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biig difference between 15 and 17. What about a motorcycle safety course? Swimming with dolphins? Zip-lining?
Moms can come up with great ideas if they know how their child is inclined. If you didn't "force" them they'd never brush their teeth.
(love ya, teen-girl )
That sounds MUCH different than how I read the first post. I was picturing having her pull D b by the ears or force them to continue somethinh they don't enjoy. The suggestions you made here sound amazing, but the availability of stuff like that is rare, at least where I'm at. Maybe OP can ask DD about her likes, OP maybe she would be interested in a writing class or something of the sort.
As others have mentioned maybe there is a bigger problem, do her good grades come easily or does she have to work to get them? Maybe she's stressed out and it shows itself at night when she has down time. If it is stress that could explain late night snacking and cooking, she could be an emotional eater and cooking may help relieve stress. Could you maybe have her cook dinner one a week instead of at night? Anyway, if her behaviors are stress related I could not recommend anything better than yoga, when I did yoga ( before I got a job) I had the best sleep ever, like you know the niquill commercial "I slept like a log" that good. Your Gym should have classes or even your community center!
When you told your daughter how she was keeping you up was it done in a calm manner and not as an attack but in an explanation type of way? Have you asked her why she is not sleeping at night and is there something bothering her? I am a person who needs very little sleep but with that being said I have severe anxiety and that keeps me up. So that is why I am wondering about your daughter?
Since she is getting up on time and doing her homework could you state that she needs to be quiet during the middle of the night and if she is not then you will have to put an end to computer use and night time eating?
The milk issue well is she eating enough during the day time? Does she have healthy meals and snacks during the day because that may help her consume less in the evening? Some teens have high calorie needs and since you stated she is not overweight possibly she needs fuel especially if she is not eating enough during the day.
She's a night person. You said she gets her homework done, gets up for school, etc. Well, if that's true than let her do what she wants.
This seems to be your philosophy no matter the age or situation. How do you think that is going to prepare your child for the real adult world where there are rules that need to be followed?
What happens the first day of this person's first job when she "does what she wants" instead of what her boss tells her? Long before that, what happens when she "does what she wants" at school but it isn't what the teacher allows and disrupts the class?
By having no rules, you are setting your child up for failure in all other areas of life.
You can have rules and still decide not to make everything some big issue. I have very strict rules on some things but am lenient on other things. My 15 year old would have to be home by 10 pm or 11 pm but if it's not a school night, doesn't have to be in bed. I never made any issue out of the dinner table or bed times and have found that kids will go through phases, the 16 year old that likes to be up until 3 am and sleep until 11 am will adjust to other hours as needed.
Night Owls Smarter: A New Study Suggests That Late-To-Bed-Late-To-Rise Leads To Greater Workplace Success
Indeed, while many early risers outperform night owls in school, researchers said the late risers surpass their counterparts later in the workforce. Differences in preset circadian rhythms might explain the 8 percent advantage enjoyed by early risers in school, researchers said. Though outliers such as former U.S. President George W. Bush, Thomas Edison and Ernest Hemingway achieved phenomenal success as early risers, such people on average tend to make good civil servants and accountants, whereas later risers tend to demonstrate traits linked to greater occupational success and higher incomes.
My daughter is almost 15. She is a good kid in every way except one.... She's developed a habit of staying up very late. We live in a small apartment and, all night, all I hear is her going back/forth to the kitchen, opening the fridge, taking something (milk or juice), going back to her room, dancing, click-click-click on the computer, etc etc etc.
Last night, I was up until after 3am with this! I kept telling her to GO TO BED! She would quiet down for a while but then back to the nonsense. She actually stayed up all night and didn't go to sleep until 10pm tonight.
I am not getting a good night's sleep at all. I find myself constantly waking up all night long to tell her to turn off lights, get out of kitchen, go to bed, etc etc etc. This isn't something that just developed over the summer ---- she would do it a few times a week during the school year, too.
I am at my wits end with this. I need to be able to sleep without worrying about her leaving the fridge open or drinking a gallon of milk in one day or cooking something and falling asleep while it's cooking and causing a fire. I've considered a lock on the fridge and the pantry, but that just doesn't sit right with me.
Any constructive thoughts or suggestions??
I am a night owl too. It can be just a hard for the night owl to live with a non-night owl. A night owl is often seen as lazy when he or she sleeps during the day, or often has to be quiet at a time when she feels the most alive. Many also teens have changing biology that causes them to have a harder time sleeping at night which can really make a natural night owl seem like she is not sleeping at all. Here are some thoughts:
1. The milk drinking might be because she is growing and is needing the extra calcium and calories. Stock up on healthy easy to grab snacks like nuts, fruit, veggies, etc. Post a list on the fridge about what is and what is not okay to eat late at night. Do remember that if you eat dinner at 6pm, she will be hungry if she is up at 2am. That is a long time to go without food.
2. Make sure she is active during the day. If she is not active, she might not get tired. Screens interfere with sleep cues so limit those if you can 2 hours before bedtime.
3. Meltatonin can work wonders for some people. Check with her doctor if you think she would benefit.
4. Sit down with her and set some rules. No cooking, stick to her room, and she will have a bedtime during the school year.
5. Have you tried a white noise machine or ear plugs?
6. Whe are you buying milk? I usually pay half what you pay using a coupon at Rainbow. :-)
I think one challenge you may be having is that you haven't clearly defined the problem or expectation. Is it that she's awake, drinking the milk, walking around the house, using the microwave or on the computer? You need to figure out specifically what your expectation is for her in a way that anyone could look to see if she's doing it or not (being noisy is subjective; in bed by 11 with lights and electronics off is clear).
Once everyone is clear on the expectation, you need to determine how you're going to enforce it. In an earlier post you said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amisi
I've explained to her countless times about staying in her room, reading, being quiet but she's not doing it.
Explaining is not enforcing, it's asking her to make a choice that goes against what she wants. She doesn't want to read. Enforcing would be removing the computer etc. and does not require her making the choice. Your enforcement can happen whether she chooses to follow your wishes or not, and it shapes her later choices.
I would also be clear that you not want to stop her from doing what she's doing; it sounds like she's following positive interests. I would wonder why she chooses to do it at that time of night? Is there something that can be done to make it easier for her to do this earlier? I might also consider encouraging it by offering something to promote that interest if she can go a week (or a little longer than whatever she does now) with following your wishes of (whatever you determine) - a book on choreography, dance video etc.
I mean the main issue is you leaving the door open. Like other posters said get a fan from walmart, and shut the door.
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