Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It must be nice to have a job that allows you to post on the internet all day. The only reason I'm on here at this hour was because my children are sick, normally not on the computer during the day.
Who posts all day? I posted at 6:30 this morning before I left, then not again until after school and I'm posting now while I wait to boil water to mix solutions for a lab that is a HUGE messy set up. I'm multi-tasking....
No, I'm talking about other studies but, it really makes sense given that we behave more as equals to men, our dd's grow up watching us use our educations (demonstrating the importance of education for girls vs. just talking about the importance of education for girls.) and we model how to manage both home and career (giving our dd's the confidence to think they can do the same).
I'm sorry but the research says the dd's of WMs' have higher goals and attainment and the children of WM's view women as more equal to men. It is what it is. And if you think about it, it makes logical sense because of what our children see while they are growing up. They take to heart more what they see us do than what they hear us talk about. Apparently, there is a difference between talking about what you used to do before children and showing your daughter what you DO on take your daughter to work day... If there weren't, we wouldn't see the difference we're seeing in our daughters goals, self confidence and sense of equality.
Really??? So how does the research valuate whether or not goals are higher or lower? So are goals that have to do with work and success somehow better than goals for self-fulfillment through volunteer work?
If I were working in the job I had before I had children, my goal would have been to be a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force. But right now my goal is to raise $10,000 for autism research, while running various marathons throughout the country. Which goal is more meaningful? Does my goal of raising money and running 26.2 miles is not as educational and driven as my career goal?
I know it's anecdotal, but my daughter is 5, do you know what she says she wants to be when she grows up. She wants to be an ABA therapists (Autism therapists). She also wants to run marathons. She certainly didn't get those career and personal goals from me being at work all day. She got them from witnessing me and others help my son with autism and from the fact that I run and take care of myself.
You are pidgeonholing women into either one or the other which, given the myriad of different roles women can take on in a lifetime, is IMO a ridiculous and futile exercise.
Exactly.
And all assertions that we all like to think of ourselves as outliers despite our averageness aside, virtually all the women I know (including myself) have had sequential roles: working mom, WAHM, SAHM, part-time work, Baylor weekends and shift work and volunteer work and deployment and home daycare and combinations of the above all at once, sometimes even with "college student" added into the mix.
They say you can make statistics tell whatever story you want them to tell. I expect that's so, because people are, at least IME, far more complex than just one snapshot taken at one time.
Exactly.
And all assertions that we all like to think of ourselves as outliers despite our averageness aside, virtually all the women I know (including myself) have had sequential roles: working mom, WAHM, SAHM, part-time work, Baylor weekends and shift work and volunteer work and deployment and home daycare and combinations of the above all at once, sometimes even with "college student" added into the mix.
They say you can make statistics tell whatever story you want them to tell. I expect that's so, because people are, at least IME, far more complex than just one snapshot taken at one time.
^This... I don't think statistics and studies can adequately predict how an individual child is going to turn out.
Who posts all day? I posted at 6:30 this morning before I left, then not again until after school and I'm posting now while I wait to boil water to mix solutions for a lab that is a HUGE messy set up. I'm multi-tasking....
Good for you, you want a cookie. Most of my day is spent multitasking, and all the previous jobs I have monitor internet and phone use, so I wouldn't have the luxury of posting while at work.
I agree. I didn't stay home but I worked part time and that was bad enough. There just wasn't enough to do to fill the days.
Wow. I never had that problem.
Quote:
While kids do need constant supervision, they stop you from doing things you would do if you had that kind of time and they weren't around.
Why is that? It may take 3 times as long to do something with a child "helping". But I did not chose to not do things in favor of doing nothing because their was a child around.
Quote:
Forget hobbies. You get 5 minutes into something and the kids need something. So you sit there for those 5 minutes waiting for the next thing they need.
Wow that is not the definition of sahm by any means. That is simply your interpretation; the way you chose to execute.
From the time my babies were in slings and baby bjorns, I continued with house work, fitness activities, volunteering, supplementing the income with babysitting, working on consulting projects. HOW you do these things certainly becomes different. But you don't have to stop doing anything and stare at your kid all day.
Quote:
My kids and I were much happier when they went to day care to play with their friends and mommy went back to work. Dh tells me he doesn't care what I do as long as I don't stay home.... I have to agree with him. I'd need to live on a farm or something to be a SAHM. I need to be busy.
You have made your choice. But that choice does not speak to sahm-hood. It speaks to YOUR choice.
I agree. I didn't stay home but I worked part time and that was bad enough. There just wasn't enough to do to fill the days. While kids do need constant supervision, they stop you from doing things you would do if you had that kind of time and they weren't around. Forget hobbies. You get 5 minutes into something and the kids need something. So you sit there for those 5 minutes waiting for the next thing they need.
Part-time work is neither analogous to nor indicative of either role. It's its own niche-- and has its own characteristics completely separate from either fulltime employment or fulltime at home. Saying it's the same is rather like saying substitute teaching gives you all the nuances and responsibilities of having your own classroom, or that babysitting is just like parenting. It simply isn't.
No, I'm talking about other studies but, it really makes sense given that we behave more as equals to men, our dd's grow up watching us use our educations (demonstrating the importance of education for girls vs. just talking about the importance of education for girls.) and we model how to manage both home and career (giving our dd's the confidence to think they can do the same).
Here's the thing. Being equal to men is not just how you split the tasks of daily life. It's in your attitude, and your general being.
I am not sure where you get the idea that because some women choose to stay at home while they have children, that they are suddenly the unequal to men in their daughter's eyes, or in anybody else's for that matter.
It seems to me like feel like you are blazing some sort of trail for women, because you are above staying home with your children, that you need to be busy, as if mothers that stay at home are somehow wasting their lives - and that that alone will give your daughters what they need to succeed.
This is purely my opinion - but I think that is misguided at best and snobby and judgmental worst. What you are going to do is to pass on that if women make a different choice than you did, that they are somehow to be looked down upon as lesser members of society, and as not having high enough aspirations.
That is where you are inducing the ire of the other posters here. Being busy isn't everything. Being engaged with your family, and living your life the best way you can for you and them, is what's important. Regardless (work, SAH, join the circus, whatever) of how you choose to do it, that's the best modeling, as far as I'm concerned.
No, I'm talking about other studies but, it really makes sense given that we behave more as equals to men, our dd's grow up watching us use our educations (demonstrating the importance of education for girls vs. just talking about the importance of education for girls.) and we model how to manage both home and career (giving our dd's the confidence to think they can do the same).
I will admit that, when they were small, maybe three or four, my children didn't think of me as dh's equal (they thought of me as his boss, because I am the choreographer of the household). But as with anything else, maturity lends perspective. Just as many teams are made up of people with their own unique roles, so is our marriage and our family unit. A football team doesn't want all kickers, nor would a marching band do well with nothing but triangles.
Here's the thing-- I don't need to be doing the same thing as dh to feel or look equal. Our equality is a given. We've nothing to prove, either of us. To put it in another way, since you seem to like numbers, (3)3 and 2+18+7 may not be just alike, but they are assuredly equal.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have to agree with him. I'd need to live on a farm or something to be a SAHM. I need to be busy.
