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Anyone have experience with this? Maybe you homeschooled or had your kid in a small private or charter then made a big change?
My son is fifteen. He skipped a grade but also has a late birthday (mid September) so he is in 10th grade currently. He spent his early school years in a teeny tiny private school where he never had more than 12 kids in class and the entire student body (pre-K through 4th grade) was never more than about 75 kids total.
After that he moved to a public charter, where the entire school population (K through 12th) is 500 kids. The WHOLE school. He doesn't have a ton of friends but he has a few great ones, all kids he's known since jr. high, and he has acquaintances he gets along with as well. He's not exactly "popular" but safe to say he is well liked.
He does not like the school for various reasons, though, and has begged me for a year now to change schools. I am not happy with the school either and I'd been looking into other options, some magnet schools and so forth but, as it turns out, we need to move this summer, to another city just over an hour away. The new school is in a town of about 50k people. It is the ONLY high school in town and the student body numbers around 2500. The building itself is enormous.
It is definitely going to be much more structured than what he is used to, and of course much much BIGGER. He is excited and anxious at the same time. I am imagining him lost and friendless, of course (or bullied!), in a typical worrying mom way but of course I am keeping that all to myself.
I'm just wondering what we can do to ease the transition and help him succeed at the new school for his junior and senior years? I am also kind of worried about how he will do academically. He is very bright (most likely he'd test as gifted but no G&T program at that school), but has gotten away with a lot of slacking off at his current school. I think that realizing that teachers won't let him slide simply because they recognize his "genius" is going to be a shocker!
We will be close enough for him to still visit with his friends from here at least a couple times a month so I am not too worried about that.
Just a thought, we moved our DD 2000 miles and this involved a new school. She too attended a small Charter school and was then put into a somewhat larger public school. One thing we did, we moved with about 6 weeks left in the school year. There were several advantages to this and in hindsight no real disadvantages. DD got to be the new kid all by herself. The school went to great lengths to help her feel welcome, they gave her lots of individual attention, assigned kids to show her around and hang out with her at lunch etc until she acclimated. This was a far better scenario than being the new kid during the chaos of a the first day of school following a long summer. She was also able to make a few new friends that she was able to do things with over the summer. I know so many people think wait till the school year is over but honestly, coming into a new school as the only new kid had a ton of advantages.
To me, this is the most important part of your post. ^^
Most of the rest involves YOUR anxiety, and you've said you're trying to keep that to yourself. Thank goodness.
But what really matters in this situation is what he thinks will work best for him. Sure, he has some natural anxiety, but he's excited, and that's the best news. He's been telling you all along that he's ready for a change. I'm betting he will do great.
Our school has a "transition academy" in the summer for new students. Summer sports leagues or library programs are also a good way to meet people.
In my experience, though, you can't guarantee a smooth transition. I have twins a bit older than your son. One of them is like a 40-year-old and could probably run the household if I dropped dead. The other one, though, is like an absent-minded professor who is extremely shy. He can't remember why he goes from one room to the next.
I had been dealing with these quirks of his since toddlerhood and prepping him for independence. Even so, he was the first kid in his 6th-grade class (the middle-school transition year here) to get a demerit because he had gotten three "strikes" for breaking rules such as forgetting books in his locker and dropping papers in the hallway. He was embarrassed, then figured out that he did not like those negative consequences and figured out a system to remember his stuff.
In a year your son will be legally allowed to drive himself around town, so hopefully he can navigate the hallways of a large building and manage relationships with people he didn't necessarily choose to be around.
Growing up is HARD on moms! But it's necessary.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 04-04-2013 at 06:17 AM..
Anyone have experience with this? Maybe you homeschooled or had your kid in a small private or charter then made a big change?
My son is fifteen. He skipped a grade but also has a late birthday (mid September) so he is in 10th grade currently. He spent his early school years in a teeny tiny private school where he never had more than 12 kids in class and the entire student body (pre-K through 4th grade) was never more than about 75 kids total.
After that he moved to a public charter, where the entire school population (K through 12th) is 500 kids. The WHOLE school. He doesn't have a ton of friends but he has a few great ones, all kids he's known since jr. high, and he has acquaintances he gets along with as well. He's not exactly "popular" but safe to say he is well liked.
He does not like the school for various reasons, though, and has begged me for a year now to change schools. I am not happy with the school either and I'd been looking into other options, some magnet schools and so forth but, as it turns out, we need to move this summer, to another city just over an hour away. The new school is in a town of about 50k people. It is the ONLY high school in town and the student body numbers around 2500. The building itself is enormous.
It is definitely going to be much more structured than what he is used to, and of course much much BIGGER. He is excited and anxious at the same time. I am imagining him lost and friendless, of course (or bullied!), in a typical worrying mom way but of course I am keeping that all to myself.
I'm just wondering what we can do to ease the transition and help him succeed at the new school for his junior and senior years? I am also kind of worried about how he will do academically. He is very bright (most likely he'd test as gifted but no G&T program at that school), but has gotten away with a lot of slacking off at his current school. I think that realizing that teachers won't let him slide simply because they recognize his "genius" is going to be a shocker!
We will be close enough for him to still visit with his friends from here at least a couple times a month so I am not too worried about that.
My kids also moved from a very small school, <400, to a school with almost 2700 kids. A lot of the anxiety was finding their way around the building, so we did a tour initially, and then attended the open house for all students held right before classes began. At that point, they had their schedules, and could find the classrooms they needed to without the hallways being clogged with students.
Build on the "excited" aspect. That's great for him, he sounds open to the challenge.
Academically, the guidance office should be able to place him in proper classes. High schools don't have GT tracks, they have AP and honor's classes. There is usually a lot more work in the AP variety, so he needs to be prepared for that.
The faster he gets involved in extra-curriculars, the faster he will make friends. In a typical high school day, there isn't enough time between classes to get to know other kids, so it would be in his best interest to join one of the many sports or clubs offered.
Just a thought, we moved our DD 2000 miles and this involved a new school. She too attended a small Charter school and was then put into a somewhat larger public school. One thing we did, we moved with about 6 weeks left in the school year. There were several advantages to this and in hindsight no real disadvantages. DD got to be the new kid all by herself. The school went to great lengths to help her feel welcome, they gave her lots of individual attention, assigned kids to show her around and hang out with her at lunch etc until she acclimated. This was a far better scenario than being the new kid during the chaos of a the first day of school following a long summer. She was also able to make a few new friends that she was able to do things with over the summer. I know so many people think wait till the school year is over but honestly, coming into a new school as the only new kid had a ton of advantages.
Although my background is at the elementary level I agree with the above poster. Most parents move over the summer but moving a month or six weeks before school ends has many advantages. If that isn't feasible I would recommend seeing if there are some summer programs at the new school, perhaps a club or sport that starts in the summer.
No personal experience, but I think your own fears and anxiety are getting the best of you. He is excited and doesn't sound like he's shaking in his boots, so try to relax and let him enjoy the experience. Which, I know, is not easy...we're moms, we're supposed to worry! But it sounds like he'll be fine. Kids adjust so much easier than we give them credit for.
To me, this is the most important part of your post. ^^
Most of the rest involves YOUR anxiety, and you've said you're trying to keep that to yourself. Thank goodness.
But what really matters in this situation is what he thinks will work best for him. Sure, he has some natural anxiety, but he's excited, and that's the best news. He's been telling you all along that he's ready for a change. I'm betting he will do great.
Our school has a "transition academy" in the summer for new students. Summer sports leagues or library programs are also a good way to meet people.
In my experience, though, you can't guarantee a smooth transition. I have twins a bit older than your son. One of them is like a 40-year-old and could probably run the household if I dropped dead. The other one, though, is like an absent-minded professor who is extremely shy. He can't remember why he goes from one room to the next.
I had been dealing with these quirks of his since toddlerhood and prepping him for independence. Even so, he was the first kid in his 6th-grade class (the middle-school transition year here) to get a demerit because he had gotten three "strikes" for breaking rules such as forgetting books in his locker and dropping papers in the hallway. He was embarrassed, then figured out that he did not like those negative consequences and figured out a system to remember his stuff.
In a year your son will be legally allowed to drive himself around town, so hopefully he can navigate the hallways of a large building and manage relationships with people he didn't necessarily choose to be around.
Growing up is HARD on moms! But it's necessary.
^^^This. When my company transferred my job to a much larger city; I debated about not going.
But when I mentioned just driving up to see the city - my son was excited to go. AND - before we went, he emailed (on his own, mind you) a local swim coach and got an invite to swim with their team while we were here. I think that shocked me more than anything.
But, his willingness to move and the proactive steps he took told me something. He was ready to go. He had outgrown his small town and his small school. I'm thinking things weren't going ALL that great for him - though they seemed find on the surface and he had never said anything to me.
Bottom line - getting him into a bigger environment and out of the tiny fishbowl we lived in - was the best thing I ever did for him.
Yes, the first few months were hard and he did spend some time alone. But he found his niche, his group, his place and his world expanded. He tells me now he would never go back.
I hope your son makes the transition easily and finds his place.
DD got to be the new kid all by herself. The school went to great lengths to help her feel welcome, they gave her lots of individual attention, assigned kids to show her around and hang out with her at lunch etc until she acclimated. This was a far better scenario than being the new kid during the chaos of a the first day of school following a long summer.
In my son's case, we moved to a new town the summer between elementary and junior high. That way he was allowed to attend his elementary school year-end "graduation" with his friends since kindergarten, then spend a few weeks getting to know his way around our new town. When junior high started in the fall, kids from three different schools were starting at the same time, so he didn't feel so conspicuous as a "new" student, because no kids knew more than a third of the other students there, and he found some friends right away. He attended a very small elementary school and a large junior high, and actually found it easier to make more meaningful friendships when he had a larger number of kids to interact with and choose from.
Anyone have experience with this? Maybe you homeschooled or had your kid in a small private or charter then made a big change?
My son is fifteen. He skipped a grade but also has a late birthday (mid September) so he is in 10th grade currently. He spent his early school years in a teeny tiny private school where he never had more than 12 kids in class and the entire student body (pre-K through 4th grade) was never more than about 75 kids total.
After that he moved to a public charter, where the entire school population (K through 12th) is 500 kids. The WHOLE school. He doesn't have a ton of friends but he has a few great ones, all kids he's known since jr. high, and he has acquaintances he gets along with as well. He's not exactly "popular" but safe to say he is well liked.
He does not like the school for various reasons, though, and has begged me for a year now to change schools. I am not happy with the school either and I'd been looking into other options, some magnet schools and so forth but, as it turns out, we need to move this summer, to another city just over an hour away. The new school is in a town of about 50k people. It is the ONLY high school in town and the student body numbers around 2500. The building itself is enormous.
It is definitely going to be much more structured than what he is used to, and of course much much BIGGER. He is excited and anxious at the same time. I am imagining him lost and friendless, of course (or bullied!), in a typical worrying mom way but of course I am keeping that all to myself.
I'm just wondering what we can do to ease the transition and help him succeed at the new school for his junior and senior years? I am also kind of worried about how he will do academically. He is very bright (most likely he'd test as gifted but no G&T program at that school), but has gotten away with a lot of slacking off at his current school. I think that realizing that teachers won't let him slide simply because they recognize his "genius" is going to be a shocker!
We will be close enough for him to still visit with his friends from here at least a couple times a month so I am not too worried about that.
Would you be moving in time to get him in on any kind of summer program at that school -- if they have any? That would help him get comfortable with the new campus and maybe even make some friends or acquaintances.
Since he doesn't like the school he's currently in, and he's excited, he has an advantage. He can let go and is looking forward. Otherwise I agree with those who suggested taking a good tour, helping him learn where all the different rooms are, getting him comfortable with the physical layout so he's not wandering around lost his first week.
Helping him find a club to join or sport if he likes sports will give him opportunities to meet with kids outside class.
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