at the end of the day.
Okaaaaaay, well someone has to be last!
5. The kids are supposed to clear off their desks at the end of the day before going to recess. (Yes, strangely, recess is the 10 to 15 minutes prior to going home). He rarely cleans off his desk, but he's not the only kid who leaves their desk like that, she tells me. Mind you, the psych made a HUGE ISSUE over this!
So, I ask, how is this being addressed? Well, I don't like to take recess away so I usually just let it go.
Soooo, despite the fact that you have 'let this go' since September and it is now April, there is no consequence whatsoever for NOT clearing off the desk, AND my son is not the only one leaving his desk cluttered, STILL this is a symptom of ADHD?
My biggest PEEVE is she went behind my back and called in the psych who did 3 observations all without my knowledge. I have spoken to her on SEVERAL OCCASIONS within this timeframe having to do with him being bullied at lunch time which she ignored for MONTHS until I really pushed. He was very unhappy about going to school during this time.
I asked her on SEVERAL occasions if she noticed any changes or problems with his behavior and her answer was no! We had a PT conference in February and while she mentioned the being 'last' thing, nothing else came up!
Really, WTF??? I am in touch with her ALL THE TIME, so how did she fail to mention all these out of control ADHD behaviors?
How does she explain the STRAIGHT A's!!!?????
WTH is her problem? If she doesn't have any classroom management techniques or consequences or any type of system to handle behavior whatsoever, how is that my problem?
I've had issues before with this woman and I even suggested to the principal that she needs some training in classroom management, because apparently she just goes in there every day and wings it, and it is NOT working!
Okay, now I feel better!
I have this feeling that you intimidate the teacher. That's perhaps why she didn't mention her concerns earlier.
I was also thinking that maybe your son has issues with transitions such as getting settled when he comes into class, getting ready to go to lunch or recess, for example. His moving slow may be his way of dealing with the anxiety that transitions cause.
My teacher made me go run round the playing fields. One lap.
Then a few minutes later when I mucked up again, another lap.
After about 5 laps I was exhausted and ready to learn.
Personally I do not like the idea of kids carrying round :behaviour slips" - pieces of paper thatthey have to show other teachers to confirm that they are a bad kid. Just reinforces their position in the social ladder.
That is one way to look at it, but I see it as a positive thing where a student having a good day can get immediate feedback on whether they did well in my class. Trust me, if they are on a personal behavior plan, I know whether that kid is having issues or not.
If your child's very smart, does All his work, mostly on time.....you are a very fortunate woman....You have a fine son, and don't let anyone else tell you different.I agree with standupandbecounted ,I wouldn't spend any money on any "professionals" to tell you what you already know...
Everything else aside, ADHD is considered a disorder. For someone to be diagnosed with any disorder there have to be certain symptoms AND it has to negatively affect work/school/social interactions severely enough to cause problems. That is true for any disorder. If he doesn't have academic or major social issues caused by symptoms then he doesn't have a disorder.
The kids at schools I've seen who are known to have ADHD (and not treated) are all very poor students who cannot complete assignments in class due to attention issues. A lot of them also have few friends because other kids get irritated when they are constantly loud, or poking them, or beating on their desks, etc.
Does your son's school have recess? My kids are grown but I keep hearing how schools are eliminating recess. My local elementary school has two: One before lunch and one at the end of the day. (Which I can't figure out at all.)
It's the most natural thing in the world for any healthy young child to be unable to sit in his chair 100% of the time. Especially if he's full of excess energy because the powers-that-be don't let him out to run a little of it off.
Were I you I'd ask the teacher how long SHE can sit in one spot.
Does your son's school have recess? My kids are grown but I keep hearing how schools are eliminating recess. My local elementary school has two: One before lunch and one at the end of the day. (Which I can't figure out at all.)
It's the most natural thing in the world for any healthy young child to be unable to sit in his chair 100% of the time. Especially if he's full of excess energy because the powers-that-be don't let him out to run a little of it off.
Were I you I'd ask the teacher how long SHE can sit in one spot.
The psyc evaluation? I'd have a fit.
They get one recess, but it's at the very end of the day. They pack up to go home and bring their backpacks outside with them, then 10 minutes later (if they get out in time), the kids get on the bus.
To further complicate matters, my son has severe allergies and has to sit at the allergy table every day. He is not allowed to even visit his friends at the regular table once the kids are finished eating lunch. They do not go outside after lunch and he is forced to sit at a table with two boys who spent the first 6 months of school bullying my son before something was finally done.
As for the psych eval? I AM livid. I am considering contacting the Superintendent of Schools regarding this. At the very least, it is ethically wrong and has now created an atmosphere of mistrust between myself and the school.
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