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I'm not sure that make sense when we don't need the money to pay her expenses. Seems like taking what's hers for our benefit. Technically, I could take all the money and claim I spent it on her support by allotting her a portion of the house payment, utility bills, food bills, clothing, etc, etc, etc... The question is, would doing so be moral?
If I needed the money, as my dad did after my mom died (he used all of the SS for the younger kids to pay the bills because that's what he had to do to keep a roof over their heads), I'd have no problem taking it. The problem is, I don't need it so what is the right thing to do with it?
Well if you really want to bring morality into it, then you don't accept the money because you don't need it.
UGH. Reading comprehension..... I've already stated that dd#1 benefits indirectly as she will get everything we put away for college from our incomes.
It's not an issue of justifying my actions but of keeping with the intent of the government. Dd#2 is a minor, this needs to be set aside for her needs because that is what the government intended. Dd#1 benefits in that we won't be spending money on dd#2 that we would have otherwise. That's now for her.
reading comprehension?? I understand perfectly the dozens of posters that have been trying to tell you the same thing.... it is you that is having difficulties understanding.
I guess I must be a glutton for punishment.... but I'll try one more time....
The government is not "intending" to give that money to your DD#2. The purpose it to provide for her living expenses so that your husband's retirement income does not have to be used to raise a minor child.
If you were setting aside $100 a month for each of your kid's college, now setting aside $200 for DD#1 while DD#2 gets the $1,000 a month is not, under any stretch of the imagination, fair. Do what you want, but why go online and ask advice when you clearly have no intention on taking the consensus into consideration and being fair to DD#1? Enjoy her resentment and hostility when she realizes your clear favoritism (if she doesn't already).
I'm not sure that make sense when we don't need the money to pay her expenses. Seems like taking what's hers for our benefit. Technically, I could take all the money and claim I spent it on her support by allotting her a portion of the house payment, utility bills, food bills, clothing, etc, etc, etc... The question is, would doing so be moral?
If I needed the money, as my dad did after my mom died (he used all of the SS for the younger kids to pay the bills because that's what he had to do to keep a roof over their heads), I'd have no problem taking it. The problem is, I don't need it so what is the right thing to do with it?
IMHO, it is perfectly moral. Supporting a minor child is exactly what that money is intended for.
IMHO, it is perfectly moral. Supporting a minor child is exactly what that money is intended for.
Interestingly, our financial advisor says to make it go away. He says putting it into accounts for either dd will only result in them qualifying for less financial aid for college. His recommendation is to use it to reduce the amount dh takes out of his IRA each year which will reduce our income (the money is considered dd's income not ours) which will increase the amount of financial aid the girls will qualify for (dd#1 will not qualify, initially, but once both girls are in college, they will both qualify for some financial aid once any monies set asside just for college are spent. Fortunately, we chose, years ago to put the college savings into dh's IRA so it could grow untaxed knowing that dh would be retired before they enetered college and access to the money would not be an issue)). The money, would then still be there in the IRA for use later if we need it. Not sure how we get this one to fly past the government though. Are they going to buy it was all spent on her? Fortunately, she is my expensive child. Her piano lessons alone are more than $3K/year.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 04-04-2013 at 08:15 AM..
Not sure how we get this one to fly past the government though. Are they going to buy it was all spent on her? Fortunately, she is my expensive child. Her piano lessons alone are more than $3K/year.
The SSA is not going to go over your annual report with a fine-toothed comb! We're not talking the IRS and federal income taxes here. I already posted a link to the form...you can see it's pretty simplistic.
Maybe this is a good time to STOP talking about this on the forum...just in case someone from the SSA is reading your posts.
Interestingly, our financial advisor says to make it go away. He says putting it into accounts for either dd will only result in them qualifying for less financial aid for college. His recommendation is to use it to reduce the amount dh takes out of his IRA each year which will reduce our income (the money is considered dd's income not ours) which will increase the amount of financial aid the girls will qualify for (dd#1 will not qualify, initially, but once both girls are in college, they will both qualify for some financial aid once any monies set asside just for college are spent. Fortunately, we chose, years ago to put the college savings into dh's IRA so it could grow untaxed knowing that dh would be retired before they enetered college and access to the money would not be an issue)). The money, would then still be there in the IRA for use later if we need it. Not sure how we get this one to fly past the government though. Are they going to buy it was all spent on her? Fortunately, she is my expensive child. Her piano lessons alone are more than $3K/year.
I remember one of your posts far, far earlier in this thread where you said that you couldn't possible imagine that you spent $12,000 a year on your daughter's food, clothing and all of her expenses.
I disagreed and suggested that if you added up everything (toiletries, dentist bills, contact lenses, hair cuts, AP course exam fees, etc, etc) you would be shocked at the total amount.
And, now she is your "expensive child" with piano lessons alone costing more than $3,000 a year. Sheesh.
I remember one of your posts far, far earlier in this thread where you said that you couldn't possible imagine that you spent $12,000 a year on your daughter's food, clothing and all of her expenses.
I disagreed and suggested that if you added up everything (toiletries, dentist bills, contact lenses, hair cuts, AP course exam fees, etc, etc) you would be shocked at the total amount.
And, now she is your "expensive child" with piano lessons alone costing more than $3,000 a year. Sheesh.
I still think we're going to be hard pressed to come up with $12k/year we spend just on her. $3k is a start. There's still $9k to go.
The SSA is not going to go over your annual report with a fine-toothed comb! We're not talking the IRS and federal income taxes here. I already posted a link to the form...you can see it's pretty simplistic.
Maybe this is a good time to STOP talking about this on the forum...just in case someone from the SSA is reading your posts.
I can see that it's a simple form. I'm just not sure where we're going to come up with $12k+ in expenses that are just hers. If she didn't live here, I'd pay less for groceries, wouldn't pay for her piano lessons, and wouldn't pay for her clothes but all of that only accounts for half of what the government is giving her. We'll see what happens when we fill out the report. Lord knows she doesn't eat $9k in food. We'll put down everything we can and see how much it covers. We'll find out how the government handles the part we can't cover when we get there. The worst case scenario is they tell us to put it in a college fund for her.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 04-04-2013 at 12:14 PM..
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