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Hello, my 3 1/2 year old son seems to be refusing to use the potty. We had him pretty well potty trained when he turned 3 and stopped using diapers. He would have occasional accidents but nothing too serious. Now it is a daily occurrence, multiple times per day. It is mostly with #2 although he occasionally pees his pants as well. He seems to have no problem with making a mess in his pants and won't mention it until we discover it.
At this point we are at a loss. We've tried charts, rewards, etc. I don't want to make this a negative experience for him at this point but we're starting to consider punishment when he does have an accident. The frustrating thing is that we know he is capable of doing it, but for whatever reason he doesn't seem to be even trying anymore.
Is he in preschool? If so, does he have accidents in school? Do the other kids tease him? How does the teacher deal? Does he have a younger sibling who still wears diapers? Is he jealous? I would talk to the pediatrician if I were you. Right before the age of 3 ours suggest NO pullups. She said that it makes it easier for the kids to just go. Underwear only. That did the trick.
Has anything changed in his life? I know sometimes kids regress when going through any kind of changes. Otherwise, I would frequently make him take potty breaks, and when he does make a mess, make him clean himself and his clothes and change himself. Of course, you'll have to do it over, but the point is once he sees that he's stuck in the bathroom cleaning poopy pants while he could be playing and having fun, he'll decide it's easier just to go in the toliet.
Is he in preschool? If so, does he have accidents in school? Do the other kids tease him? How does the teacher deal? Does he have a younger sibling who still wears diapers? Is he jealous? I would talk to the pediatrician if I were you. Right before the age of 3 ours suggest NO pullups. She said that it makes it easier for the kids to just go. Underwear only. That did the trick.
He is in preschool and while he had accidents in the beginning of the year, he hasn't had any in the last few months. He has an older sibling who is 5. There is a fair amount of sibling rivalry between them which makes me wonder if this is just to get attention. But it's not positive attention.
He is in preschool and while he had accidents in the beginning of the year, he hasn't had any in the last few months. He has an older sibling who is 5. There is a fair amount of sibling rivalry between them which makes me wonder if this is just to get attention. But it's not positive attention.
We do underwear only and have for quite a while.
I find it interesting that it doesn't happen in school. That makes me believe he is deciding when to and when to not go. Is he very verbal? Can you get him to talk about it in anyway? Find out what his thoughts are?
I find it interesting that it doesn't happen in school. That makes me believe he is deciding when to and when to not go. Is he very verbal? Can you get him to talk about it in anyway? Find out what his thoughts are?
So it only happens at home? Maybe he is embarrassed to go at school, and then can't hold it at home. One of mine used to hold it because someone walked in on him once at preschool, and he never went there again.
Also, is he going #2 several times a day? He may also be getting too much of something (fiber, juice, greasy food, fruit?) that makes him go too often.
So it only happens at home? Maybe he is embarrassed to go at school, and then can't hold it at home. One of mine used to hold it because someone walked in on him once at preschool, and he never went there again.
Also, is he going #2 several times a day? He may also be getting too much of something (fiber, juice, greasy food, fruit?) that makes him go too often.
He is going #2 several times per day. He went 3 times yesterday, all in his pants.
This seems to be very deliberate. He doesn't tell us that it has happened until we notice it, but it's not like he's trying to hide it. He doesn't seem upset at all when we discover what he has done. He just seems to be making no effort at all, whereas in the past he was doing well.
He is going #2 several times per day. He went 3 times yesterday, all in his pants.
This seems to be very deliberate. He doesn't tell us that it has happened until we notice it, but it's not like he's trying to hide it. He doesn't seem upset at all when we discover what he has done. He just seems to be making no effort at all, whereas in the past he was doing well.
Has he recently started getting engaged in a new skill or getting more focused on what he is playing with, so that he doesn't want to stop to go to the potty?
Also, prior to the accidents, was he telling you when he needed to go or was he going only when you reminded him to sit on the potty?
Has he recently started getting engaged in a new skill or getting more focused on what he is playing with, so that he doesn't want to stop to go to the potty?
Also, prior to the accidents, was he telling you when he needed to go or was he going only when you reminded him to sit on the potty?
Regarding new skills & being focused on things--not that I am aware of, other than the standard 3 year old development stuff. Last night for example he was just sitting watching TV after dinner and I reminded him that he should be going potty as he hadn't gone in a while and he just looked at me and said "oh, I already went". I asked where and he said "right here".
Previously it was a combination...we had to remind him quite a bit but I would say that close to half of the time he would go on his own.
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