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I can relate TOTALLY. Dealing with this at my home with a 17yr old who is not mine. Looking back I wish I'd done the following.
NO EATING IN YOUR ROOM.
The Kitchen closes at (9pm?) Take a bottle of water with you when you turn in. (I've imagined a chain and lock around the fridge)
Turn in electronics at bedtime (prearranged time) You may read in bed. (text messages keep kids up all night)
Put her in some kind of physical program (horseback riding comes to mind, but there's canoeing, swimming, rock climbing) Something physically exerting, fitness promoting. Drag her kicking and screaming. You know your child, pick something you know would fit her personality and MAKE her. She won't want to but will fall in love with it and thank you later. If she doesn't want this then offer the alternative of volunteering at a charity - animal shelter... library... hospital...
Bottom line: it's YOUR home. She needs to comply with the rules. In the long run it's better for her anyway.
Figure out a reward: Allowance? Teach budgeting...
Seek counseling if you need help figuring out how to make things work out.
Comparing this to the easy concept used with horses: Make doing the right thing more comfortable than doing the wrong thing.
I'm 17 and I'm a night owl, I actually sound a lot like your daughter. Just last night I went up to bed at 930 but was up packing for school, looking stuff up etc. I do think you need to compromise a little bit. Usually when I'm up I'll write stories, but I have a tablet with swipe typing so it's silent- maybe you can ask her to write her songs instead of typing them. If she has a smartphone or iPod or any hand held device that can be hooked up to wifi ask her to use headphones. Forcing her to sleep won't help. I know I like to bake late at night, but I've stopped and now I'll bake around 10, is still late but not 2 am. Instead of buying a mini fridge why not buy some snacks she can keep in her room? I'm not a late eater but I drink a lot of water so I have a case in my room and some snacks like granola bars
Also as some others have mentioned is she active? I know I played softball and even that wouldn't help me sleep, do not FORCE her into an activity just because ad the above poster mentioned
My kids are older but my son has always been like this. I learned to adapt to his "up and downs" to the bathroom, to the kitchen, to wherever, because you just can't tie someone up when you want to. I keep my door mostly closed, I have a sound machine, I made a "no cooking ANYTHING after...x" rule (the smell would come thru the floor vents and wake me up) and other things. Honestly, it's only good for 75% of the problems but the good news is this is part of growing up and being independent and they all need that. In a couple years she will be gone and you will get silence again. Just like we have to get used to a babies routine and it keeps us up sometimes, so do the routines of other adults. Our children don't necessarily make the best roommates.
Amen to that! Great summation. And, just a reminder, when they move out, we miss the noise, empty refrigerator, and mess.
I wonder if I will be able to stand a quiet house when that day comes, I think the silence will drive me crazy.
I've already gotten into the idea of just enjoying hearing the sounds they make. I like that they're home and safe and the far off sound of sirens has nothing to do with them.
Sit her down and tell her, "look, you're a night owl, I'm not. We both have to live here, but since I pay the bills, here's what we're going to do. You be considerate of my sleep, and I won't take away your computer/phone/whateverotherelectonicdevice" Then give her rules/suggestions/ideas on how she can still do what she does and not bother you at the same time. See previous posts for ideas.
Sit her down and tell her, "look, you're a night owl, I'm not. We both have to live here, but since I pay the bills, here's what we're going to do. You be considerate of my sleep, and I won't take away your computer/phone/whateverotherelectonicdevice" Then give her rules/suggestions/ideas on how she can still do what she does and not bother you at the same time. See previous posts for ideas.
Sounds like a plan to me.
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