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Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
2,220 posts, read 1,878,203 times
Reputation: 886
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ParallelJJCat
Actually, I would smack them all- no one has the right to touch me in such a manner, and I do have the right to defend myself. Hopefully it would make the 13 year old think twice before ever trying it again. 13 in my opinion is plenty old enough to know better.
Now, if it were a 5 year old...I'd still probably squawk and throw a fit, again to make it comes across that this not appropriate. Then I'd throw the same fit at the parent. For the 30 year old, I'd call the police- sexual assault is a crime. For the 80 year old, it would depend on how coherent he was and if there was a caretaker nearby. If he was coherent, yeah, I'm still calling the police.
'Boys will be boys' because we ALLOW them to get away with offensive behavior that often crosses the line between teasing and violence. Holding a younger, smaller child down may not be a sexual act, but it is a violent one. Once they are old enough to grasp very basic concepts like you don't lay hands on another person, we should treat such acts seriously, not dismiss them as 'horseplay'. It continues to disturb me that boy on boy violence is accepted, but boy on girl is condemned. As many others have pointed out, WHY is this? Why do we send the dual message that girls are weak and in need of special protection, but boys will be boys and need to suck it up?
Even so, I don't believe putting on the list is appropriate. But then I think the sex offender registry is a terrible system used to spread fear and punish people who did not commit the dreadful crimes that people assume they did when they hear 'sex offender'.
I absolutely agree with you.
Much less hold you down and stick their bare ass and genitals in your face. That is just sick. Thats not a prank, and they were 15 not 13 as the person you responded to stated in their example. Their victims were 13.
My 13 year old daughter had a male classmate call her a b*tch and told her to suck his dick. She told me but was intimidated to tell the principal (this happened at school) or the boys parents. I told her she needed to tell them for the sake of the young man who did this so he would have the opportunity to learn and know how wrong this behavior is. (plus I was fairly upset myself, but felt it really needed to be her choice)
And you know what's even worse, if the victims had a big brother who saw this happen he probably would have kicked the sh*t out of the little a$$hoes and found himself being arrested for assault.
Those punks deserve to be charged with criminal charges in a court of law and suffer consequences which I believe should include some kind of counseling and restitution to their victims and their families.
That said, labelling them sex offenders for life is ridiculous.
It is a sexual act since they pulled down their pants sticking it in the other child's face therefore it is no longer bullying. Maybe we as parents should take this as a warning and not judge the judicial system but understand that if we do not educate our children, for every action they commit there is a reaction and they may not like the outcome because it can haunt them forever. I cannot sympathize for the boys whom committed the act I can only say it is sad that they got all of the attention from it and not the boys that were victimized. The boys and their parents should have been put on the sexual predators list til the boys where 21 (I would have said 18, however, sometimes we as humans still are not mature at 18 let alone 40 yrs old). As for the what age is it considered sexual in nature to punish there are sometimes unusual circumstances (ex: mentally challenged-alzheimers, etc.) but leave that definition up to jury.
Those punks deserve to be charged with criminal charges in a court of law and suffer consequences which I believe should include some kind of counseling and restitution to their victims and their families.
That said, labelling them sex offenders for life is ridiculous.
But in being put on the SO list, they *will* suffer consequences for their actions. As I stated earlier, "laws" and "justice" seldom cross paths in our legal system. What happened may be as close as it gets as they will (or may) suffer consequences in terms of future opportunities denied to the types of people which they obviously are. Sending them to counseling would likely be of little use - they could put in the hours, tell the counselor what they imgaine he/she wants to hear, and go about their way, snickering at what they 'got away with'. Restitution is harder. How do you restore what has been taken from a victim when that loss cannot be expressed in a material sense and the aftereffects continue? How much is shame worth? How much is degradation worth? What's the going rate for being terrorized and humiliated? That's all hard to express in the typical terms used by the court for restitution - dollars and cents. And that part of the equation here will be handled as a civil matter between two parties rather than under the criminal court which judges their actions.
In terms of 'balancing the scales', much was taken away from the victims by the actions of the perps. Nothing can restore that, but knowing that much will be taken from the perps in terms of future loss of opportunity and being scrutinized at every turn (jobs, where they live, interactions with children for life, etc.) may provide at least some sense of compensation to the victims.
My 13 year old daughter had a male classmate call her a b*tch and told her to suck his dick. She told me but was intimidated to tell the principal (this happened at school) or the boys parents. I told her she needed to tell them for the sake of the young man who did this so he would have the opportunity to learn and know how wrong this behavior is. (plus I was fairly upset myself, but felt it really needed to be her choice)
Now THAT sounds like it should go under "sexual harassment."
You're more lenient than I would [initially want to] be on that.
I'd have wanted to rip that kid's head off myself.
I understand that at that age they do need to handle their own problems,
but to me that goes beyond.
JMHO.
My 13 year old daughter had a male classmate call her a b*tch and told her to suck his dick. She told me but was intimidated to tell the principal (this happened at school) or the boys parents. I told her she needed to tell them for the sake of the young man who did this so he would have the opportunity to learn and know how wrong this behavior is. (plus I was fairly upset myself, but felt it really needed to be her choice)
I guess I'm old school.
I wouldn't leave this to my daughter. I'm personally coming down on that kid and his parents and the school like a roided-up mama bear.
"Opportunity to learn"? How about opportunity to keep breathing without the help of a respirator?
Last edited by DewDropInn; 07-28-2011 at 01:36 PM..
Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
2,220 posts, read 1,878,203 times
Reputation: 886
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
I guess I'm old school.
I wouldn't leave this to my daughter. I'm personally coming down on that kid and his parents and the school like a roided-up mama bear.
"Opportunity to learn"? How about opportunity to keep breathing without the help of a respirator?
heh-heh,
Trust me I hear you.
In some ways I'm concerned about being over-protective though. I want them to learn to stand up for themselves. It worked out and that young man actually won't be coming back to that same school. However, neither will my daughters - that was not the only incident that concerned me and I put them in a new school too.
"Horseplay" does not involve holding someone down, and abusing them. The actions of those boys was extremely anti-social, with no empathy for other people. This could have easily escalated into something even worse. Those kids need some major therapy, and treatment. Labeling them as Sex Offenders will hopefully get those kids the treatment that they desperately need. Giving them a hand slap, would have been outrageous to the victim, and not helped the boys, or their families realize the gravity of the actions that their sons did. My only hope, is that they don't continue to discount the activity as "horseplay" and blame the victim or system. That won't help their kids get better.
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