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This could backfire and cause her to become MORE fascinated with the "forbidden" item. If you place a "premium" on an item you deem to be less worthy, it will immediately become MORE important to her.
Too many toys certainly can be harmful socially and developmentally, especially for toddlers. It can shorten their attention spans. They rarely focus because there is always "another" option coming along.
It can cause them to not take care of their "stuff" because something new is always coming.
It can cause them to judge people based on "what they gave me."
I also suspect despite my best efforts to teach financial responsibility she'll just get the cool clothes from the wealthy side anyway. She's going to hate me when she realizes the closet at one house is filled with designer and the closet at the other house is filled with Targe'
This could backfire and cause her to become MORE fascinated with the "forbidden" item. If you place a "premium" on an item you deem to be less worthy, it will immediately become MORE important to her.
Too many toys certainly can be harmful socially and developmentally, especially for toddlers. It can shorten their attention spans. They rarely focus because there is always "another" option coming along.
It can cause them to not take care of their "stuff" because something new is always coming.
It can cause them to judge people based on "what they gave me."
Lots of potenetial itfalls.
This is a good point. I had completely forgotten about it but a while ago I read about decluttering toddlers toys because of the effect of their attention span and other things. This wasn't the article I read but just found it now on google and might be helpful to the OP Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids | Becoming Minimalist I got rid of all the electronic toys and toys that were rarely played with and it did seem to help my toddler's attention span.
This is a good point. I had completely forgotten about it but a while ago I read about decluttering toddlers toys because of the effect of their attention span and other things. This wasn't the article I read but just found it now on google and might be helpful to the OP Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids | Becoming Minimalist I got rid of all the electronic toys and toys that were rarely played with and it did seem to help my toddler's attention span.
The truth is she doesn't play with all her toys. She finds stuffed animals to be essentially useless but is intrigued by electronics. I've heard a lot of criticism about electronics but her her first computer like device. She'll be using them her whole life. I would assume it's doing her a favor to introduce her to age appropriate "starter computers" now might put her ahead if the curve if she develops a love for it. But I will check out the article thanks.
On a similar note, I've heard a lot of criticisms of "plopping kids down in front of the TV" but PBS along with certain educational DVDs have clearly contributed heavily to her development. Would she be farther along if we plopped her down in front of a wall to watch paint dry?
Without getting into too much detail beyond the scope of the question, we do a lot of activities. Many more than the average family. There are many websites that list childrens' activities in our area and I have at least one planned for each day. She's been to all the museums, petted all the animals, done train rides, boat rides, several libraries, pumpkin patch, swam in all the pools, been in the planetarium etc. So with regard to that I think we're far ahead of the curve.
She loves to color. Although staying in the lines isn't a facet of her artistic style. Printing out free coloring sheets is definitely a good idea. I don't feed her McDonald's. We're very diet conscious. With regard to job training, I'm trained about as highly as you can get as far as degrees go and published in my field. While I did have it rough growing up, been homeless etc. That's not our situation now. We're not in Malibu, but she's a baby and frankly there are still a plethora of cultural activities for kids a short cab ride away. I run several businesses. I just don't make a killing doing it. I've been applying to traditional jobs for a couple of years now with no luck it's really rough. I've had maybe 3 interviews out of about 250 applications. And then the second round of applications and then dead air. So I do the businesses to make ends meet.
Also I have her more than the weekend (because running my own businesses gives me the opportunity to stay at home with her more often). I don't rent out an office space. So I'm saving money there and I'm generally with her several days a week. Most museum memberships etc. are relatively inexpensive. With regard to the essentials her mom and I do those separately. While we share, and it's not a volatile situation between us, she has everything at my house that she has over there. (Even though I'm technically paying for it twice by providing the support and then still buying the goods that support 23is supposed to cover). Her needs aren't met there and this is the wild kingdom. Her needs are equally met in both homes and if she's experiencing an equal amount of education/cultural experience in her other home that would be miraculous. With regard to support I pay much more than the average father of one child. I voluntary pay what most states order for multiple children. Of course kids are very expensive so I recognize even that can't be covering it all. But I pay a hefty support and am glad to. I also contribute to her daycare on days she's not with me. Additionally her mother's side is very wealthy and caring, so she's not in a situation where she's foregoing basic necessities. She's taken care of on both ends.
We just live in a place I wouldn't dare let her go to public elementary school. So we'll be moving before then.
I understand what you're saying about the $1040 and that's something to consider. But $1040 won't get you an English Basement in my zip code (gentrification). Let alone the areas I'd like to move to. And, unfortunately I'm spending a lot more than that annually. But you're right. You can never go wrong by saving.
My question was more-so is there something mentally unhealthy about all the purchases and constant gift giving (not as in me being crazy for doing it) but is it damaging to her? Out of the gifts a few are building sets but most are books and DVD's. I'd say she has an extensive vocabulary for her age full sentences, can count to 20 etc. She can identify shapes, animals, letters, numbers, although she's not reading yet. I think she's doing pretty good for a 2 year old and I attribute a lot of that to these books, DVD's and just being around and putting in the time.
Maybe my initial post gave a poor impression that I'm struggling to feed her chicken nuggets and can't afford to keep decent shoes on her feet whilst "blowing money" on these gifts. That's not the case.
My question is, is there a negative psychological impact to her for always coming over to a couple new items? Or, is it okay to provide what you can for your child? I don't want an entitled, spoiled brat, with a consumerist complex. But past purchases are a part of the reason she does know her ABC's, colors, shapes, animals, etc. on a Kindergartener's level at 2. So I wouldn't really want to cut those out, but is too much?
Thank you for the second post as the first post did give me a much different impression of the situation.
Instead of constantly buying more toys and books you may consider rotating items (esp. for a preschooler). Put some away for a few weeks and pull them out and they will be like a brand new toy/ book/experience. Sometimes the sheer quantity of toys, books, games, dolls, etc can be overwhelming for young children (esp. at clean up time).
Remember when you were younger and had one special toy? Or one special game? Or a favorite book?
Now imagine that instead of one toy truck you had a dozen toy trucks or twenty toy trucks, instead of one Transformer toy, you received a new one every week until you couldn't find a place to keep them and couldn't even tell them apart? Instead of one favorite book that you had Mom or Dad read every night before bed you had hundreds of books that you looked at but didn't really care about.
Sometimes when a child is overwhelmed by too many "things" they lose the specialness of having just a few, but well loved items. What is "too many things" vary from child to child.
Just because you can buy more books, DVDs & toys doesn't mean that you should buy more.
Sometimes, moderation is best. Just because you love chocolate doesn't mean that you should eat chocolate all day long.
It can be a tough decision. Good luck to you.
As you are aware, a child can learn colors, ABCs , shapes very easily just by using the world around her, you do not have to buy books, DVDs, educational toys, etc.
Don't teach her, indirectly, that clothes are social currency.
A lot of that you WILL NOT be able to control, because she will be influenced by peers. But you can help by not emphasizing the "Expensive is good, Target is bad" mantra. Teach her that, like a lot of things, clothes come in all price points, and it's FUN and creative to get stuff from all across the spectrum.
Thank you for the second post as the first post did give me a much different impression of the situation.
Instead of constantly buying more toys and books you may consider rotating items (esp. for a preschooler). Put some away for a few weeks and pull them out and they will be like a brand new toy/ book/experience. Sometimes the sheer quantity of toys, books, games, dolls, etc can be overwhelming for young children (esp. at clean up time).
Remember when you were younger and had one special toy? Or one special game? Or a favorite book?
Now imagine that instead of one toy truck you had a dozen toy trucks or twenty toy trucks, instead of one Transformer toy, you received a new one every week until you couldn't find a place to keep them and couldn't even tell them apart? Instead of one favorite book that you had Mom or Dad read every night before bed you had hundreds of books that you looked at but didn't really care about.
Sometimes when a child is overwhelmed by too many "things" they lose the specialness of having just a few, but well loved items. What is "too many things" vary from child to child.
Just because you can buy more books, DVDs & toys doesn't mean that you should buy more.
Sometimes, moderation is best. Just because you love chocolate doesn't mean that you should eat chocolate all day long.
It can be a tough decision. Good luck to you.
As you are aware, a child can learn colors, ABCs , shapes very easily just by using the world around her, you do not have to buy books, DVDs, educational toys, etc.
My concern would be the inevitable *I'm bored,* when she doesn't get a *new* toy. Imo, kids need a little boredom and need to learn how to make there own fun. At two, this is less of a problem, but still, at two my kids did not need toys to be entertained. We made things out of recycled toilet tissue rolls and paper towel rolls and played with those. Also, imo, creativity if much more important than playing with electronic toys and watching dvds. So, do have legos (duplos for the younger kids) and blocks to build with and plain paper to cut and color on (coloring books are over-rated, drawing your own picture is much better and just as much fun). Get playdough which is reusable and make different animals to play with or make food and have a tea party. Get an easel and paints or use a child size table and huge paper to finger paint with. Get contact paper and let her make a collage by cutting pictures from old magazines and pasting them on the contact paper (no messy glue needed). Do messy play with different things like shaving cream and chocolate pudding (use the shaving cream only after she is out of the putting things in her mouth phase).
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