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As I said in my last post, this is what I expected.
My guess is she doesn't want to go to counseling for a number of reasons. First, it would mean she has to admit there is a problem. Second, it means she would have to acknowledge that SHE is part of the problem. Finally, counseling would mean that she and your marriage need to change in order to fix the problem.
Counseling is not for the weak. It's not dinner and flowers and fun. It's much easier to sit back and just let things roll along, hoping that the problem doesn't become worse or "magically" fixes itself. Unfortunately that's not the way things usually work. This can be fixed now with relatively little pain. As the years pass, the problem will become much worse and much more difficult to fix. She really doesn't know what she's doing here. I'm sorry to say it, but this will come back on her in the future.
Irish--I'm really sorry about this. You seem like a nice man that, although misguided at times, really only wants the best for his family.
She has to know that I know she's just telling me what I want to hear. " Look, I've thought about what I said that night and I was wrong to say it so I apologize( she should apologize to him). I know that we've only had a few positive weeks, but they've been very good weeks and I don't see the need for counseling. We've obviously found a recipe for success in these last few weeks and this shouldn't be a problem as long as we keep doing what we're doing. ( about our son) " sure he's a pain sometimes but he's my pain and I love him *giggles*. I think its great what you two are doing"
You wanted to hear that you had a few positive weeks, and that a "recipe for success" been found so therefore no need for counseling? She gave you a false apology-- that's what she thinks you want? Given to what you said you wanted, she hasn't told you what you wanted to hear at all. You guys are still not on the same page.
You can't have a successful marriage if one isn't willing to work on the marriage. She shown yet again she doesn't see nor appreciate the problems within the marriage or her relationship with her son; that's its all on you. I don't how many times it has to emphasize (and I get that you're perhaps not ready for the next stage)... but you need to decide what to do next. Either you put up and shut up... Go along with whatever your wife wants (therefor having unfulfilled marriage) --OR-- Let go and move for real progress.
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