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30 is the new 20, as the saying goes now. Because more people are going into college and taking more education, taking longer before they marry, the trend is they are having kids later. It's not unusual at all.
In the United States as a statistical average, although I think your age (mid-late twenties) is not unusual for an age at first child for a woman in the 2000s, it varies a lot by state and city. Also, where I am (Canada), it is probably more around late 20s, perhaps 28 or 29, close to 30. Within my peer group (mostly mid twenties), I only know one person, a girl I grew up with, who had a kid in her early 20s.
Of course being an average, that means there will also be a lot of people having their first child in their 30s. From the website for Statistics Canada:
"Although older motherhood is increasing in both Canada and the United States, Canadian women in their thirties are more likely to be having their first child. Over a third (34.7%) of births to Canadian women in their thirties in 2004 were first births, compared with 27.1% of births to American women in their thirties."
And the age of first birth continues to increase in the developed world.
Honestly, the most important thing is that the children are able to get the care and environment they deserve. In my opinion (and by far a not uncommon one), hurrying up to get kids for the sake of having kids 'cause everyone else is doing, is a very wrong attitude. You are bringing another human being into existence, that's not just a trivial thing, and you should be ready when you are ready, to give them the best. My own parents had me in their low- mid 30s, in the late eighties.
30 is the new 20, as the saying goes now. Because more people are going into college and taking more education, taking longer before they marry, the trend is they are having kids later. It's not unusual at all.
In the United States as a statistical average, although I think your age (mid-late twenties) is not unusual for an age at first child for a woman in the 2000s, it varies a lot by state and city. Also, where I am (Canada), it is probably more around late 20s, perhaps 28 or 29, close to 30. Within my peer group (mostly mid twenties), I only know one person, a girl I grew up with, who had a kid in her early 20s.
Of course being an average, that means there will also be a lot of people having their first child in their 30s. From the website for Statistics Canada:
"Although older motherhood is increasing in both Canada and the United States, Canadian women in their thirties are more likely to be having their first child. Over a third (34.7%) of births to Canadian women in their thirties in 2004 were first births, compared with 27.1% of births to American women in their thirties."
And the age of first birth continues to increase in the developed world.
Honestly, the most important thing is that the children are able to get the care and environment they deserve. In my opinion (and by far a not uncommon one), hurrying up to get kids for the sake of having kids 'cause everyone else is doing, is a very wrong attitude. You are bringing another human being into existence, that's not just a trivial thing, and you should be ready when you are ready, to give them the best. My own parents had me in their low- mid 30s, in the late eighties.
Wow, we really do have children younger. 16-22 seems to be around the ages most people have their first baby in my area and again around late 20s and 30, but after 30 is rare. But the first baby going seems to peak when women are around 18-21. My mom was 31 when she had me and my dad was 30, but I was my dad's second child (he had his first at 21.) When I was in my Junior year of high school two years ago, there were about 10 expectant girls and I think 2 or 3 got married.
According to the 2009 United States first birth statistics from the CDC, 4,920 of the women having their first babies were 14 and younger, 330,532 were ages 15-19, 493,880 were ages 20-24, 426,391 were between 25-29, 272,229 were 30-34 and the rest were 35 and later. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr59/nvsr59_03.pdf
Another CDC report shows that women on average have their first baby when they're 25 years old (which I think is the age where half the women have babies and half don't). Ranging from 22.6 years of age in Mississippi to 27.7 years in Massachusetts. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db21.pdf
I'm 26 and I've noticed over the last couple of years (esp. recently) all of my friends seem to be getting married and girls my age are now on their 2nd and 3rd kids. I came from an upper middle class neighborhood and I feel like I'm one of the last one of my peers who isn't married or knocked up...or on my 2nd or 3rd baby.
Is this normal? I sometimes almost feel sad for girls my age. I look at their FB and in their employer section I swear it feels like all of them have "Stay at home mommy" and a picture of a new sonogram with their umpteenth baby on the way. Considering that the majority of their husbands don't even have a college degree (and neither do they) I wonder how they do it. I feel like the odd ball out and wonder if I'm going to regret waiting so long to have kids.
I'm with a wonderful guy, but we're finishing college and I told him even though I would love a baby, I'm trying to think logically and at least get our degrees and loans out of the way. My peers seem SO relaxed and not worried at all, which makes me feel like I worry about finances too much, but I just felt like I was being responsible.
Most of them work at Rite-Aid or are married to husbands that work as supervisors at a pizza restaurant or are in the military. I guess I can't wrap my head around it. I have this weird feeling that once girls hit the age of 21 their minds go into baby-mode. I remember working at a sales job at Bloomingdales in the mall and I worked in the baby area (partly). The girls I worked with would sigh and say stuff like "I can't wait until I don't work and can be a stay at home mommy"....and others would see other women shopping with their babies during the day and say "I wish I was a housewife and had a baby already".
I really don't envy women who are stay at home moms, because I like to make money and the vast majority of them don't seem to have husbands who are engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc. so I honestly don't know how they have a savings account or more than enough money to really feel content. Am I going through a crisis? Is it just normal for girls my age to be going nuts and popping out babies like crazy? Everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to get married and have babies. Because my guy and I want to go to graduate school it probably won't be until 30, but then I wonder if I'll feel like I have less energy in my 30s to raise kids and look back and say "Wow, I wish I would have just toughed it out and had kids young".
I can understand what you're saying. But, check back with these couples in 5-10 years and see how many are still together. Marriage is not easy. Add kids into the mix and it can get very stressful. Money problems? Stress multiplies exponentially.
I know there are many difficult decisions to be made regarding career vs family. It's too bad that our fertility doesn't peak at 35. It seems unfair. Stay true to what you want to accomplish and hopefully things will fall into place. Your energy should not change significantly in your 30's.
As far as feeling financially stable, it never seems to happen! Maybe it's just me, but I always worry about money, and I'm almost 55 years old and married for 17 years. So, yes, I didn't marry until 38, had my kids at 40, 43 and
47. Before that I had a great career and traveled the world. No regrets.
I'm 26 and I've noticed over the last couple of years (esp. recently) all of my friends seem to be getting married and girls my age are now on their 2nd and 3rd kids. I came from an upper middle class neighborhood and I feel like I'm one of the last one of my peers who isn't married or knocked up...or on my 2nd or 3rd baby.
Is this normal? I sometimes almost feel sad for girls my age. I look at their FB and in their employer section I swear it feels like all of them have "Stay at home mommy" and a picture of a new sonogram with their umpteenth baby on the way. Considering that the majority of their husbands don't even have a college degree (and neither do they) I wonder how they do it. I feel like the odd ball out and wonder if I'm going to regret waiting so long to have kids.
I'm with a wonderful guy, but we're finishing college and I told him even though I would love a baby, I'm trying to think logically and at least get our degrees and loans out of the way. My peers seem SO relaxed and not worried at all, which makes me feel like I worry about finances too much, but I just felt like I was being responsible.
Most of them work at Rite-Aid or are married to husbands that work as supervisors at a pizza restaurant or are in the military. I guess I can't wrap my head around it. I have this weird feeling that once girls hit the age of 21 their minds go into baby-mode. I remember working at a sales job at Bloomingdales in the mall and I worked in the baby area (partly). The girls I worked with would sigh and say stuff like "I can't wait until I don't work and can be a stay at home mommy"....and others would see other women shopping with their babies during the day and say "I wish I was a housewife and had a baby already".
I really don't envy women who are stay at home moms, because I like to make money and the vast majority of them don't seem to have husbands who are engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc. so I honestly don't know how they have a savings account or more than enough money to really feel content. Am I going through a crisis? Is it just normal for girls my age to be going nuts and popping out babies like crazy? Everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to get married and have babies. Because my guy and I want to go to graduate school it probably won't be until 30, but then I wonder if I'll feel like I have less energy in my 30s to raise kids and look back and say "Wow, I wish I would have just toughed it out and had kids young".
Sounds like you're thinking with your head and planning ahead for the future and the betterment of your family. Forget about those asking "when are you getting married"...just wait and see what happens. I was married for 8 years before we decided to have a baby...just do what feels correct to you.
OP you are crazy and have too much time on your hand for someone who has such a great life going to school and the greatest man and job in the world and come from this great upper middle class family. Where can you possibly find all this time to post on this forum with your busy life.
If it was such a great upbringing why didn't you graduate college on time and shacking up with a man and pathetically posting about your job search.
please give me a break. It sounds to me that you are judgmental towards others to make yourself feel good.
I think you are jealous of the life your friends have.
"Pop out". Such an interesting term for the act of giving birth.
Is that a step above or below "spawn"?
Well ,not to make anyone jealous but my first labor was 4 hours. My 3rd was an hour. He pretty much popped out. I was afraid to have a other one because I thought my water would break and the baby would just shoot out like a football
Well ,not to make anyone jealous but my first labor was 4 hours. My 3rd was an hour. He pretty much popped out. I was afraid to have a other one because I thought my water would break and the baby would just shoot out like a football
Was it 4 hours after you started to feel the first contractions?
Was it 4 hours after you started to feel the first contractions?
No contractions, but I was around 2 CM at my doctors apt 2 days before. First sign of active labor was my water breaking. A little more than 4 hours later my daughter was born. With my second child my water broke at around 1 AM. I went to the hospital and he was born at 3.30. It was a natural delivery because my labor was too quick for an epidural.
With my last child, it was imperative that I deliver in a hospital for certain reasons. I went to the hospital and they tried to induce. It did nothing at all. I told the doctor that he should break my water and the baby would come. He did and decided to go get dinner. I tried to warn him he shouldn't go far. I delivered just over an hour later. My doctor didn't make it in time,lol. They had to get someone else
Sorry this is way OT
Nearly all my friends waited until their 30's to have children. They did what you are doing--college, sometimes graduate school, career starting, marriage and then kids sometime in their 30's. I honestly have never heard a mother in her 30's worry about not having enough energy for kids. Where I live in fact, a number of parents with younger kids are older than 40. You of course do have to consider fertility, but that usually becomes a much bigger concern at age 35 and older. Of course there are some people who will have fertility issues at any age, so I guess you never know. Overall though, I would not worry if you are not ready for kids yet. There are many other women like you, and you will hopefully know when you are ready for children.
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