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How many of those who support child abuse, like larrytxeast above, hit their children in the heat of the moment, on an impulse and not with a cool head?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that most do.
We don’t allow adults to stirke one another in anger or as punishment for an infraction. In fact, we would consider that ASSAULT.
We don’t allow children to hit each other — indeed, we actively discourage it.
So why do some believe it’s OK for an adult to strike a child?
How many of those who support child abuse, like larrytxeast above, hit their children in the heat of the moment, on an impulse and not with a cool head?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that most do.
We don’t allow adults to stirke one another in anger or as punishment for an infraction. In fact, we would consider that ASSAULT.
We don’t allow children to hit each other — indeed, we actively discourage it.
So why do some believe it’s OK for an adult to strike a child?
I try not to comment on these spanking threads since views vary wildly and people never agree. I do think you are putting some words into larrytxeast's mouth that he never said. Reread the post. He is not supporting child abuse or hitting children on impulse. Merely expressing frustration in a very colorful way about people imposing their parenting styles on others. Sorry but I don't see anyone here advocating child abuse.
The story he told about the La Porte, TX woman being arrested is horrifying.
I was entirely anti-spanking - until my child turned about 2.5 and went through a devil child phase, lol. I actually don't spank him - but that's only because the 2-3 times that we have done it, it did nothing to change his behaviour and only made us feel terrible so we stopped. Other methods work better with him. That said, I no longer freak out and get all sanctimonious like I used to when I see a parent discipline their kid in public, or even just obviously lose their temper - as long as there is no outright abuse like beating of course. For example, one time in my son's gymnastics class, a mom was trying to leave with her four year old twin sons and 18 month old daughter. One of the twins wouldn't leave, starts acting up, crying, running away. The mom tries to be all proper, speaks in a calm firm voice, asks him to leave nicely over and over, tries to grab his arm, he starts hitting and kicking her and she's got the baby in her arms, at that point she raises her voice more and more as she's trying to drag him out, kid's in full meltdown mode by now, screaming his head off, kicking and trying to get away. They finally manage to leave and then I see her outside getting him into the car and swatting his butt several times. Really don't blame her - kid had it coming, imo. I could see she was really trying to keep it together and handle him in the 'right' way but ended up just losing it, and like I said really can't blame her. However, someone who didn't witness the scene inside and just saw her in the parking lot would probably freak out thinking she's just spanking her child for no good reason. Don't judge.
When you saw this woman struggling, why didn't you offer to help her? You could have offered to hold the 18 month old, for example.
I don't blame the mom for *losing it* in that situation, but if others in the venue had been willing to help her out, it might have been avoided.
How many of those who support child abuse, like larrytxeast above, hit their children in the heat of the moment, on an impulse and not with a cool head?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that most do.
We don’t allow adults to stirke one another in anger or as punishment for an infraction. In fact, we would consider that ASSAULT.
We don’t allow children to hit each other — indeed, we actively discourage it.
So why do some believe it’s OK for an adult to strike a child?
because some kids only seem to "get it", when they get a smack.
seriously, I hate these modern day parents with their cute little "time outs", please, give me a break.
How many of those who support child abuse, like larrytxeast above, hit their children in the heat of the moment, on an impulse and not with a cool head?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that most do.
We don’t allow adults to stirke one another in anger or as punishment for an infraction. In fact, we would consider that ASSAULT.
We don’t allow children to hit each other — indeed, we actively discourage it.
So why do some believe it’s OK for an adult to strike a child?
You are not out on a limb with your statement. It is logic. If you want to in the end have reasonable adult children you had better start early and teach them the profits of adhering to reason. Be patient and reason with them early. The first time you strike them they will begin to learn one thing..to be secretive and to cause offense and make sure they are not caught the next time.
You want them to be good and smart people. Hitting them ensures that they can never fully trust you. All of my four adult children confide in me about everything. We were never a family of secrets. My most regrettable moment in child rearing was dealing my the oldest..who was a step son. I found a cigarette butt - I caught him smoking...my reaction was harsh and I literally grabbed him by the scruff of the neck...I was a hypocrite..because I myself was a heavy smoker. I should have reasoned with him..but I lost control because I realized what a life long curse tobacco use can be.
Parents are afraid that their kid will turn out bad...It is a case of having faith in the child. My youngest bought a motorcycle - I was totally worried that he would die or lose a limb...Finally I had to let go and have faith> Faith in the idea that I had brought up a sensible young man. Hitting your kids might be caused by a touch of panic and fear of the future. Don't be afraid..trust yourself - and be reasonable.
seriously, I hate these modern day parents with their cute little "time outs", please, give me a break.
Because other parents have found something that works for them you "hate" them. Over reaction much?
I can only laugh at this notion people seem to have sometimes that there is one "correct" path towards any aspect of rearing children and that if something - such as slapping your child around - worked for them then that must automatically be the "right" way. So now anyone who finds a different way also works are "hateful" and "wrong" or are deserving of passive aggressive diminutives such as "cute".
And that is before you realize – as the poster above pointed out – that not only do some ways fail to work for other parents – but can and often are positively harmful and damaging.
Meanwhile many people - such as myself - see recourse to violence as a failure. While I am sure it might "work" in some cases that does not mean it is the only way to go about things and - for me anyway - turning to violence on any level would be my admitting that I failed intellectually to resolve the situation another way. So far I have only been a parent for slightly over 2.5 years and an uncle for over 13. Thus far I have managed to resolve every situation presented to me without recourse to violence. Long may this continue.
some kids need a good smack ........... thats the problem now you can't hit kids and they turn out to become Monsters.
Amen. Too many parents are damaging their kids more by not disciplining them than they would from a swat on the butt.
It's not cute or something to laugh at when your kid acts like a savage in a public place - something I see all too often, especially in restaurants. And there is nothing more nauseating than the parents who plead with their children to stop their monstrous behavior.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Because other parents have found something that works for them you "hate" them. Over reaction much?
Timeout never worked for any kid. The only way it might work was if it was for hours on end, and the bad (aka lenient) parents would claim that is child abuse.
I was in the elevator at my apartment the other day with a woman and 2 kids, both under 5 I would guess. She didn't hit them in front of me, but she talked to them like she completely detested them. She kept telling them to shut the hell up and told them they were getting on her damn nerves. It was awful and I felt upset about it the rest of the day. I wanted to say something, but this person is my neighbor and if she talks to her own children that way, I can only imagine what she would do to me for telling her to stop yelling at her children. I doubt my saying anything would have changed her treatment of them, but I still felt guilty for not saying anything.
If and when a day comes that the kid hits his parents back it should be expected.
I dont buy the mental illness thing, then every kid in my childhood neighborhood would have been insane by now..................we were children of the 60's, mothers didnt do time out....lol
oh, and id and when the day comes that the kid hits the parent back, that becomes the last day oif the childs life. just sayin
I raised 3 boys, they are college graduates, so I must have done something right, and no, they didn't get a "time out", they got smacked, not a serious beaten where they were thrown to the curb imobilezed (sp), but a good smack, when I felt they needed it.....but fortunetely they were actually good and well behaved, so I really didnt have any problems, even thru teen years, oddly enough.....
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just sayin
