Working moms/dads, how do you manage your schedule? (daycare, ideas, meal plan)
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I'm preparing to go back to work in late August. I know I need to get us organized so that our lives don't becme chaotic. Dh and I work opposing schedules to minimize daycare need, so this means when we're home she will be with us and we will have to learn to manage the home essentially alone. I bought Amy Knapp's Big Grid Family Organizer. I'll try to prep meals for the week on Sundays and ready our lunches the night before. I thought of assigning each of us tasks to complete daily and then weekly on this calendar. Should we hire a housekeeper? How do you manage everything?
I went back to work 1 year ago after 5 years at home. Your schedules are different than ours. We work at the same time. My hours are more or less set. I work 7:30-5:30 and get one day off every other week. DH's hours are a little more flexible, but he's more likely to have emergencies come up where he has to stay late.
I drop off, DH picks up. He gets to work around 7:00 so he can leave by 4:30 or 5:00. He picks them up and takes them to their activities and/or sits with them while they do homework. Usually that's where they are when I get home and start dinner. I make their lunches in the morning.
I cook on the weekends and we eat leftovers during the week. Usually a weeknight dinner is just reheating a main dish and maybe making a side dish. We split the dishes. Sometimes I do them while he gets the kids organized for the following day or finishes homework.
On weekends, DH does the yard work and I do laundry. The laundry usually lingers into the new week too. It is never done! He does his own, but I do mine, the kids, the towels, sheets, etc. I also pay the bills and do the grocery shopping. DH is good about doing minor repairs and projects around the house.
We have a house cleaner come every other week. We tidy up and vacuum or wipe down bathrooms as needed, but I mostly don't do any regular cleaning.
We split bed time. We used to each take one kid to bed every night, trading kids each night. Then we took turns taking them to bed and reading to them together. Now we switch off nights again, putting both to bed. So every other night I put the kids to bed. Every other night I sit on the couch and pick a TV show to watch. Same for him.
On my 1 day off every other week, I do the grocery shopping and run other errands as necessary. Never is it a relaxing "me" day.
My husband was great about picking up some slack when I went back to work. He just slid right into his new role.
I hope that helps! Good luck!
ETA We also started giving the kids more chores. They now help with the laundry so it is less of a burden on me alone.
Mainly prioritize. Give up what isn't as important. Kind of stressful to try to be perfect in everything.
Always remember the best years of your life are when the kids are little so make sure you always keep that in mind, you have your whole life to do yard work or housework but the kids won't be little for long. Savor all the moments with them.
A housekeeper is a fabulous idea if it won't stress your finances. You'll still need to pick up after yourselves for day-to-day stuff and clean up after meals, but they'll handle whatever deep cleaning you want them to -- floors, bathrooms, kitchen, etc. We had a service biweekly through a difficult pregnancy and then afterwards when we were selling our house, and it was worth every penny. Other things you can outsource if you prefer and can afford to are yardwork and laundry. That said, it's a nice-to-have, not a necessary; you can get all of that stuff done while with your kiddo.
I'm preparing to go back to work in late August. I know I need to get us organized so that our lives don't becme chaotic. Dh and I work opposing schedules to minimize daycare need, so this means when we're home she will be with us and we will have to learn to manage the home essentially alone. I bought Amy Knapp's Big Grid Family Organizer. I'll try to prep meals for the week on Sundays and ready our lunches the night before. I thought of assigning each of us tasks to complete daily and then weekly on this calendar. Should we hire a housekeeper? How do you manage everything?
First. Breathe! Baby steps.
Schedule: I, personally, never liked a written calendar. With a digital calendar, I can access it anywhere. When thing change, I don't to erase/cross out. My husband and I share each others calendars so we can see each others stuff and share appointments.
Assigning tasks: Do I recall that your little one is a baby? So you won't be assigning her tasks. Again, personally, I found "assigning" tasks did not work really well. DH did not feel invested in activities that he had no input into deciding. He felt micromanaged and nagged. Instead we had discussions of responsibilities in broad strokes. I was responsible for this, this and this. He was responsible for that, that and that. And then I got out of his way. We would re-discuss as issues arose. I had to get used to the idea that HOW something got done was something I had any say in.
Meals: Meal planning is KEY. Crock pots are your savior. Beef and pork, especially the cheaper cuts, can go all day. Likewise soups, stews, chilies. Chicken is a bit harder since it tends to dry out when cooked all day. Since you stagger your schedules, this may be less of a problem for you. Whomever is home can start the crock pot x hours before meal time, and the next parent takes over for serving time. Or I have had success freezing the meal in the crock pot in some kind of liner. When it is time to cook, place frozen chicken into crock pot and place on low. (Not advised by any manufacturer or cook book, but we have yet to die from this.)
Make ahead: There are lots of ways to make ahead, including the Sunday plan that you have mentioned. I, personally, would not want to devote every Sunday to this. I have worked my way up to OAMC which I then combine with very quick evening meals and slow cooker easy meals. We liked this book
OAMC includes simple stuff like Mexican meat mix which I can throw into tacos, buritos or even omelets w/ tomatoes. We make a "master" meat mix that can be made into meatloaf and meatballs for spag or subs... You can make pancakes, waffles and the like for breakfast variety that you throw in the toaster frozen. You may want to ramp this up with a trial runs. Going for a month of meals in your first try is tough. Not necessarily my favorite, but a decent start:
So once a month, I OAMC. Once a week, I plan the week from among the prepared meals, fresh quick and throw together the night before crock pot. A bread machine with a timer is pretty slick too. And if I am going to bother to make something in the crock pot, I at least double it and freeze leftovers. One of my favorite brain dead meals is to take 2 plus chuck roasts and stick it in the crock pot on low when I get up. Cook all day. (I peel and chunk potatoes and put them in cold water on the stove the night before. Cook for mashed when I arrive home by simply turning on the stove,) Eat for dinner. Freeze the leftovers (meat and gravy separately but then affixed together somehow). It makes great beef pot pie, beef hash (goes well with the breakfast for dinner theme)...
OAMC can also help with lunches. http://www.30*****urmet.com/Products...hes-To-Go.aspx. But you don't need a special book or special ideas. Any soup or stew can be frozen in lunch portions. The internet is PACKED with ideas.
Housekeeper is totally up to you. It is a balancing act. Two income household does not necessarily mean rolling in dough. Habits are your friend. Check out fly lady if you like. I cannot stand the purple puddle motivational nonsense. But the procedure is a good one.
Good luck! And try to remember to enjoy the process. If you are type A like me, this getting organized process is like a goal unto itself. Baby steps. And be proud of your accomplishments along the way. And recognize that some days you are gonna eat take out and the dishes are gonna still be in the sink when you go to bed exhausted at night. Cuddle up to your sweetie and fughhetaboutit. ou can worry about it again tomorrow.
ETA We also started giving the kids more chores. They now help with the laundry so it is less of a burden on me alone.
It does, but will be more applicable when she is older and when we have similar schedules. Being able to split duties every night or have one person watch the child while the other attends to whatever is key, which is what you highlight here for me. That's our problem right now. We won't be able to help each other most days. I guess it will sort of be like single working parents on those days. Also, his days off are now Sun/Mon, again to avoid a great need for daycare. This is a part of the reason I'm thinking we need an organizational plan. With that said, he's up for a promotion and that will potentially change his hours to a degree and eliminate some of the problems we're facing now, but we'll need daycare in the afternoons. I'm torn about it. We had him switch his hours, change his days off, etc, which has been difficult, and now it may be for not. It sounds like you and your husband work very well together. I hope we have the same dynamic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
Mainly prioritize. Give up what isn't as important. Kind of stressful to try to be perfect in everything.
Always remember the best years of your life are when the kids are little so make sure you always keep that in mind, you have your whole life to do yard work or housework but the kids won't be little for long. Savor all the moments with them.
I completely agree. I want to hold onto this year and the few years to come. One of my friend's told me she hated the first year. Between the lack of sleep and a colicky baby she was miserable. And she stayed home the first year! I don't want to have that experience, although the lack of sleep has been difficult. My baby has reflux, so I spend a lot of time feeding/holding her upright wash/repeat. I hope it gets better in the coming weeks. Adding my job to the mix, which can be a demanding PIA, has me a little worried, but I'm going to do my best to go into it organized with a mellow attitude. The only thing I do that isn't important is spend time here. And I did give up quite a bit in the initial months. That will no doubt happen again when I go back to work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
Just repeat this mantra, "I am a perpetual motion machine, I do not need sleep.".
I made housework, and cleaning, part of time with kids, we did laundry together, folded clothes together...it takes more time, but ends up being fun.
Hilarious. My girl cannot help yet, but I carry her with me when I do tasks can explain what I'm doing. That will be easier when I can throw her in the wrap carrier when she can hold her head up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
First. Breathe! Baby steps.
Schedule: I, personally, never liked a written calendar. With a digital calendar, I can access it anywhere. When thing change, I don't to erase/cross out. My husband and I share each others calendars so we can see each others stuff and share appointments.
I have a calendar in my phone, which I heavily rely on, and did look for one we could share between my iphone and his droid, but he's not into using his phone like that. I wish. He doesn't text, check voice mail, or do anything with it other than use it for talking, music, and gps. The calendar will be used, in part, for his benefit. It's going right by the entrance to his den as well, which is in the kitchen. Hopefully he'll look at it.
Quote:
Again, personally, I found "assigning" tasks did not work really well. DH did not feel invested in activities that he had no input into deciding. He felt micromanaged and nagged. Instead we had discussions of responsibilities in broad strokes. I was responsible for this, this and this. He was responsible for that, that and that. And then I got out of his way. We would re-discuss as issues arose. I had to get used to the idea that HOW something got done was something I had any say in.
I'm hoping the scheduling assignment of these tasks will become routines. Even the few routines we had before the baby have gone awry. For example, he's always taken the garbage cans out to the curb weekly (I take the garbage and recycling to the cans through out the week), but he has forgotten a few times now since the baby has been born and with the added mess it makes life harder. So, it's not that these will be new tasks for either of us where input is required. We've both worked forever and have split the household duties all along know who does what. It's getting them done with our new responsibilities, which I plan to take the lead on for now. And I need the structure of a schedule that can turn into a routine just as much. It feels like there are not enough ours in the day. I don't know how parents do it.
Regarding meals: I have started bookmarking crock pot recipes. I think I will organize my recipe list today as well ask DH for lunch ideas. Maybe I will make some signs to hang by the door. He went to work and forgot to bring his lunch.
I'm preparing to go back to work in late August. I know I need to get us organized so that our lives don't becme chaotic. Dh and I work opposing schedules to minimize daycare need, so this means when we're home she will be with us and we will have to learn to manage the home essentially alone. I bought Amy Knapp's Big Grid Family Organizer. I'll try to prep meals for the week on Sundays and ready our lunches the night before. I thought of assigning each of us tasks to complete daily and then weekly on this calendar. Should we hire a housekeeper? How do you manage everything?
I really suggest flylady. Her system literally changed my families lives. She tries to get you to buy some dumb things, and it is a bit "rah rah" but if you do commit to breaking it into small, habits (not chores), and divide those habits up, it becomes so second nature it seems like it takes care of itself. I like it because it helps us maintain a minimum level of order during extremely stressful times, and easily pick back up to whatever level your normal standards require. I don't know if I am allowed to put a link but if you want one I can DM.
It would look weird if you came to my house on a typical, say Wednesday night. We would be watching TV (radical notion but we watch 2 hours or so a night) and every time a commercial comes on everyone would jump up and do something. For example, my daughter would go load the dishwasher from the sink (we fill the sink up with soapy water while cooking and throw all the dishes/pots in while we dirty them), I would run through the living room and put every bodies stuff in their baskets on the stairs, the SO would vacuum one room (I think Tuesdays is the dining room), my brother would take the garbage out, and my sister would start making sandwiches for lunch. You can get all of that done in one commercial break (except the lunches, that takes us about 3). Then we do something else at another one (like fold or put away laundry).
I do get up about 20 minutes early put in a load of laundry and empty the dishwasher. We don't really do meal prep, but we do meal plan as a family all at once.
Same thing with kid stuff. Make a list (together) that is broken into very specific pieces. For example, we wouldn't make a list that said get kid read for bed but rather. Give bath, read story, lay out tomorrows clothes, bring down old laundry, etc of all the things, and then divvy those up. The things no one likes we take turns doing.
Housekeeper is totally up to you. It is a balancing act. Two income household does not necessarily mean rolling in dough. Habits are your friend. Check out fly lady if you like. I cannot stand the purple puddle motivational nonsense. But the procedure is a good one.
I LOVE flylady except the purple stuff too!! I mean I don't really do her schedule anymore (I did for YEARS) but I must do habits, just now they are my habits.
I don't know how most families do it. School/camp gets out usually around 3pm and everyday I see all the moms (mostly) and a few dads available picking up their kid like they don't have a job. Unless one parent is an executive somewhere, this is a dual-income area. By some happenstance in '05, I now have the luxury of working from home full time (yay IT) and that's the only way I am able to do most of the things around the house everyday instead of my wife who spends 3 hrs a day round-trip commuting into Manhattan. It's not all easy though - last few days I've had to leave in the middle of conf calls while demo-ing a product to get the kids, then come back and un-mute. I have them home with me banging around while I try and concentrate on coding stuff. Kindergarten coming up ends at 3pm too. My wife gets home at 530-ish and cooks fresh meals every night and leftovers for lunch. Kids are in the shower with me when I shower before their bedtime - which sucks because I can't even exercise during the free-time I have afterward. Bedtime is great now - we don't have to fall asleep with them anymore... we simply walk them into their room.
Last edited by ovi8; 07-24-2013 at 02:24 PM..
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Again, personally, I found "assigning" tasks did not work really well. DH did not feel invested in activities that he had no input into deciding. He felt micromanaged and nagged. Instead we had discussions of responsibilities in broad strokes. I was responsible for this, this and this. He was responsible for that, that and that. And then I got out of his way. We would re-discuss as issues arose. I had to get used to the idea that HOW something got done was something I had any say in.
And I did give up quite a bit in the initial months. That will no doubt happen again when I go back to work.
