Biracial child: What to do? (ideas, teaching, baby, parents)
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One of my best friends is White, and the father is Black. This baby was totally unexpected, they were not in relationship and they don't even talk all that much anymore. The baby is really cute, almost a year old now and she has done a great job so far, the little girl is very precious
Anyways, she has done whatever she can to keep this baby away from the "Black" side of the family. The baby has a very "White" name and has had very little contact with the Dad and his in-laws. I was talking to her the other day and she was like "Well, I don't want them teaching her any ignorant, ghetto ****".
Anyways, my friend is one of the least racist people I know- BUT I can understand her concern. At the same time, I feel like the Dad's family should be able to see the baby too. I have to say, the father does not have much to offer this child anyways, he smokes weed, drinks heavily, has not been involved in her life since day 1 and he was recently diagnosed with cancer, so he may not even live much longer. In a way, I understand her concerns and it has nothing to do with his race. Thoughts?
She should have been more concerned with the Father's lack of "not much to offer" before this little unexpected gift arrived. It doesn't appear to be much of an issue since she wasn't that concerned before so why the drastic change in her opinion of this guy and it is really very hard to understand how you can actually say she is "The least racist" when she has voiced the above statements.
The question I have to you is why do you care, not your child, your girlfriend or your issue to deal with.
Lol, as a biracial adult of the same persuasion, the child's about to go through a hard life with that type of mom.
I should write a book...or maybe my mom should.
My thoughts are...
When it comes down to it, black people accept biracial people as their own, whereas white people think of biracial people as outsiders.
Her mother won't change that...she'll lose that battle and make her child's life harder as a consequence.
Best thing she can do is to start thinking from her child's perspective...deal with the reality as it is...and start incorporating that into how she rears the child. Though, with that type of language, I'm not sure how practical that advice is....
The question I have to you is why do you care, not your child, your girlfriend or your issue to deal with.
I care because she is one of my best friends and I have been involved in this child's life since day 1, I am her Godfather. We have been talking about the future of this child lately and she has some great plans, ideas and goals for this child.
I really don't want her exposed to the "other" side of their family either not because of their race but because I feel like they are going to undo all the good things she has done for this child so far. If you want to call us racist, be it but it has nothing to do with race, we both want this girl to be the best she can be, simple as that
To be fair, he probably doesn't care all that much about not seeing the kid anyway. I have a friend in a similiar situation (child as a result of a one nighter) and he totally wishes it never happened. He tries to see his kid once a month, but you can tell he really hates being a father and the responsiblity that comes with it.
That said, the mother should let the guy's family spend time with the kid, but if she notices anything negative, she should then cut off the contact.
**As a sidenote, this really has nothing to do with race, but rather the kid being around negative influences. I have no idea how the kid being biracial is relevant.
I care because she is one of my best friends and I have been involved in this child's life since day 1, I am her Godfather. We have been talking about the future of this child lately and she has some great plans, ideas and goals for this child.
I really don't want her exposed to the "other" side of their family either not because of their race but because I feel like they are going to undo all the good things she has done for this child so far. If you want to call us racist, be it but it has nothing to do with race, we both want this girl to be the best she can be, simple as that
If so, what does her being biracial have to do with anything? Shield her from bad influences, black or white, the 'other side of her family' or yours, and leave race out of it altogether.
let the child have some supervised time with its father, the man is dieing. let his last few years be with the few things he can find enjoyment in. it may enlighten him.
at this point it doesn't matter what the mother wants, she already made the choice to have a "horrible" daddy situation when she had sex with him and they have done NOTHING wrong to this child. as long as she goes with and is there to know what the child is around there is no harm done.
drop the ego's and let the child attempt to have "some" memory of his father before he is not around to have memories made from. if he doesn't want anything to do with the child or acts a fool with in front, cut him out of any care giving. its a non issue in both cases at that point.
Race is a very important factor here, regardless of what you think. One of the concerns that she has, is his family trying to teach her negative things about Whites--this is one of her main concerns and I don't want her mind polluted with this ignorant garbage either.
I know a kid who was in a similar situation-he is 20 years old now- he was raised by a White Mom, black Dad was totally absent. He grew up in a White neighborhood- deep inside, he knows he is "different", he may even tell people that he is "Black" but culturally he can't even relate to most Black people.
He just married a White girl and I think her daughter may turn out like this guy- he is aware of being "Black" or "different" but unable to relate to most Black people because the White half/influences were stronger.
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