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And how close do you live to them? I'm wondering b/c my ex only chooses to see my 17 yo about 1x/week or even slightly less and then only for about an hour as he'll come over to get her and take her to a fastfood restaurant and then brings her right home. He almost never takes her over to his place and has never kept her for the night though he does take her on trips sometimes. He lives right here in the same city and about 20 min away so no excuse there. My college girl lives right over by him and I don't think he makes any effort with her at all. Is this normal? Average? I think it hurts the girls, esp as he was no more attentive when I was out of town every weekend attending to my dying mother. I wouldn't be so upset if he didn't blame me for everything that goes wrong with the girls, though I've had no help from anyone, since both grandparents were totally disinterested from the beginning. Oh heck, I guess this has turned into a rant but I'm wondering what other folks do.
I used to see my son whenever I could, and it's not much 1-2 times/week, 10 hrs +/-. Sometimes in the middle of a week. I live about 80 miles away. But for now I removed myself from his life. I'm not going to fight over every darn nothing with a disrespectful controlling biatch. It's not good for him to see. I gave her a simple choice, a father for her child or whatever nonsense she decided to do regardless of my opinion (there was no discussion to begin with, just a statement). She's made a predictable choice. And it was absolute non issue (for a sane woman) to argue about. She's chose her way over having a father for her child. It's not going to get any better in the future, so it's better to remove myself when he's very young. I'm not in a position to fight for a joint custody. I'll not be driving 80 miles to be empty space to be disrespected and disregarded, this kind of woman behavior is not good for him to see again. If she will not damage him beyond point of no return, I hope to be his father. Sounds somewhat cruel. But the point is, think twice before fathering a child with a woman, especially "independent" controlling biatches..
I used to see my son whenever I could, and it's not much 1-2 times/week, 10 hrs +/-. Sometimes in the middle of a week. I live about 80 miles away. But for now I removed myself from his life. I'm not going to fight over every darn nothing with a disrespectful controlling biatch. It's not good for him to see. I gave her a simple choice, a father for her child or whatever nonsense she decided to do regardless of my opinion. She's made a predictable choice. And it was absolute non issue (for a sane woman) to argue about. She's chose her way over having a father for her child. It's not going to get any better in the future, so it's better to remove myself when he's very young. I'm not in a position to fight for a joint custody. I'll not be driving 80 miles to be empty space to be disrespected and disregarded, this kind of woman behavior is not good for him to see again. If she will not damage him beyond point of no return, I hope to be his father. Sounds somewhat cruel. But the point is, think twice before fathering a child with a woman, especially "independent" controlling biatches..
Tragic you let your issues with an adult keep you from parenting your child.
I would never walk away from my child because it is clear that children do best with both parents in their lives. And to walk away over being inconvenienced is sad.
Tragic you let your issues with an adult keep you from parenting your child.
I would never walk away from my child because it is clear that children do best with both parents in their lives. And to walk away over being inconvenienced is sad.
No. Being inconvenienced AND having his feelings hurt.
I find that "seeing" your child doesn't make you a father. If you can see him (on her terms) and you contribute nothing to the decisions affecting his life (only child support), why fool yourself? What kind of fathering is that? If you can, fight for a full/joint custody. If you can't, you should have thought about this possibility before the act of conception. There is little you can do to remain a father.
I find that "seeing" your child doesn't make you a father. If you can see him (on her terms) and you contribute nothing to the decisions affecting his life (only child support), why fool yourself? What kind of fathering is that? If you can, fight for a full/joint custody. If you can't, you should have thought about this possibility before the act of conception. There is little you can do to remain a father.
It is the kind where it is better for a child to have a father, and no that his father loves him enough to put up with the drama.
What you have now told your child is he is not worth putting up with a PITA mom for.
The custody agreement I have is a 50/50 split. One week with my daughter one week without and on the week without I have her for 4 hours on Wed. night. The ex and I live within 5 miles of each other which makes it easier. When my ex asked for a divorce I told her that the only 2 things I wanted were my daughter and the dog. If she wouldn't agree to that I'd fight her with every dollar I have and everything I could borrow.
Let's NOT forget the dog.
Hell or high water...you won't take my dog.
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