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Well ,not to make anyone jealous but my first labor was 4 hours. My 3rd was an hour. He pretty much popped out. I was afraid to have a other one because I thought my water would break and the baby would just shoot out like a football
LOL, I've got you beat. My FIRST was 1 HOUR!!! Start to finish! I had gone to L&D to be checked for some pain I was having (later found it was a gall bladder attack.) After hooking me up to the contraction monitor and doing a cervical check, I was told I was fine to go home. Not 10 minutes after leaving the hospital, intense 3-minute apart contractions kicked in. I screamed at DH to go back to the hospital, and DS was born roughly an hour later. My doctor did not make it in time, and I had no time for an epidural.
When I had my second, my DD, they induced me to avoid a car birth. My doctor broke my water and she was out 42 minutes later with 7 minutes of pushing. I think its best I call it quits on having babies because I'm pretty sure another WILL shoot out like a football!
And no, I'm not in grad school. I have my nursing license and decided to complete my Bachelor's in something different. I'm a few courses away and have worked and paid for my education out of pocket. Even though my parents had money, they didn't hand me anything for free in my life. What a stupid comment. I've been in plenty of classes with people JUST starting college and they're in their late 30s and 40s.
My guy is a year younger than me and earned a scholarship to NYU, but nothing is free in life "bright" one. We're supporting each other through college as adults--not as dorm students.
In all fairness, I think Katiana brought up you being late finishing college because it IS possible to be your age (26), have finished college AND had a child already. (Maybe even 2 children.) I started college right after high school and graduated at 23 and I was there for 5 years, had I graduated in 4 years I would have been 22. You chose another path and will graduate older and that's fine, but it is possible, although it sounds like that is not the case for the people you are referring to.
same here. 30 isn't old. I was 30 and 32 when mine were born. that seems average for where am am in a middle-upper-middle class suburb. Everyone one I know seems to have had kids between 25-35. My younger sister, hasn't been as fortunate. She tried for her first at about 31 and found out she had very low fertility. She had one via IUI, but has found out she might not be able to have another. She's about to try IVF. she's only 34. Whoever said there is no perfect time is right. There will always be something going on that is not ideal. Don't wait forever.
This is a good point. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but I wonder how many people wait until they are older and financially stable to have kids, only to find out they've waited so long they now have fertility problems? Fertility treatments are VERY expensive and can eat up a comfortable savings account very quickly since fertility treatments usually aren't covered by insurance. Obviously younger people can have fertility problems too, but its much more common in the 35+ crowd.
In all fairness, I think Katiana brought up you being late finishing college because it IS possible to be your age (26), have finished college AND had a child already. (Maybe even 2 children.) I started college right after high school and graduated at 23 and I was there for 5 years, had I graduated in 4 years I would have been 22. You chose another path and will graduate older and that's fine, but it is possible, although it sounds like that is not the case for the people you are referring to.
Thank you sbd78 (you of the short labors, LOL!). My daughters both graduated at 22, one went to professional school right away and was working by 25; the other first worked for 1 1/2 years and is now at 24 (today) in grad school. That and my own experience of graduating college shortly after my 21 st birthday made me ask the questions I asked. Many of my older daughter"s friends (all ~ age 27) have gotten married in the past few years; a few have had babies. The younger DD has fewer married friends, at least of her own age, but a few have had babies, married or not. It depends on the group of people you're looking at.
This is a good point. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but I wonder how many people wait until they are older and financially stable to have kids, only to find out they've waited so long they now have fertility problems? Fertility treatments are VERY expensive and can eat up a comfortable savings account very quickly since fertility treatments usually aren't covered by insurance. Obviously younger people can have fertility problems too, but its much more common in the 35+ crowd.
Yes, I do have a friend and a relative who had a child by age 26; both have degrees and good jobs (and husbands with good jobs), and are certainly living proof that by age 26 it's very possible to be in a stable enough position to begin a family. I didn't have my child until a few years later, but by 26 I had a graduate degree and had been working for a couple of years. I wasn't in a big rush, but we'd been married for four years and could certainly have had a child then without encountering financial difficulties. Most of my friends waited until they were older, but I think part of that was also because most of them did not marry until they were in their late 20s.
We had our first at 23...then 25...then 2 more.There's not set time to have children......the worst thing I hear is when people say "we can't afford to have children at this time"...really....children don't have to cost money.
actually they do. You can nurse for a while, but eventually they have to eat food. You have to have a car seat. You have to buy them clothes. They need a crib, then a bed to sleep in. Even if you get these things at thrift stores, they still cost money. the list is endless There are less expensive ways to do it, but to say they don't have to cost any money is completely ridiculous.
In all fairness, I think Katiana brought up you being late finishing college because it IS possible to be your age (26), have finished college AND had a child already. (Maybe even 2 children.) I started college right after high school and graduated at 23 and I was there for 5 years, had I graduated in 4 years I would have been 22. You chose another path and will graduate older and that's fine, but it is possible, although it sounds like that is not the case for the people you are referring to.
I understand this, but only about 1/2 have even finished some type of education and most don't have careers. I'm also not saying that all of them are just now having babies. I think, for me, it's just become more apparent that since I've graduated high school, up until now, I'm one of the last few who hasn't been married, divorced or having children and my head is spinning from everyone asking me when.
On the other hand I have a handful of friends (JUST a handful) that paid their dues in the military and were able to save up,buy a house and have children. Some are still completing their educations, but it's being paid for, so I would say that's ideal.
Enough with the "disdain" everyone. I don't care if people want to pop out kids and be broke instead of waiting a couple of years. Yes, I DO feel sorry for them and I've received SEVERAL reputation points telling me they agree and feel the same way, so it's not like I'm picking on them. I can't help the way I feel. I mainly feel sorry for the women, because we live in an age where women have gained so many rights and have access to so many opportunities and once one has a baby it's like a race "Who will pop out one next?". It's just something I have observed and I cannot help but to notice it when people are asking me when I will get married and have babies. They have been asking me for a few years and I find it sad. Is that all they really feel there is to life? I've got more traveling and saving to do. If I won the lottery I would get married and have kids tomorrow, but it doesn't work t hat way so I'm doing my best to approach this path with LOGIC.
As a feminist myself, I am thrilled that these women out there have CHOICES, and given that it was their CHOICE to stay at home with their kids, I can't imagine feeling "sorry" for them. Your kids are only young for a short time; odds are that most of these women will enter (or reenter) the workforce at some point in life. Some of the most successful women I know had their kids young, so don't be so quick to make assumptions about their futures. And if they do decide to go back to school and get a degree, then perhaps they'll have even see some benefit from the delay; they'll know what they want, and perhaps be more efficient about setting about accomplishing it. Your life is not set in stone at age 26.
Why is it "sad" if people ask if you're getting married? It sounded like you were in a stable relationship -- many adults DO get married. It doesn't mean people care one way or another what you choose to do or not to do. Well, some might (it sounds like you care very much about the decisions of others), but most people are probably simply curious. I thought these were your friends? I find it a bit odd that you haven't met many other women who have chosen other routes. Especially given that you're living in New York, have attended college for what sounds like many years, and live in a major city. If you feel like you have so little in common with these other women, and look down upon them with such disdain, why are you spending your time with them and worrying about them? Since you're a student, why not just look around you in your classes? Your classmates aren't stay-at-home-moms, and probably many of them don't have children. Getting married and having kids young may be the norm in your group of "friends," but there are very obviously many, many women out there who have gone a different route. If you're worried about feeling "normal," it doesn't take much to realize that yes, you are. If you're just looking for validation that all your friends are losers who have their priorities all wrong, well, does it really surprise you that so many people would find that a bit offensive?
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