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Let me see if I can ask this the right way. I'm 46, got married when I was 27 and my wife was 25. We aren't going to be having any children. Those years flew by. Never gave it any thought in the early years of marriage. Just working and doing what we wanted to to.
As we got a little older, careers were the main focus. And the unconscious decision was in both our minds that we weren't going to have kids.
Career really took hold for my wife, and I wasn't sure I could handle such a BIG RESPONSIBILITY (and realize what I'm missing out on.) I hand it to those of you that have been successful at both. .
When I use to say something like, "I don't know if I can handle such a big responsibility", lots of people would say something like, "you'd be surprised at yourself once you have them."
It has been much harder than I ever imagined. So, yes, I guess I have surprised myself, in a way. But, I take it as it comes, and do what I feel needs to be done. I haven't spent a lot of time reflecting on if it was expected or not. You just do it.
Yes, I surprised myself (and others who have known me for a long time). I am a lot more patient, loving, and selfless than I thought I was capable of. I think much of that is because I waited until I was older, became more mature, sowed my wild oats, established a career, etc.
It has been much harder than I ever imagined. So, yes, I guess I have surprised myself, in a way. But, I take it as it comes, and do what I feel needs to be done. I haven't spent a lot of time reflecting on if it was expected or not. You just do it.
Let me see if I can ask this the right way. I'm 46, got married when I was 27 and my wife was 25. We aren't going to be having any children. Those years flew by. Never gave it any thought in the early years of marriage. Just working and doing what we wanted to to.
As we got a little older, careers were the main focus. And the unconscious decision was in both our minds that we weren't going to have kids.
Career really took hold for my wife, and I wasn't sure I could handle such a BIG RESPONSIBILITY (and realize what I'm missing out on.) I hand it to those of you that have been successful at both. .
When I use to say something like, "I don't know if I can handle such a big responsibility", lots of people would say something like, "you'd be surprised at yourself once you have them."
So, did you surprise yourself?
Yes, I did. For the longest time, I never wanted kids and couldn't imagine having any. It was all about working, or having a good time. Everyone always assumed I'd have a house full of animals but no kids.
However, I found it surprisingly easy to switch gears into motherhood. I suppose I was ready for it, and I am glad I got a chance to enjoy my own life before I settled down to being a mom.
The love and happiness I have from my kids is worth every bit of HARD that is thrown my way! My kids are really fun. When I gave birth and held them for the 1st time --I was overwhelmed at the emotions/feelings that took over me! You know how they say the Grinch's heart grew 3x's that day in the Christmas movie--that is how I felt.
Would I have been fine never having kids--sure. We had fun and were able to travel. There are days it is hard. I work part time, hubby works full time/overtime and travels out of town in spurts. BUT at the end of the day--that hug and kiss and unprompted I LOVE YOU MOMMY is worth every moment of frustration.
I surprise myself every day. I always thought being a parent would be like a walk in the park. I was wrong and it is the hardest job I ever had but it is the most pleasing, rewarding and loving!
Having poor vision and being blind in one eye, I never saw myself getting married or having children. I mean, I thought that's for normal people but I had to work so much to support others - just never saw it - did get married and ended up having 2 children (would have been 3 - lost one).
I would say while I wished I would have been a stay at home mom, I did work and try to balance and all that and I hope and pray that my children are always close and in my life b/c I love them more than I ever thought possible.
I am not exactly a maternal type - more business minded, more serious about things - but I guess those feelings did happen. I was shocked at how I felt.
Even if you do not have children, there are so many volunteer opportunities available to work with children.
The only surprise was how intensely I could love a tiny human being. Everything else fell into place.
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I hand it to those of you that have been successful at both. 
Also surprised myself
