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Old 03-22-2012, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,724,589 times
Reputation: 11309

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Blast from the crocodile's past. This thread made me look back into my own life.

One breezy night around 10pm in the terrace of the crocodile's Dad's house, the crocodile was fast asleep, given that my house was 200 yards from the beach, sleeping was the easiest thing to do, that too when the house is surrounded by coconut trees which give their own whistle.

Mom woke me up. She had three boiled eggs, a glass of milk and some steamed rice, with chicken. I woke up and sat still for 30 seconds and I was in such deep sleep and I started to eat. I was still sleepy but I noticed mom was crying. The next day I was leaving home to join my college. She continued to cry as I finished food and I went right back to bed. I realized she was "crying" crying only in the morning.

By the morning, mom's face was red. So they all came to put me on the train. Now mom started crying really really hard. I just couldn't hold it myself and I started crying too, as my father "yaaaaaaaaaaawned" and my brother thought it was a joke. Prick! No, pricks!

Train started moving and I stood hanging at the door. Mom was walking after the slow moving train with one million instructions, with tears rolling down her eyes. The train picked up pace and the connection between my fingers and her shivering hand came off. I went to the last car and saw her getting tinier and tinier. Then the train curved across a hill and mom was gone. I felt funky with the four hour train ride. Newfound freedom? The crocodile was only 17. His tail had just started growing out.

I wept that night bitterly, with stuff running out of my nose. It was 1997 and mobile technology hadn't been invented. No twitter or Farmville.

I can write a Bible about the amount of sacrifices that woman made for me. How do mothers do it? How's it possible someone can sacrifice so much for someone else?

Ringo, your son will never forget you. He'll buy you a retirement home with a vineyard in France. That's what I want to buy mine.
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Old 03-22-2012, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,724,589 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
How do you deal when they leave home for the first time? I mean, really leave home ~ as in moving away to go to college.

It hit me last night at a school swim banquet. They were doing the slideshow for the seniors - complete with baby pictures up to recent - music playing in the back ground . . and all the Senior Mom's were crying. I started crying too - just watching them.

I'm a single Mom - my son will be a Senior in high school next year.

I get teary just thinking about it - though I know it has to happen. I've loved watching him grow and succeed as a teen-ager and all those 'firsts' like getting his driver's license and first job.

But my whole life has revolved around him for 16 years.

What do I do when it just . . . . . stops?
Time to date a Michael Douglas or a Russel Crowe
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:13 PM
 
Location: The Great State of Arkansas
5,981 posts, read 18,273,106 times
Reputation: 7740
Quote:
Originally Posted by Currency Pair Crocodile View Post
Time to date a Michael Douglas or a Russel Crowe
Michael Douglas, yes - Russell Crowe? Lord - the woman is already sad enough...no need for her to go off the deep end! Tending to teen needs is sometimes bad enough - no room for crazy-makers too!
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,724,589 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam I Am View Post
Michael Douglas, yes - Russell Crowe? Lord - the woman is already sad enough...no need for her to go off the deep end! Tending to teen needs is sometimes bad enough - no room for crazy-makers too!



http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...ei9ro1_500.gif

Only becoz I have a man crush on his hair and goggles


http://www.moviewallpaper.net/wpp/Ru...aper_3_800.jpg

When Ringo comes back, she has suitors in line
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:48 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,532,112 times
Reputation: 25816
Quote:
Originally Posted by Currency Pair Crocodile View Post
Blast from the crocodile's past. This thread made me look back into my own life.

One breezy night around 10pm in the terrace of the crocodile's Dad's house, the crocodile was fast asleep, given that my house was 200 yards from the beach, sleeping was the easiest thing to do, that too when the house is surrounded by coconut trees which give their own whistle.

Mom woke me up. She had three boiled eggs, a glass of milk and some steamed rice, with chicken. I woke up and sat still for 30 seconds and I was in such deep sleep and I started to eat. I was still sleepy but I noticed mom was crying. The next day I was leaving home to join my college. She continued to cry as I finished food and I went right back to bed. I realized she was "crying" crying only in the morning.

By the morning, mom's face was red. So they all came to put me on the train. Now mom started crying really really hard. I just couldn't hold it myself and I started crying too, as my father "yaaaaaaaaaaawned" and my brother thought it was a joke. Prick! No, pricks!

Train started moving and I stood hanging at the door. Mom was walking after the slow moving train with one million instructions, with tears rolling down her eyes. The train picked up pace and the connection between my fingers and her shivering hand came off. I went to the last car and saw her getting tinier and tinier. Then the train curved across a hill and mom was gone. I felt funky with the four hour train ride. Newfound freedom? The crocodile was only 17. His tail had just started growing out.

I wept that night bitterly, with stuff running out of my nose. It was 1997 and mobile technology hadn't been invented. No twitter or Farmville.

I can write a Bible about the amount of sacrifices that woman made for me. How do mothers do it? How's it possible someone can sacrifice so much for someone else?

Ringo, your son will never forget you. He'll buy you a retirement home with a vineyard in France. That's what I want to buy mine.
What a touching and lovely post. I'll bet your Mom knows how much you love her.

And I'll take that retirement home with a Vinyard in France. Russell Crowe can come and stay ANYTIME.
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Old 03-22-2012, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,390 posts, read 11,606,714 times
Reputation: 7544
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
That's going to be me as well - as a swim Mom. I guess part of my sadness, too, at that banquet was knowing that two really great Mom's ~ I probably won't see anymore as their kids are graduating and moving on.

I know I'll find something to get into. I can't say if I'll keep this big house or look to downsize; I'd love to travel a bit lighter.

And factor in the 90 y/o living with me - I have to make sure I do find some time for me and not just switch from one caretaking role to another. That's what I see happening and it scares me a bit.
Yes, that you have gpa around you could lose focus. Don't, omgoodness, fix him meals in a box and let him know where they are. Go out when you want to, do your hair, things you've never had time to do. Hell, write a book. Even though you have an older adult living with you, remember he is an adult. He will enjoy being as independent as he can, even if that means grabbing the meal in the box out of the refrigerator for himself. Get him a "I've fallen and I can't get up" button and have some fun!

I'm not sure what I'll do, I have late bloomers whom go to a local college freshmen and sophmore, they live at home. I'm not enjoying all the adults as much lately so I try and free myself as much as possible. I still have a 8 year old so it will be awhile until I'm empty nesting it. Now that I think about it, I may never be.

Congrats to you for raising a fine young adult. I know it's hard to change gears but think of yourself at their age, you felt confident and so do they. It's time for you to change a little direction.
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Old 03-22-2012, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,390 posts, read 11,606,714 times
Reputation: 7544
Quote:
Originally Posted by Currency Pair Crocodile View Post
Blast from the crocodile's past. This thread made me look back into my own life.

One breezy night around 10pm in the terrace of the crocodile's Dad's house, the crocodile was fast asleep, given that my house was 200 yards from the beach, sleeping was the easiest thing to do, that too when the house is surrounded by coconut trees which give their own whistle.

Mom woke me up. She had three boiled eggs, a glass of milk and some steamed rice, with chicken. I woke up and sat still for 30 seconds and I was in such deep sleep and I started to eat. I was still sleepy but I noticed mom was crying. The next day I was leaving home to join my college. She continued to cry as I finished food and I went right back to bed. I realized she was "crying" crying only in the morning.

By the morning, mom's face was red. So they all came to put me on the train. Now mom started crying really really hard. I just couldn't hold it myself and I started crying too, as my father "yaaaaaaaaaaawned" and my brother thought it was a joke. Prick! No, pricks!

Train started moving and I stood hanging at the door. Mom was walking after the slow moving train with one million instructions, with tears rolling down her eyes. The train picked up pace and the connection between my fingers and her shivering hand came off. I went to the last car and saw her getting tinier and tinier. Then the train curved across a hill and mom was gone. I felt funky with the four hour train ride. Newfound freedom? The crocodile was only 17. His tail had just started growing out.

I wept that night bitterly, with stuff running out of my nose. It was 1997 and mobile technology hadn't been invented. No twitter or Farmville.

I can write a Bible about the amount of sacrifices that woman made for me. How do mothers do it? How's it possible someone can sacrifice so much for someone else?

Ringo, your son will never forget you. He'll buy you a retirement home with a vineyard in France. That's what I want to buy mine.
OMG, now I'm bawling and mine aren't even leaving. lol
That was really sweet croc, I didn't realize crocodiles had those kind of feelings. I do hope book writing is in your future. Let me know, I'll be the first in line.
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Old 03-23-2012, 10:37 AM
 
14,400 posts, read 14,310,746 times
Reputation: 45727
Its hard to let go of your children. I have a twenty year old son in college and he lives at home, so I have not really experienced him "leaving home" yet.

Any parent must keep certain thoughts in the back of their mind. Foremost among these is the idea that "you must be glad your child can leave home". Some children--primarily because of disabilities--cannot leave home. I would think it would be harder to parent such a child than to parent one that is able to grow up and move out in the world on his own. This knowledge, alone, will make it much easier for me when my son does leave home for the last time.

The reality is that all of us are individuals just passing through that continuum that we call "time". We know how long an average life span is. As humans, we have calibrated education, career length, and retirement based on averages. Whether we like it or not, our job as parents is primarily to prepare our children to function independently as adults. Children may spend from 18-25 years with us. The remaining balance of their lives (50 to 60 years) will be spent on their own.

As parents, we must learn the hard way how to say goodbye, when to give our children a little push out the door, and when the time has come to pass on leadership to them. None of those things are easy to do. Our own sense of mortality is deeply wrapped up in it. Yet, when we had children that is the job we signed on for.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
30,708 posts, read 79,820,680 times
Reputation: 39453
Funny, my wife was excited to have one of our daughters go off. It was a big deal accomplishment to her. I dreaded it, but thought it would be fine. It is only about 50 miles away after all. I enjoyed dropping her off and helping her set up her room. We had fun. About half way home I started sobbing. I constantly thought about all the things that I took for granted that i would probably never ever do again. No more morning chats in her room before school. I would probably never hear her sing again unless I went to a performance. Wrestling in the play room - out. Who would dump a glass of water on her when she would nto wake up?

I figured the next year woudl be easier. It wasn't.

Her third year was not as bad though. I guess I am getting used to it. However she called yesterday and asked "Dad are you OK? You have not called me in three days. Usually you call me almost every day." "I do?" - Maybe it is not getting any better.

She still comes home for summer and some weekends and holidays and her twin sister still lives at home (although we see her rarely). When someone moves out for good, I think it will be even harder. When we get down to just one at home, or then none, that will be really wierd and mostly awful.

I really like this "boomerang" generation concept. They are more than welcome to come back home until they are able to get their own place. If they cannot afford a place when they gt married - fine. I like having them around. I see nothing negative about them returning at any age. We have lots of room. I do not want an empty house. I have no interest in selling our home and moving to a small house.
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