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I am not sure this forum is the right one for my question, if not please move it to the right one. But I figured many people here in the Parenting forum might have some insights or found themselves in similar shoes.
So basically my wife has been a stay-at-home mom for several years now, and our kids are finally of an age that is more appropriate for my wife to pursue a professional career since the oldest is in full time school and the youngest is in part time preschool, and it is not a financial stretch to move to full time preschool.
The challenge we are facing is that she has been out of the workforce for so long, and never really solidified any sort of "defined" career path or experience skillset that clearly points her in a specific direction or marks her as "very hire-able". I guess this is not an uncommon situation since most wives in our neighborhood and among friends we know are also SAHMs in similar situations. Since I and other husbands have pretty decent paying jobs, there has been no overwhelming need for them to work a traditional job.
So basically my wife is 40 years old and I feel she is a bit down about not "being accomplished" career wise, and at this stage in our lives it's not feasible (financially or timewise) to purse a traditional 4-6 year college degree that would easily net her a career. Furthermore it's difficult as a 40 year old woman with few qualifications to jump-start a satisfying career when encumbered with a young family and meager experience set.
In the past, we have had discussions on what lines of work she might excel in but I find she cannot concentrate on the topic of thinking up what she wants to do because she is busy and tired from taking care of the kids and house chores day to day. By the end of the day she is so pooped (and I am too from my full time job) from taking care of the kids all the way to bedtime (like 8:00-9:00pm) she is not inclined to think critically or introspectively.
For those who have or are in similar shoes, how did you overcome such challenges? How did you get out of "stay at home mom" thinking mode? How did you identify likely areas of career paths suitable for such a life-situation?
Her and I have rough ideas of what would be appropriate for her:
-Not a "simple" or "low skilled" job like a cashier or barista since that would not be very fulfilling nor financially sensical due to the offset of paying for extra preschool/daycare
-Maybe enter a 1-2 year college or certification program that will likely give her the education and resume that would make her much more hireable and likely to land a job
Alright that's enough for now, I don't want to write a book. Any ideas and experiences shared would be super!
I am not sure this forum is the right one for my question, if not please move it to the right one. But I figured many people here in the Parenting forum might have some insights or found themselves in similar shoes.
So basically my wife has been a stay-at-home mom for several years now, and our kids are finally of an age that is more appropriate for my wife to pursue a professional career since the oldest is in full time school and the youngest is in part time preschool, and it is not a financial stretch to move to full time preschool.
The challenge we are facing is that she has been out of the workforce for so long, and never really solidified any sort of "defined" career path or experience skillset that clearly points her in a specific direction or marks her as "very hire-able". I guess this is not an uncommon situation since most wives in our neighborhood and among friends we know are also SAHMs in similar situations. Since I and other husbands have pretty decent paying jobs, there has been no overwhelming need for them to work a traditional job.
So basically my wife is 40 years old and I feel she is a bit down about not "being accomplished" career wise, and at this stage in our lives it's not feasible (financially or timewise) to purse a traditional 4-6 year college degree that would easily net her a career. Furthermore it's difficult as a 40 year old woman with few qualifications to jump-start a satisfying career when encumbered with a young family and meager experience set.
In the past, we have had discussions on what lines of work she might excel in but I find she cannot concentrate on the topic of thinking up what she wants to do because she is busy and tired from taking care of the kids and house chores day to day. By the end of the day she is so pooped (and I am too from my full time job) from taking care of the kids all the way to bedtime (like 8:00-9:00pm) she is not inclined to think critically or introspectively.
For those who have or are in similar shoes, how did you overcome such challenges? How did you get out of "stay at home mom" thinking mode? How did you identify likely areas of career paths suitable for such a life-situation?
Her and I have rough ideas of what would be appropriate for her:
-Not a "simple" or "low skilled" job like a cashier or barista since that would not be very fulfilling nor financially sensical due to the offset of paying for extra preschool/daycare
-Maybe enter a 1-2 year college or certification program that will likely give her the education and resume that would make her much more hireable and likely to land a job
Alright that's enough for now, I don't want to write a book. Any ideas and experiences shared would be super!
thanks.
What did she do for work prior to having children? Does she want to go back to work?
Prior to having kids, she worked a variety of jobs (a mix of part time or full time) none of which I would say she found very fulfilling or stimulating: clerical library services, quality technician in a small tech company, she also tried her hand at investment brokerage.
She definitely does want to work yes. It doesn't have to be a hardcore full blown career like a doctor or engineer...I feel she would be happy with something to take away from the every day mundane-ness of dealing with things centering around children and household upkeeping.
I would say strengths and interests of hers that immediately come to mind are politics, fluency in the Arabic language, and health services or related fields. Her weaknesses are in computers and technology related areas.
Prior to having kids, she worked a variety of jobs (a mix of part time or full time) none of which I would say she found very fulfilling or stimulating: clerical library services, quality technician in a small tech company, she also tried her hand at investment brokerage.
She definitely does want to work yes. It doesn't have to be a hardcore full blown career like a doctor or engineer...I feel she would be happy with something to take away from the every day mundane-ness of dealing with things centering around children and household upkeeping.
I would say strengths and interests of hers that immediately come to mind are politics, fluency in the Arabic language, and health services or related fields. Her weaknesses are in computers and technology related areas.
Weakness in computers is easily overcome with a community college class or two. If she likes the health field, medical coding/billing, or other type of certified program can get her in at a doctors office and will give her hours that might suit your needs well. Additionally, even with a couple of semesters of basic computer courses to get her up to speed, it should only take 2 years.
Maybe she would enjoy working for a non-profit? Or in a medical office? I base that on her interest in politics and health services. She could get certifications to be a Medical assistant which would not take long at all or an RN but she could start by applying for front desk positions as that would giver her an idea if she liked that type of work environment.
I am always for getting more info:
1. What is the cost of afterschool care for children in your area, assuming she gets a full time job? Remember that schools only cover part of the work day even though they call it full time school. There are days off, breaks, summer, sickness, etc. so who will cover these days off?
2. What things are you willing to give up? For example, the afterschool activities that require one parent to provide transportation. The home cooked meals for the times she is too tired or busy to cook, the well kept house since there is little time.
3. What are you willing to pick up in the split of household and child care duties that will be required if your wife goes back to work?
4. What is your wife interested in? If she is too tired to talk about it or look into it herself, does she even have the interest or ambition? The "too tired" is an excuse.
5. In today's economy, there are hundreds or thousands looking for meaningful and well paid work. If it was easy to just pick this or that certification program and it would guarantee the perfect job, we would not have the unemployment issues we have today.
I could go on and on but at 40 your wife is also "older" and that is a big strick in the business world today. What did she do from 18 until she had kids?
I'd investigate what options are out there for fluency in Arabic. Depending on where you live, that will potentially open up opportunities. With fluency in Arabic she could potentially land decent jobs that would otherwise require a degree. If she's eligible to get security clearance that would open up Arabic language translation government jobs, for example. Otherwise there are all sorts of other types of jobs where a second language is desirable. What the demand is like for Arabic translators or bilingual employees will presumably depend on your location, of course, but I'd definitely pursue that option, as it's a skill that sets her apart from the competition. It's a major asset!
I agree that part of her problem is a personality issue resulting in lack of "drive" when it comes to work or career. I think it is definitely compounded by the many years of being a stay at home mom though. Like, if I suddenly became a full time stay at home dad for 6-7 years I would have a hard time driving myself to get back into the workforce because the obstacles (increased age, lack of recent experience, relevant skills for the industry, etc) would seem daunting.
To be frank, I don't think it's just my wife though. I notice it as a general truism of many mothers. Go walk through a shopping mall or something in the middle of a workday and you will overwhelmingly see that most of the adults are either women, mothers, or the elderly.
Anyway, keep the ideas coming, I would also love to hear the experiences of other husbands or wives who went through such a transition.
I agree that part of her problem is a personality issue resulting in lack of "drive" when it comes to work or career. I think it is definitely compounded by the many years of being a stay at home mom though. Like, if I suddenly became a full time stay at home dad for 6-7 years I would have a hard time driving myself to get back into the workforce because the obstacles (increased age, lack of recent experience, relevant skills for the industry, etc) would seem daunting.
To be frank, I don't think it's just my wife though. I notice it as a general truism of many mothers. Go walk through a shopping mall or something in the middle of a workday and you will overwhelmingly see that most of the adults are either women, mothers, or the elderly.
Anyway, keep the ideas coming, I would also love to hear the experiences of other husbands or wives who went through such a transition.
Confused here.....if your wife lacks drive, that's going to be an issue if she is looking for "more than" menial/unskilled labor type jobs. In this economy, there are plenty of people looking for jobs who are driven. Guess who will be getting the jobs that require more than just showing up and doing a basic level of work? Is she actually lazy or just intimidated?
I have no idea what you meant by the mall situation....are you indicated people at the mall lack drive? Most people who are home during the day, to walk in the mall probably are women or retired. Not sure what it has to do with drive. Oh well.....
I absolutely think she ought to think about what's available using her language skills.
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