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While the overwhelming majority of men are not pedophiles, the truth is that pedophiles seek out roles where they will have regular contact with children (school, scouts, camp counselor, etc). They do this because this provides them with a hunting ground for vulnerable victims. They then subtly begin grooming them, and this usually begins with innocuous conversation.
While odds are that he is not a sexual predator, nothing you have shared in this thread convinces me that he is not one.
And I realize that it is terrible that normal men end up feeling questioned about their involvement with children due to the fact that pedophiles have put so many parents on alert.
Agh! Another one! Keep perpetuating the myth that the majority of men are pedophiles, and we will never reach a level of trust.
Perhaps you could send the instructor a message on FB thanking him for mentoring your daughter. It lets the instructor know that you are aware that your daughter is talking to him.
Can't rep you right now, but I really liked this suggestion.
Actually the OP did give the ages. The daughter is 15, the instructor is late 20's to early 30's. It appears once again, any contact men have with teenage girls will be considered suspect. You don't even know who initiated the contact, yet you blame the man.
It is not about blame. It is about the well being of the child. It would have been good for my husband if his parents had not been quite so trusting of the boy scout leader. It would have been good for me if my parents had not been quite so trusting of the basketball coach. Taking sensible precaution is not blame.
It is not about blame. It is about the well being of the child. It would have been good for my husband if his parents had not been quite so trusting of the boy scout leader. It would have been good for me if my parents had not been quite so trusting of the basketball coach. Taking sensible precaution is not blame.
I am really sorry that happened to you.
But I do think that when we raise children to be comfortable saying NO to adults, by the time they are 15 they will not be easily preyed upon by mentor types.
But I do think that when we raise children to be comfortable saying NO to adults, by the time they are 15 they will not be easily preyed upon by mentor types.
That is true. But I do think that Facebook is a brave new world. And a little caution goes a long way. But then I don't think internet privacy is an expectation that ANYone should have. And I would be talking to my daughter, and maybe monitoring the conversations.
I know that more than a few martial arts instructors are really into their work; it is more than about teaching a skill to them, it is a whole lifestyle.
I do Brazilian jiu jitsu and muay thai; a few of my instructors throughout my life have been like this. I know at my schools there was an elevated trust factor in the instructors by parents who drop off their kids/teens, I even gave a 16 year old boy a ride once because of some event downtown was blocking the normal bus route; depending on the school, it can be a very trusting environment, but we all know that does not mean bad things do not happen, just demonstrating a perspective of how the environment could be.
I guess in this case, it comes down to what the content of the communication is. My opinion is the communicaiotn should not be outside professional bounds, but in the case of a hyped up martial arts instructor, it is difficult to say what professional is since for many people, martial arts goes beyond just physical skills.
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