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I don't think it's fair to accuse me of exaggerating simply because my guests did not know how to behave appropriately in my home. Why do I have to spend 10 days worrying and stressing about putting passwords on my PC, telling the kids to stop doing this or that over and over? These parents should know how to behave in my house and how to have their kids behave in my house, or they should have the foresight to NOT STAY WITH US period, let alone for 10 days.
If I had kids, I would be MORTIFIED if my kids behaved like this in someone's house. MORTIFIED.
You may be right about one thing: Maybe when they go visit people with kids, all of the aforementioned things are perfectly acceptable. Things like remote controls flying, slamming doors, slamming the toilet seat down, dragging chairs across my wood floors for no reason, staying up until midnight singing the theme from SpongeBob, the kids using my computer at 11 pm to watch youtube vids while the parents are in the far-off living room watching TV & tuning out the kids, washing clothes from thrift stores.
Is this something that parent-hosts find OK? If so, then I guess I need to ban people with kids from staying at my house altogether.
I haven't seen a single poster indicate that the way your houseguests behaved was acceptable. They were morons. Don't have them back. Next time you have houseguests explain the house rules.
I don't think it's fair to accuse me of exaggerating simply because my guests did not know how to behave appropriately in my home. Why do I have to spend 10 days worrying and stressing about putting passwords on my PC, telling the kids to stop doing this or that over and over? These parents should know how to behave in my house and how to have their kids behave in my house, or they should have the foresight to NOT STAY WITH US period, let alone for 10 days.
If I had kids, I would be MORTIFIED if my kids behaved like this in someone's house. MORTIFIED.
You may be right about one thing: Maybe when they go visit people with kids, all of the aforementioned things are perfectly acceptable. Things like remote controls flying, slamming doors, slamming the toilet seat down, dragging chairs across my wood floors for no reason, staying up until midnight singing the theme from SpongeBob, the kids using my computer at 11 pm to watch youtube vids while the parents are in the far-off living room watching TV & tuning out the kids, washing clothes from thrift stores.
Is this something that parent-hosts find OK? If so, then I guess I need to ban people with kids from staying at my house altogether.
I think most of the responses you have received from the parents here have acknowledged that your guests' behavior was rude, on the whole. Yes, having guests with kids is different than hosting just adults, but it does not excuse the behavior you reported the children exhibited. I don't know that you're having a problem with rude guests including children as much as you are having a rude guest problem, period. Kibbie has good questions, IMO:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
I think you are spending too much energy and time worrying about whether or not the guests were rude or not. Most of us have agreed that they were rude. There is nothing you can do to change that now. What you can change is how you respond in the future. Will you ever have them as guests in your home again? If so, what will you do differently?
They definitely took advantage of you. Here are some rules we try to follow when visiting out of state relatives:
1) food: Once we're settled we'll go to the nearest supermarket and stock up on food our kids will likely eat during the week as well as groceries for our relatives (usually stuff they might not always buy for themselves like special desserts, steak, wine, etc.).
2) computers/possessions: Our kids know not to touch anything that's not theirs unless they ask for permission. That includes the TV remote.
3) Laundry: I'll ask before doing laundry at my in-laws. I'll usually take my dirty laundry home when staying with others. I buy a container of detergent and leave the rest of the container for my hosts when I leave.
4) adult time: Kids go to bed regular bedtime for the most part. During the day, we take them to local points of interest so our hosts can rest and not feel the need to constantly entertain.
5) Messes: We clean up after ourselves. Dishes are hand washed or put in the dishwasher. During our last day we strip the beds, offer to put the sheets in the wash, clean the bathroom from top to bottom and empty the waste paper baskets.
6) Thank you: We always say thank you by taking our hosts out for dinner. We usually follow up our visit with a thank-you card. Sometimes we send flowers or a gift certificate to a favorite shop or restaurant.
I don't know how you put up with your guests for as long as you did. You need to talk to your hubby and set some ground rules for their next visit. Their behavior was very inconsiderate to say the least.
These people are family, right? And they were told to make themselves at home. It sounds like they did just that. But you have very different lifestyles and expectations. I can imagine that for you, having kids singing SpongeBob after you had gone to bed would be incredibly disruptive. But I would also bet that the kids' parents probably don't even hear that - they're just used to it!
Forget the laundry already. Geez, how much did that truly cost you?
Anyway, if there is ever a next time (although I don't think it's a good idea - nothing personal, but just due to your quiet lifestyle vs that of a family with kids), speak up!
Say, "sorry kids, the computer isn't available." Tell the parents "we need quiet when we go to bed, thanks for making sure things quiet down at 10PM". "Kids, no slamming doors please." Take some initiative to let them know what's unacceptable, don't just stew about it.
I think these people scored a free room/board vacay at the OP's house and took full advantage in every way they could.
So, they've burned a bridge with the OP. I'm sure they'll find another sucker to host them next year. Maybe the OP and some of their other victims, I mean uh hosts, can share some war stories over a nice dinner some day,
They definitely took advantage of you. Here are some rules we try to follow when visiting out of state relatives:
1) food: Once we're settled we'll go to the nearest supermarket and stock up on food our kids will likely eat during the week as well as groceries for our relatives (usually stuff they might not always buy for themselves like special desserts, steak, wine, etc.).
2) computers/possessions: Our kids know not to touch anything that's not theirs unless they ask for permission. That includes the TV remote.
3) Laundry: I'll ask before doing laundry at my in-laws. I'll usually take my dirty laundry home when staying with others. I buy a container of detergent and leave the rest of the container for my hosts when I leave.
4) adult time: Kids go to bed regular bedtime for the most part. During the day, we take them to local points of interest so our hosts can rest and not feel the need to constantly entertain.
5) Messes: We clean up after ourselves. Dishes are hand washed or put in the dishwasher. During our last day we strip the beds, offer to put the sheets in the wash, clean the bathroom from top to bottom and empty the waste paper baskets.
6) Thank you: We always say thank you by taking our hosts out for dinner. We usually follow up our visit with a thank-you card. Sometimes we send flowers or a gift certificate to a favorite shop or restaurant.
I don't know how you put up with your guests for as long as you did. You need to talk to your hubby and set some ground rules for their next visit. Their behavior was very inconsiderate to say the least.
Wow! Do you want to visit me?
Actually, that is what we do and most of my friends and relatives do as well (except for the sending flowers or a gift card later part, hats off to you) when we visit others.
I wonder if the person who visited and did load after load of laundry before going home(posted a month or so ago) and then the SIL with the rude, inconsiderate family are sisters? Just like my family (all my siblings & me) buys food, helps clean, asks to use the TV or computer and controls our children maybe their family has different expectation and routines.
I'm also wondering OP, has your husband ever visited his sisters and how did they expect him to act in their house?
I would like to give LisaMc46 a great big cyber hug. For she is EXACTLY what I have been trying to explain is my expectation of ANY GUESTS staying in my house. Because that is EXACTLY how I would behave in someone else's house.
Instead, I have been called an exaggerator, a miser, etc.
I especially liked No. 4. Why is it that these people expected me to entertain their kids 24/7 for 10 days? They did not bring any toys, DVDs, games, etc. for these kids. They expected my childless home to provide adequate entertainment?????
Regarding my hubby, we do our best NEVER to stay in people's homes because we would much rather spend 300 dollars on a hotel than impose on anyone by staying in their house. We/he have never stayed at SIL's home b/c it's too small, no guest space.
Last edited by planedition; 07-15-2012 at 06:19 PM..
I would like to give LisaMc46 a great bug cyber hug. For she is EXACTLY what I have been trying to explain is my expectation of ANY GUESTS staying in my house. Because that is EXACTLY how I would behave in someone else's house.
Instead, I have been called an exaggerator, a miser, etc.
I especially liked No. 4. Why is it that these people expected me to entertain their kids 24/7 for 10 days? They did not bring any toys, DVDs, games, etc. for these kids. They expected my childless home to provide adequate entertainment?????
Regarding my hubby, we do our best NEVER to stay in people's homes because we would much rather spend 300 dollars on a hotel than impose on anyone by staying in their house.
I am gonna put my foot down and not allow these jerks to bug the crap out of me EVER AGAIN.
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