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I assure you that there is nothing simple about anxiety. It can be crippling and debilitating to the point of full disability.
Everyone is saying "get her help" "admit her into the hospital" and such AS IF it's that easy. She can't be forced into treatment. It's the law. Cutting isn't considered suicidal by mental health professionals.
OP, does she not have friends because she choses not to have friends, prefers to be alone? Or does she wish she had friends?
I'm not surprised Prozac didn't work. It's not a drug to take alone for serious anxiety disorders. She may need a benzo and a mood stabilizer too.
I just want to share something with you for the future since it is unlikely you'll overcome this in a short period of time. There is a deadline---her 22 birthday---to apply for social security benefits under your earnings. This is important to know because based on her earnings or lack of earnings, she would only get a couple hundred a month. Calculating on your earnings will be significantly more money for her to support herself if she becomes officially disabled.
I think something happened to your daughter. A change as sudden as she showed and all the other symptoms...She is suffering through something.
If drugs aren't involved, which should be easy to rule out with a urine test, I think it is possible she was assaulted - maybe raped or almost raped. Something serious happened to her, and you need to help her deal with it.
First, I would just ask her straight up if something happened to her. Even if she says no, if she tears up or otherwise suggests with her body language that the answer is yes, I would consider taking her to a rape crisis center. She can talk to someone there free of charge. Group counseling is also available. They would be able to help her find additional care as well.
Second, I would take her to your local mental health center. She can see someone there on a sliding scale.
All the other things you spend money on - even food - mean nothing if your daughter is dead. Ask your parents for help. Get a second job. Do whatever you have to do. She is crying out for someone to help her. Be the person, regardless of sacrifice, that she can depend on. Be her soft place to fall. Do for her what she is unable to do for herself right now.
You are her father. Don't give up on her.
I also agree that she needs a new therapist. Either she doesn't trust the therapist or the therapist isn't asking the right questions. Also, if she has been on Prozac for some time with no improvement, then it's time to try a new one. I would insist they try a new drug.
It is also true that you can have her taken to the ER and admitted for a psych hold and eval. The cuts on her wrist are enough.
I agree that something probably happened to make her change like that. It can be really hard to tell your dad when something happens, because you feel like you let him down and like you're not his sweet little girl anymore, even though it wasn't your fault. It can also be hard to tell him if the dad has a temper, because you're afraid that he'll track down the guy who did it and kill them and end up in jail, and you would blame yourself. I wasn't able to tell my dad when something happened to me, for those reasons.
I'd have to go with Tough Love. Tell her she has a month to get a job, enroll in school or find a new place to live. Anything else is only going to enable her to maintain the slacker lifestyle further.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lfp2000
I went in her room a couple of days ago and found empty bottles of cough syrup that I suspect she is drinking to get high.
Cough syrup often contains codeine (an opiate). When mixed with soda, it is often referred to as "lean" or "purple drank". If she is abusing opiates, it would explain the lethargy and avoidance issues. Get her to take a drug test.
Unfortunately my insurance doesn't cover that. She has seen a psychiatrist a couple of times for her Prozac prescriptions. He has assured me, although I don't know how he can come to any conclusions out of a couple of meetings, that her problem looks different from her mothers. I am still nervous about the possibility though, because my wife is Schizophrenic. Another genetic possibility is ADD, my wife also had that. But because my daughter's previous marks show no evidence for this, and because people often abuse ADD medications they won't put her on it.
Go the public route. She is over 18, unemployed she may qualify for some counseling or inpatient programs offered to folks on a sliding scale fee.
It really does sound like an onset of a major mental illness. I hope you can find her a program to help her, sad. Mental illness is greatly misunderstood, and can be life threatening without the proper help and diagnosis.
I would just ask her straight up if something happened to her. Even if she says no, if she tears up or otherwise suggests with her body language that the answer is yes, I would consider taking her to a rape crisis center.
Wow, that sure is jumping to conclusions. Sure something (a million things) could have happened to her. But why push one solution on any one of a million problems?
I lack experience in the more serious aspects of this situation and because of that I hesitated to offer an opinion or advice. However, I have changed my mind on the off-chance it may help....
The first thing I would do is help her self-esteem. Step 1 is finishing her high school coursework. I would get her to enroll in a community college to finish her high school requirements. And, this is important, I would take the classes with her. Not only will that greatly increase the chances of her finishing but she will know someone cares about her.
Presuming that goes well, she just may be lifted from her accomplishment that she can move toward the next steps, whatever they may be.
In high school my daughter was a straight A student and always an accomplished artist for her age. She has been hired to paint murals for buildings throughout the city. But she has never had any friends or a job. She has always been incredibly reserved. Halfway through her senor year her grades dropped to failing in all classes and she did not graduate because of the english requirement. Now she is nearly nineteen, it is two years later and nothing has changed. She hasn't made any attempt to retake her english course and get her diploma or look for a job. She won't talk to anyone either. Generally she spends her days sleeping in her room, and at night I don't know. I went in her room a couple of days ago and found empty bottles of cough syrup that I suspect she is drinking to get high. My other teenage daughter told me months ago about cuts on her wrists.
I don't know how to tackle this situation properly. I'm a single father and the mother is... lets just say incapacitated. I've been sending her to talk to a counselor weekly, but over the two years it hasn't brought about any improvement. We've tried Prozac and it was also ineffective. Her biggest issues seem to be with laziness, anxiety, and avoidance.
Your daughter is too far gone for forum advice. You need a really good professional psychologist to help you figure out the best course. Whatever she's got now is not working - look for someone else. Look for someone who is not anti-meds and will refer if she needs them. A really good professional, with a good education and experience (not a "counselor" or other less qualified person,but someone with "dr." in front of their name either for academics or med or both). Keep looking.
I agree with the above poster. This young lady has been " off" for quite some time- perhaps most of her life.
Yes, she is talented and smart. However, the OP states she never has friends and she talks to no one. These are indications of long term problems functioning in the world. Artistic & intellectual ability do not necessarily correlate with good mental health. She really could use psychiatric help.
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